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Thursday, December 15, 2011

I am housewife...hear me roar!

I went to get new glasses the other day.

A Russian woman was "helping" me. ("Helping"- meaning she showed me where all the designer frames were, gestured nonchallantly to the "rest" of the frames- which I took as her thinly veiled opinion that the "rest" of the frames were utter poop, and then left me to my own defenses.)

When I had chosen my favorites, she then informed me the rimless pair I had chosen was on special that day- for only $400! *cough, cough*

"Uh... I thought you said they were on sale!" I choked out.
"Oh, dey are. Dese are designer, so you know, you vill be paying more...obviously."

I said nevermind and handed her my second pair- horn rimmed cuties, also from the "designer" rack, but on sale.

"Put zem on," she said just staring at me.

I did as she commanded. She smiled and said she approved. "Oh yes, dese look very good on you. Good choice, dese horn rimmed are very in-fashion right now."

Yes, I may be a stay-at-home mom and housewife, but I do have some idea of the going fashion right now, thank you.

I went to pick out my second pair that were NOT designer, rimless, pocket-bleeders. It only took me a few moments because I had had my eye on another pair earlier before I decided on the rimless. I grabbed them and took them up.

"I'll take these, then," I said as I put them down.

"Put zem on," she said again with a very somber expression on her face.

I obeyed. This time, no smile of approval. No nod of agreement. Just dead face.
"Hmmm... " she said as I took them off.
"Put zem back on. I vant to see again."
"Vell... do you like zem?"
Now, I'm no idiot. I know this is her way of saying she hates them, they are not from the designer rack, they do not cost an arm and a first born child, these will NOT do, in her opinion.
However, I am confident enough in my choice. I like thise simpler, more understated, cheaper pair.
"Yes. I do like them. I think they have a classic look. I'll take them!"
"Hmm.... put zem back on again."
I hessitated before doing it this time. She was trying to let me know she knew better than I what looks good, but I had to strongly disagree. After all, she had horrible orange-blonde hair from a bottle. How good could her taste be?
But I put them back on.
"Hmm.....vell, ok, den."

So, I pick up my new glasses today. Maybe I'll post pictures. Maybe the russian mafia will come after me for not capitulating. Maybe I will hang my head for the next several years as I wear the glasses of shame. Or, maybe I really do know what looks good on me. Either way, it's done. I am, however, just a little teensy bit proud of myself for not succombing to russian woman's scare tactics, and standing my ground. I find this sense of power a bit refreshing. Maybe I will just hold my head higher today.
I am housewife. Hear me roar!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

My blog has the wrong name...

I re-named my blog the other day, and it bugs me to death. Why? Because it is not the truth. Chaos, yes. Organized, not by a long shot!

I've heard it said that artists minds tend to be less organized because we always have projects and ideas floating around, crowding out any place where organization might take its place. This is definitely true of my mind!

But I didn't really come here to talk about how messed up my mind is. So, if this was an essay for high school english, I would get an "F" because the opening sentence does not reflect the true topic of the paper. However, it does represent the scatter-brained nature of my ever-morphing mind! So, in a way it really is fitting now that I think of it.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, the true reason to write today is to air my frustration at this lack of snow we are having this Christmas season. I live in a state where a white Christmas is absolutely expected! If I wanted a green Christmas I would live in Hawaii!

I have been having a very difficult time getting into the holiday spirit this Christmas. Partly due to the fact that the whole ugly truth about Santa was exposed in all its blaring nakedness last week, and my son's twinkling child-like illusion came crashing down in one giant heap of broken dreams. But I think it is also partly due to the fact that we have had NO snow... at all! No glowing christmas lights illuminating the fluffy white heaps of snow on our bushes and eaves of our house. No giant floating flakes that stay on your nose and eyelashes. No snowman gracing our front lawn in mismatched gloves and old scarf.

So, my prayer this Christmas is that there be snow!!!! I'm not getting any Christmas presents this year (that I am aware of. And I am always aware of all the presents I get because I purchase them and then wrap them, write a note "to my lovely wife whom I adore forever and ever, love your husband" and pretend to be totally surprised when I open them on Christmas morning. But I spent way too much on gifts for my husband and son I decided to forgo any presents I might get.) But the one thing I absolutely insist upon this year is snow! Lots and lots of snow! Piles of snow! Snow I have to shovel three times in one day to clear off the sidewalks! (Hey, then I might get myself a snow blower for Christmas and act totally surprised when I open it on the big day! What an idea!)

So, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.... let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!!!

(And let me get a little more organized, too. There, now I tied it all in!)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

New Look...

I color my hair because it makes for a cheap new change when I need one.

I wear red lipstick when I want to feel on top of the world, whether I actually am or not!

I wear a dress or skirt when I'm feeling pretty, or want to feel pretty.

And I re-dress my blog when I'm bored.

So, the blog got a make-over today. New name, new face. Consider it red lipstick and a new hair color for the blog!

Happy Holidays!!!