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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Don't by cheap duct tape!

Summer is a time when I feel like I've Scotch-taped my life together. And it's not even real Scotch tape, it's the cheapo brand you get at the dollar store. Actually, a more fitting tape would be the no-name brand duct tape I bought several months ago at... I think it was actually at the dollar store. It doesn't stick to anything! Duct tape is supposed to be like, every man's solution for saving the world, right? But this duct tape isn't even sticky enough for taping ducts, which is what it is originally designed for.

So, back to my life.

I'm not big on getting kids into so many extra-curricular activities that they don't have time to be kids, so I don't sign my son up for anything when school is on. However, the summer is the complete opposite.

There are NO children my son's age in our neighborhood. Oh, wait... I take that back. There is one kid his age, but his parents won't let him play with my son because I'm a bad mother. ( Due to some incident when my son was 3 and I was painting the basement apartment and he got upstairs and somehow opened the door and went outside and crossed the NOT busy street to say hello to the two ladies chatting. When I noticed he was gone not 3 minutes later I ran out and saw he was with them so I was relieved, only to be yelled at by this woman claiming to be the parent of the year or something, saying she was going to call child services if this happened again... like it happened all the time... and how she had a son his same age who NEVER tried to open the door... ever!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh ya... so my son doesn't have anyone to play with. (Well, there's one little friend he has who is almost 2 years younger but isn't home during the days, or he'd play with him.) So guess who gets to be the entertainer??? Yep, you guessed it.... the playstation! (Ha! I bet you thought I was going to say me, right? Well actually, it IS me, really. He's only allowed to play the PS for an hour a day, tops.)

So, I signed him up for swimming and soccer. I have also done summer camps in the past, but they are so expensive and I want to have a new kitchen this summer.

I am not good at scheduling my time wisely. My original plan this summer (and I even printed it out and everything!) was to have him doing chores, homework and reading in the mornings so I could work out. Then we'd go to swimming lessons, then lunch, then I would sew aprons in the afternoon and try to resurrect my sadly neglected Saucy Frocks business while he played with friends.

Ha ha ha ha!

We seldom get to the homework or reading part because he drags his feet doing chores... I race to shower after my workout, and we try to catch up after lunch on homework and reading... then he doesn't have anyone to play with so I have to play with him, then he plays video games while I fix dinner and that's that.

See how the el-cheapo duct tape comes into play? My life is a series of catching up and cattle-prodding! First thing tomorrow I am going to go buy some REAL duct tape! Seriously.... Oh, and I'm throwing out the stupid printed schedule, too. It only makes me feel guilty and inadequate, and who needs anyjmore reminders? I have my entire life in front of me to do that!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Words of love

me: "A lotion that makes you thin? Whatever! I've been putting lotion on every night for years and look at me!"

my husband: "Just think what you'd look like if you didn't!"

Gee.... thanks babe!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A happy, wet place!

Saturday we had the oportunity to go to Lagoon for my husband's Lagoon day.

Now, I have said this before, but I am like a 10 year old. I LOVE Lagoon!!! We weren't able to go last year and my summer just wasn't the same,(Granted, we did go to Europe, but still....).

When I found out rain was expected for Saturday, I was pretty sad, but we armed ourselves with umbrellas, jackets, and a whole lot of hope.

It rained.

and rained....

and rained..........

We kept our spirits *mostly* high, though. My son was so brave! He went on the white rollercoaster for the first time, then he convinced his dad to take him on the Rocket (which still wakes me up in a cold sweat every once in a while)! He even did one that turns you upside down and holds you there! (No... I did NOT go on these rides, thank you very much!)

We stuck it out the entire day- in the rain!!!! It became cooler, and we became wetter and more miserable. I spent $9 on rain coats for us at the gift shop, and they helped... a little.

Finally, after dinner we were soaked and cold and tired and wet and cold and soaked and tired, so we did a few more rides, bought some cotton candy and came home.

I fixed us some hot chocolate and we watched Muppets Christmas Carol!!! It seemed fitting.

It turned out to be a fun day, despite the rain!

(And we can bounce back for only $9, so we can actually swim when we go back... on a sunny day.... with no rain in sight!)

Yay.... Lagoon!!!!!

Friday, June 19, 2009

"The Young Composer"

I decided with our crazy life right now I would start my son on piano lessons at home. I feel like I'm running him all over town as it is, I would like to not have another thing to take him to. So, I started him on piano lessons.

Come on, now.... even I know enough about the piano to teach him a few basics! I got a beginner book and he picked up on it so quickly! He loves to practice, too! Whenever I say, "Ok... time to do piano...." he says enthusiastically "OK!" and stops whatever he's doing to come! That's... like.... a miracle!

He also fancies himself a composer now. He dreamed up a song (kind of a cool one, actually), very simple- basically playing C's on the keyboard, but then he throws in a 4th before going back to C, and then at the very end he adds a leading tone which makes you kind of go "Oh!" and then it finishes back on C again.

I asked him the title, and he said "I think I'll call it 'The Young Composer' ".

I think that's a perfect title! I love my little guy!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Fatal Attraction...

Ok. So, if you want your son to play with my son, here are a few tips:

What NOT to do:
1) Don't make it an official "play date". I hate the term, I hate the obligation it implies! Play dates are for parents of young children who need some adult interraction while their toddlers drool all over the cars and trucks, staring at the other toddlers doing the same things. Not for 8 year olds!

2) Don't call me and complain that my son had another friend over at the same time as your kid. You know what? Sometimes there are lots of kids here, and as long as they are not fighting, I'm happy! I am not going to make sure your particular child is being "taken care of".

3) Don't, I repeat DO NOT tell me "Next time my son comes over, please make sure there aren't any other kids over." This is MY house!

4) When I say, "Call me next Tuesday and we'll see if we can play that day," what I mean is, I don't know yet if that's a good day or not, let's just see. I don't mean, "Let's make it a set-in-stone playdate and then call me 8 more times that day if I don't answer the phone and tell me you're upset because we had a playdate set and how could I make your son upset by not being here!" K?

5) Don't make the mother of your son's friend completely afraid of you! That's not a very good thing!

That's pretty much it, really. I'm going to make a sign to put on my front door:

"Friends Welcome. Leave Baggage at Home!"

Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm really just a 10 year old girl....

Last night my son pulled out the blendy pens and paper and we colored for hours while we watched "Ratatouille". It totally took me back. I used to color all the time! Last night I colored a picture of a pretty girl puppet. I did swirls and pretty designs all over. I took it up to my husband to show him and he just looked at me like I was a freak! What? Don't you like my pretty picture??? I was hoping he'd hang it up in the hallway with all my son's pictures. :(

I saw a Barbie commercial on T.V. the other day. It made me want a Barbie soooo bad, I got online and looked at all the vintage Barbie stuff you can get now. I used to play with some old Barbies my Grandma had. They were the original 50's and 60's style Barbies like these:

I secretly wondered if there was a way I could buy the Barbies and sneak and play with them. Ha! I could just see my husband walking in on me in the closet playing Barbies! I think he'd have me committed!

I don't want to grow up!!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Politician in training....

"Mom.... thanks for letting me have a day to just do what I want and not have to do chores or homework or reading. You're the best mom ever!"

Ummmm.........I don't recall saying anything about that, but.... Ok. Sure.

Look, as a mom, you pick your battles, and today I feel like being the best mom ever.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

It's not easy being..... responsible!

I just want to read.

It's a rainy day and all I want to do is cuddle up on the couch in a blanket, drink hot chocolate and read.

I have laundry to do, dishes piling up, the treadmill staring me down, about a million other things that are really really needing to be done.

But it's the last day of school, and my son gets to have fun today. I want to have a "last day of school" day as well!

So? I'm going to put in my load of laundry, do my treadmill workout, maybe do the dishes, then I'm going to read. Ok, after I change the laundry to the dryer, run to the store to get stuff to make a cheesecake for my husband's work thing tomorrow, do the dishes so I can have room to make the cheesecake, go pick my son up from school, read his yearbook with him, prepare something to do for Cub Scouts tomorrow night......

When do I get to read, again?????

This adult thing isn't working for me.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


I am so discouraged.

Last night was my first "official" night as Cub Scout Den Mother. Oh, didn't I tell you? Ya, I'm the new den mother, or den "leader", as my son likes to correct me.

I was so prepared! I baked cupcakes, frosted them, and put sprinkles on them. I picked up some cool flame printed fabric and made beanbags. I got some tri-fold presentation board at Walmart and we learned about cooperation and team work. Then they each designed their own bean bag game on their boards and I cut out the holes. I had intended for them to actually decorate their boards, but after I cut out the holes what did they end up doing?

Throwing their bean bags at eachother in the gym as hard as they could. Boards got left behind and forgotten in the other room.

Oh. And I found out it just isn't cool for mom's to try to play, too. There were 2 scouts against one, so I offered to get in on the action. Ok, so I may not be able to throw very well, but I tried. I found I must have an invisible forcefield around me, though. No one dared hit me with a bean bag. In fact, no one even tried. I quickly realized, who wants to play beanbags with some old leader??? Duh!

I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to relate to boys! Yes, I have a boy, but he's different! He likes to help me cook, and actually asked me to teach him how to sew his own beanbags.

I walked past the room with all the young women in it last night to get a drink. They were planning a video they have to make, and I soooooo wanted to do that! I had so many good ideas when I found out that's what they were going to have to do for Youth Conference, then I was yanked away- plucked in the spring of my.... well, whatever!

I came home and cried last night. I had a good raport with the girls in young women. These boys? Not so much. I know, I know. You'll say, it'll come. Just wait and see.

Sorry, but have boys changed in the entire history of the world? No, they will always be loud, rambunctious, sweaty, boyish... boys! And I am not cut out for this!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I'm going to pull my hair out!!!!

How did I get such a head-strong and stubborn kid???? It can't possibly have come from me!!!!

"Bud, why don't you do your class presentation for me? It will be good practice, and I get to see how it goes."

(rolls eyes very dramatically)
"Mooooommmmmmmmm...... I don't neeeeeed to practice. I already know it."

"Well, I don't. And I was at Kinko's late last night laminating your pass out cards." (which, for 3 days he insisted he didn't need until 9:00 last night when he finally decided it would be a good idea.)"So the least you can do is show me your presentation!"

"O.K..fine! How to make a friend. You say Hi, tell em your name and that's it."

"That's all you're going to say to them? Aren't you going to start by saying, 'Hello. Today I'm going to teach you how to make a friend'?"

(looks at me like I'm a freakishly annoying parent who doesn't get "it")
"Mom. Come on.... they're my friends. I don't speak to my friends like that."

"Did you know I took a class in college about how to do presentations, and I might know how to do it?"

"Mom... (more patronizing looks), I'm not IN college. I'm in the 2nd grade. We don't do that stuff here!"

Ok, kid. Good luck with your freaking presentation then! Smarty Pants!

Monday, June 1, 2009

The rest of my hair is now grey!

I had the oportunity of being able to teach the 8-11 year old girls in our ward how to cook a meal for their families on Friday night.

Ummmm........ can I just say, WHAT A CHALLENGE??????

Now, I love cooking. I even love teaching other people how to cook. Keeping an eye on 12 young girls who have never used a sharp knife a day in their life to slice fruits and vegetables thinly and evenly without chopping off their fingers in a tight space while some are running around brimming with energy, completely oblivious to the time crunch we are in to get dinner made for 60 people in under 2 hours and then having to suddenly relocate the entire dinner over to the church because it looks like it might rain and there isn't room for 60 people in the house???? Now, that is a different story altogether!

Actually, the girls were really cute, and seemed to enjoy preparing the meal. They were very obedient and did exactly (well, almost exactly) what I told them to do. There were only 2 minor injuries, and we were pretty great for time. The only thing that threw us off a bit was having to move everything over to the church. Otherwise, we would have made it.

The food turned out great, though. The families seemed pleased, and the girls were very proud of themselves. I collapsed into bed completely exhausted when I finally got home after 9, but I think the dinner was a success.

Some things to remember for the future:
-Start and end it all at the church. The more counter space, the better.
-Have a few more grownups supervising- 12 knife-wielding young girls is not encouraging.
-Take 4 ibuprofin BEFORE it starts
-Take up drinking the afternoon of the activity. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, right?