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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I'm NO travel agent! (or, How mixing two different personalities can result in difficulty in planning vacations.)

My hubby: grew up in family of 7, not a lot of money, idea of "eating out" was taking your sandwich out on the front porch. Family vacations... didn't happen often.

Me: family of 4 (3 kids and a mom... usually. But this is a whole other story of broken families and step siblings, etc. Not what I'm going in to today.) Ate out every week, sometimes multiple times a week, multiple vacations a year with yearly trips to Yellowstone and Zion, several camping trips, spontaneous trips to Canada and other driveable places.

Now. How do you mesh these two different backgrounds to come up with a great family vacation? Oh, don't get me wrong. Once we're on the road, we have a great time! See, there are no siblings for my son to fight with in the back seat, so the ride is peaceful. We love being together and enjoy all the time to talk and sing and joke around. It is just the planning of it all I despise!

Which is why I have procrastinated the planning of our yearly family trip to Zion. Which is happening very soon. Which is causing me stress. Which may be partly the reason why I made 3 pies last Saturday because I was craving pie. No, I haven't eaten it all. Of course not! But I think I had to feel like I was accomplishing something, since I wasn't getting anywhere with the vacation plans, so I made pies.

My goal today is to get the entire thing booked. If I don't, I may be making more pies. Or worse. Maybe a lasagna, and some chocolate mousse, with sauteed green beans and....
See? This is why I MUST get this vacation planned.... TODAY!!!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Let this be a warning!!!

Dear Mouse,

I made Ratatouille last night. Do you know why? Because it was a message to you. I KNOW you are there. I can hear you. I can see you... sometimes. You are an infestation I will NOT tollerate- like the rats in Ratatouille. (Only they are cute, and they help cook. You did NOT help me cook. You make me nervous, and ornery, and cause me to think destructive thoughts!)

I hope you've noticed the arsenal of traps I have placed along your usual traveling routes. That smokey cheese sure looks good, doesn't it? Mmmmmm... just smell that hot dog sitting in the laundry room, beconing you to come and partake! (Pay no attention to that fluffy white dog trying to eat it. He is harmless.)

Yes, mouse, I have come to the end of my rapidly fraying rope. I will stop at NOTHING to see you exterminated! Incidentally,I have my eye on a cat at the pound, and he looks hungry. VERY hungry.

So tell me, mouse, how would you rather go: quick and painless while enjoying a delicious morsel of cheese? Or slow, and agonizingly, being pawed and toyed with by a starved, matted, razor-sharp toothed cat???? The choice is yours, but die, you will. And soon.

Most sincerely,
The mean hag in the basement who announces herself every time she comes down so she doesn't "happen" upon you accidentally.

p.S. I posted my Ratatouille recipe on my recipe blog to incite a resistance among my peers. People, join with me now! Make Ratatouille in protest!!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Life Lesson # 9,637

Do not, under any circumstances, let your child know that the icky cold you have might possibly be contageous.

Without a doubt, he will wake up the very next morning, if not sooner, and let you know he can't go to school because he has "whatever it is that you had, only worse."

Of course, I am a smart woman. I cannot be taken advantage of so easily. I promptly asked:
"And what is it that you have, exactly?"

"Ummmmm... well, what you had, only worse."

"Which is....?"

"Ummmm.... really contageous."

Will I survive this child??? I often wonder!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

A little diversion from the mouse stalker in my kitchen...

Today I went to El Rancho market....

What? You don't know what El Rancho market is???

It is THE place to score some great authentic mexican food at lunch with my hubby, and as of today- my new FAVORITE place to go get stuff to make green salsa!

18 lbs of tomatillos, 6 lbs of onions, 5 bunches of cilantro, 2 lbs of anaheim peppers, and a few serrano chilis (I'm a gringo, I can't handle the heat, ok?)

and ALL for only.....

$12!!!!! Yes, that's right, twelve dollars! It will make about 24 jars of the deliciousness, and all for only 12 bucks!!!!

True, I couldn't carry on a conversation with anyone in the entire store but my husband, and true, I couldn't read any of the labels on the cans when I was searching for canned chilis....

but so what?! What a screamin' deal!

I just thought it would be more interesting to put here than another story of how I haven't yet caught that ellusive mouse. I should call him The Scarlet Pimpernel, but I think Voldemort is more fitting.

Yay, green salsa!!!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Great Mouse Hunt...

Ok. This mouse KNOWS I am terrified of him. He only shows his face when I'M around. He only makes scratching noises when I'M the only one in the room.

I have a stalker!

He taunts me with his beady little eyes. My husband and son have caught small glimpses of him, and have both fallen in love.

"Oh, can't we keep him?" (and this from my husband, not my son!)

He's been named "Fluffy" for heaven's sake!

I find myself dreaming of ways to obliterate the little vermin. A mote of fire around the fridge? A pot of boiling oil set to tip over the moment he exits his lair? All very effective ideas, I think. However, I can't envision any of them being executed without my whole house going up in flames with him.

I picture a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The crazy old woman is trying to get rid of the mouse and he keeps outsmarting her. She finally looses her mind and sets dynomite to blow at the tiniest touch, but in the end her house is a smoking pile of ashes, and the mouse climbs out of the rubble, eating a piece of cheese.

I fear I am becoming that crazy old woman.

This isn't over yet, though. He got into my closet and scratched the paper wrapper off one of my large food storage cans. No, he can't get in, but he is determined to find a way. It is only a matter of time before he finds his way to the cupboards, and then.... well, then I will HAVE to burn the place down because I cannot abide mice in the cupboards!

Mouse: if you are reading this, and somehow I think you are.... I've got the eyes of a tiger, and I'm ready for the thrill of the fight. Bring it on, little "Fluffy". I'm boiling the oil as we speak!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Day 3: The Great Mouse Show-Down

It's clear by this poor excuse for a blog that life around here isn't very exciting when I post 3 days in a row about a mouse.

But, that is life around here lately... all about a mouse!

Today while I was making breakfast, the dog started scrambling all over the family room floor, sniffing madly. It was obvious he had spotted the mouse and was hot on his trail. I was confident the mouse would NOT get away since I had put a sticky trap along his only obvious escape route.

Remember how the people who built the Titanic said "Not even God can sink this ship"? Ya, pride goeth before the fall. In this case, my pride didn't take into consideration that annoying and disgusting mouse could squeeze through the tiny space between the trap and the garbage can.

So, today the score stands: Mouse=2 Me=0

Then, it had the audacity to sit in the joists above the refridgerator and scrape and scratch while we were all sitting there eating our breakfast as if to say: "Ha ha. You can't catch me you little humans... you and your smug ways eating your french toast and potatoes... you humans think you're so cool." (And yes, I think the mouse has a french accent. It's the only way to read what he was surely thinking.)

My next move: to line the whole opening of the space underneath the refrigerator with traps. I KNOW that's how he's getting in and out. I was thinking maybe making a little ring of fire in front of the fridge, and maybe a moat of hot molten lava... hmmmmm.....

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Update to mice story...

This morning I was cooking breakfast. I went over to the fridge to get out the eggs. I walked back over to the counter. I looked back over by the fridge to make sure the door closed all the way. A little brown mouse scurried out from under the fridge. It hid behind some buckets under the table and then dashed under the couch.

Yes. I was screaming.

We borrowed the neighbor's cat to see if he could get the mouse. He was much more interested in finding a way out than getting the mouse. No, no bacon for you, useless cat!

I went to Home Depot and bought 4 sticky mouse traps. I just don't think I can handle seeing a beheaded mouse in the other kind. My husband promised me he would "take care" of the mouse when it gets stuck in the sticky trap, but I can tall he's not too excited about being a mouse murderer, either.

Either way.... that mouse is going down!!! This house is not big enough for the two of us. (Goodness! I sure hope there's only one. Eeeeek!)

I can't abide a mouse in this house one more day!!!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


I'm sitting in my sewing room pinning something.

From behind me, I hear a "scritch.... scratch.... scurry....."

I lean my head against the back wall.

"Scritch.... scratch.... scritchy scratch...."

I slam on the wall.

It stops.

Later, I am sitting on the couch (unpicking something I sewed... ya, unpicking.) when I hear above my head:

"Scurry... scurry.... scritch... scratch.... scratch...."

I stand up on the couch to listen closer.....

"scratch scratch scratch......"

I slam on the ceiling.

It stops.

I open the cupboards, the closets, the drawers and there is NO sign of mice. We have NEVER had a mouse problem in this house--- EVER!!!!!

I am freaking out, though. Houses don't normally "scritch and scratch" do they? And I'm pretty sure they don't scurry.

How do you get a mouse out of the walls of your house????

I don't want to go downstairs anymore.

I think I'm moving tomorrow.