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Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Student Has Become The Master....

In some recent discussions with my son, he has imparted his wisdom about the fairer sex that astounds me for someone of only 12 years. The following are thoughts he told me about his views on women and how we think:

1) You should NEVER mention a woman's age or weight, there are too many ways it can go wrong.
           When I mentioned to him that it would be ok if you told a woman she looked young, or thin, he said, "No mom, what if she doesn't want to look thin, or has been trying to put on weight because she's too thin. Or what if you tell her she looks young and she is sick and tired of people thinking she is younger than she is? No, you should just avoid these topics."  He's got me there!

2)  When a girl is crying and you ask her what's wrong and she tells you "nothing", you should assume something is wrong but that she just wants someone to listen to her, not give her advice. Even if you think what she is crying about is really stupid, she obviously thinks it's a big deal and you should just say "I understand" and give her a hug.  (He probably gets this from dealing with me... about once a month.)

3) If a girl is angry, she doesn't WANT you to make her happy.Just give her some time to cool off, and then tell her you're sorry- even if you're not. (This will get him FAR with the ladies.)

4) Women like to be right. You should just let them be right. It's not worth trying to prove them wrong.

5) Girls expect you to just "know" what they want from you. You have to really pay attention so you don't have to guess. You may need to take notes.

6) If a girl is upset, and maybe yelling at you, if you lower your voice and speak calmly, they usually calm down too. Unless they're angry, then you need to go away.

7) Women like getting flowers. You should get them flowers whenever you have enough money. Even if it isn't Valentine's Day or their birthday. (He told me when he starts earning money regularly he is going to buy me flowers. Now who can resist that?!)

Well, I'm sure there will be many more discussions about girls in the future. (gulp!) And I am certain he will glean even more wisdom through his experiences with women and girls. The kid could write a book right now, as far as I'm concerned! He really seems to have us figured out!


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

And the Oscar Goes To....

I am soooo glad I'm not a movie star! Really. When I watch the Oscars, I am reminded of why I am so glad I'm not a movie star. When I see the tabloids in the grocery store (which I NEVER pick up and read curiously, by the way. Really. I don't!) I am reminded why I am glad I'm not a movie star. But I have to say the Oscars seal the deal for me, and here is why:

 The red carpet walk is so pathetic! Women have to dress just perfectly and walk just perfectly with perfect hair and makeup and- oh, you'd better make sure your necklace isn't too big, or too understated for that matter- and you'd better have a backless dress that plunges down to your butt crack. And Oh! You'd better show at least 3/4ths of your breasts. Is that waist larger than a 9 year old girl's? Honey, you haven't been on your vegan, carb-free, colon cleansing, all liquid diet for the past month, have you?

I'm sorry, but most of those women look so stiff and uncomfortable posing for the cameras. And most look emaciated- like they had to literally starve themselves to fit into that dress. And "Oh, who are you wearing tonight, girl?" Please! If I was on the red carpet I'd be saying "Oh, this is Sam's Club, I believe. Don't you just love Sam?" Ha! I wonder what people would say to that?!

 But seriously, I ache for some of those women who CLEARLY posed in front of the mirror practicing their "camera face" for hours. Jennifer Hudson? HELLO! Clearly a practiced poser! She gets this blank stare in her eyes like "I am a pretty, pretty princess and I am really really happy. Remember, I am really, REALLY happy!" Like she's trying to convince herself. She's not the only one, though. Catherine Zeta Jones. Ok, yes she's beautiful, but she's also aging and she knows it. But she's not ready to accept it yet. She stood there in that gold dress like a statue with her cheeks sucked in and her lips pouting out a bit so she'd look absolutely perfect. Sorry, Catherine. I'd rather see you relaxed and loving your beautiful self for who you are, not who you want the world to think you are. Same goes for you, Nichole Kidman. Stop injecting your face with things that make you look like a plastic freak! You were pretty once- now you're just all wrong! Stop it!

However, there are some stars I like. The ones that seem really down to earth, like Jennifer Lawrence. She's pretty, but not perfectly pretty. And she lets her nervousness show. And she tripped on her dress on the stairs and it wasn't the end of the world. (I would totally do that, by the way!)

I guess the whole point to this completely shallow and immature post is to remind myself that NOBODY is perfect, even though they may appear to be on the red carpet at the Oscars. Every one of those women has flaws, and insecurities. They also just happen to have stylists and high-end fashion designers clammoring to dress them. Hey, who needs it, right? I can dress myself! AND, I get to eat donuts once in a while, so HA!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

The crazy cat lady...

Ok. I saw that the garbage cans at the neighbor's house were full to overflowing. They just moved in, so like a good neighbor I offered for them to put their garbage into our cans until garbage day.

Today was garbage day.

Their cans did not get taken out to the curb.

People were home.

I should have stated that this was a limited time offer.

And now I am turning into "that" lady- you know, the one with 10 cats who sits at her living room window with binoculars and a notepad charting the comings and goings of the neighbors and when they don't coil up their garden hose or bring back their garbage cans from the curb.

Ok, so, I'm not there yet, but here I am blogging about the neighbor's garbage.

I think I need to get out more. :)

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Out of space and time...

I read an article today about why the 1950's housewife had it right. It was meant to show how the modern woman would be a total alien to the women from the 50's, and how we maybe need to get back to some of that old-fashioned  mentality the women back then had.

I compared myself to the writer's idea of who the 50's housewife was, and was surprised (or maybe not so much) at the lack of differences between myself and the 50's housewife. Does that mean I'm old fashioned? Well, I don't make sure my hair is perfectly done every day, and I don't wear a dress to do housework, and I don't hurry and put on my red lipstick before my husband gets home from work so he'll have a beautifully done-up wife to come home to, but I do have some similarities. Here are just a few of the points I gathered from what I read, and my own take on them:

#1- Nutrition: Women in the 1950's cooked every meal at home, and didn't worry about fat content or how many carbs or how much gluten was in each ingredient. If the meal was hot and homemade it was healthy.

Now, while I do believe we have gained more knowledge since the 50's regarding health and nutrition, and I try to make healthier-by-today's-standards meals, I think they had something there. On average, a hot homemade meal is going to have less fat, more vegetables, and fewer processed ingredients than you will find in any happymeal.  And you can't tell me that a piping hot pan of bubbling homemade macaroni and cheese isn't better than a box of yellow death (AKA- Kraft Mac n' cheese) no matter it's fat content! (We just don't make it every other night!)

#2- Discipline: Women in the 1950's didn't "cater" to their children's every whim. If the kid didn't eat what was served at dinner, they went to bed hungry. If they wanted the latest toy, they did chores and mowed lawns to earn the money.

I believe 1000% in this concept. I have done this in my own home. I'm no short-order cook. I make dinner and everyone eats it, or they don't eat. Period. It's worked for this long, and it works whenever I tend my nieces and nephews, even the pickiest ones. It makes life easier! Don't worry, your kid is NOT going to starve to death. They will eventually learn to eat what they like from what is served.

As for toys, I try to get my son what he wants at Christmas and Birthdays, but not every single little thing he wants. Leave your kids knowing they don't get everything they want when they want it. Don't rush out and buy the latest funny movie on DVD. Don't rush out and get the very latest video game, the coolest electronic gadget. Let them wait, and work for it. My son did yard work for people all last summer to earn $200 to buy himself an ipod touch. I didn't think he'd do it in one summer, but he did! You will be amazed at what your kids can accomplish if you give them the oportunity to do it. Give them chores- without pay. Give them responsibilities- hard ones, like weeding all the gardens in one afternoon. Like mowing the way overgrown spring lawn- in one day. It builds character, and teaches them hard work makes you feel good about yourself, and that's enough reward!

#3- Body image:  The 1950's woman had a very different idea of how a women's body should look than we do today. They still valued being "fit" and "trim", but those words took on very different meanings.

The 1950's woman didn't spend hours at the gym. She didn't worship Jillian Michaels and make herself cry doing hundreds of butt-lifting lunges and ab-killing planks. Women's bodies were softer, curvier. The average pin-up girl would be a plus-size model by today's standards.

Now, this goes back to the nutrition idea, and how we have evolved and learned more about the body's needs nutritionally and physically, but I believe we have also become way too distorted about what "beautiful" means for today's woman. I, personally, do not think women with ripped abs and chizzled arms; a butt you could hurt yourself on- I do not find that beautiful. Or attractive. Or desirable. What are these women doing with their children to get a body like that? They must not be doing much with them!

I think physical exercise is important. You Zumba-moving women, you go with your rockin' self! An hour out of your day to take care of yourself physically is absolutely necessary, I think. (Do I work out for an hour? Uh..... not up to this point in my life. I'll let you know when I do. Don't hold your breath, though!) But I believe in moderation in all things. Women's bodies should be softer then men's. They are the cuddlers, the nurturers, the holders of children with scraped knees and broken hearts. We are the "soft" places to land on a rough day. If we are so consumed with how our own bodies look, what are we telling our little girls, and boys for that matter? What message are we giving out to the world? If you don't spend 2+ hours a day on your body, if you have more than 1% body fat, you are not worth anything? I'm sorry to say there are many, many people who really do feel that way. It's a very sad thing.

While I could go into many more comparisons about neighborliness, religiousness, etc, these were just a few of the more important things I noticed. I think there is a lot we could learn from the 1950's housewife. Just ask your grandmothers!  Well, mine are no longer living, but I did learn a lot from them when I was young. Things such as, don't waste your time blogging when you could be doing something productive. (Ok, they didn't say "blogging", but something to that effect.) So I am going to log off and go bake some cookies. Really! I really am! Tomorrow is Valentine's day, and I'm going to do the old fashioned thing and take my neighbors some cookies. And wear red lipstick.

Monday, February 4, 2013


Sometimes you've just gotta keep your eyes pointed up and keep digging until you see daylight.

I'm still digging.

This is actually a lot how I feel right now! Eerily similar....