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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008....

Hmmmmm..... I approach the year's end/ new year with bitter-sweet feelings. I am always conflicted this time of year. First, I HATE making resolutions, but somehow always find myself doing it anyway. My hate stems from the unspoken and sometimes loudly spoken expectations of others telling me "You MUST make new year resolutions", so I do, and then so VERY OFTEN fall flat on my face when trying to actually carry them out.

Secondly, I don't like the unknown. I don't like not knowing what the next 365 days holds. I'm not big on surprises. Ok, that's not true, I LOVE surprises, but I am not good at waiting. If I know I am going to get a surprise, I want it NOW. Not too far off from the bratty girl in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- "Don't care how... I want it NOW!" At least I own up to it, right? So, the future is not my favorite place to look. I am a very much "live in the present" kind of person. I'm always trying to find a good reason to have a little party, or do something fun to celebrate the NOW.

Thirdly, I am not one to look back, either. (Again... I live in the Now.) I don't like looking back on my failed resolutions, hopes that never came to fruition, decisions I could have made differently. So seeing that a whole year has gone by and I can probably count on 8 fingers the number of times I actually made it to the gym when I vowed I'd go at least 4 times a week... well, you can see why I don't like to look back. I'm not saying I have only regrets, or that nothing good happened in 2008- that's not it at all! But in looking back, I tend to see the bad along with the good, I don't like it, so tend not to look back at all.

Of course, there is some good that goes along with New Year's celebrations. Life always hands you surprises, and you never know what awesome thing is coming your way- well, that is a pretty cool thing. There is a really good reason to party, because everyone else in the world is, so I can pretty much justify it to my husband as a good reason. The realization that many of the fears and worries I had about the unknown at the onset of 2008 never came to pass is also a positive thing. And that the struggles I had in 2008 can be left in 2008 forever, that is also a good feeling.

So, I am going to try something new. I am going to put down something for each letter in HAPPY NEW YEAR- something that happened, or something I hope will happen in the coming year.

H- hope to have a baby
A- apron business, started in Feb. 2008 and plan to grow in coming year
P- Piano, get my son in lessons in 2009
P- Practice my singing more in 2009
Y- Young Women Beehive Advisor in 2008, love it!

N- Nappy- needs shots again in March (just a reminder!)
E- Europe trip last June... so fun!
W- Windows, New in the upstairs! Yay!

Y- Yell at my family less
E- eat more fruits and veggies
A- attempt to renovate upstairs kitchen in 2009
R- Recital, hope to attempt a vocal recital for family and friends this year.

Well, I can't stop the ball rolling, so 2009.... come what may, I am ready for you. Bring it on! (But be gentle with me!)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Santa Knows....

Santa knows something I don't know.

Santa knows that come the holidays, I ALWAYS over-do it and become quite frazzled.

Santa knows that I have spend hours upon hours shopping for the perfect gifts, baking the perfect neighbor treats, planning the spiritual Young Women lesson that will make them all cry, cleaning the house so it looks pretty and nice for Santa to come, worrying over did I go out of the Christmas budget AGAIN....

Santa knows these things.

That's why, on Christmas morning, he sends me on a fun scavenger hunt... EVERY Christmas... where I find pretty smelling lotions and decadent body washes along the way with clues attached. He leads me out into the snow, down to the basement, behind toilets, under mattresses, just to make the experience more enjoyable.

And this year he gave me a gift card so I could go indulge myself at the mall of my choice, with specific instructions to "only come back with girly stuff". (Santa knows I like to buy my guys stuff.)

This year, Santa knew I needed some quiet time to myself after nursing a sick child the week before Christmas trapping me inside for 4 days, so he gave my son a new Playstation 2 (to replace our broken one) and 3 new games to keep him occupied. His parents were a little concerned at all the gaming that would be taking place over the next week, but Santa knew.....

he knew I would need him to be out of my hair for a while!

So, do I feel like a horrible mother for letting my son play video games for hours on end? Ummmmm.......... not really! It's Christmas, for Heaven's sake! Let the kid have some fun! Let the mom enjoy some quiet time!

Thanks, Santa. I really needed the lotions and perfumes, and my new "Bleak House" DVD, and some quiet time.

Santa Always Knows!!!!!!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Not a normal family...

I don't know about everyone else, but when I was a kid, I couldn't wait to wake up and see what Santa brought. My sister and I would wake up around 3 AM and talk and play Barbies until we were allowed to holler to my mom "Is it time to get up yet?". That was usually around 6 AM. We'd be so excited, we couldn't sleep!

My house now on Christmas morning: I lay awake in bed from 4 AM until about 8 or 8:30 when I finally can't stand it anymore. I get up and go wake up the kid, then the husband so we can finally open presents.

What's wrong with my family???? Why don't they wake up extra early and can't wait? Why is it that every Christmas since my kid was born he sleeps in until I wake him up, and he isn't chomping at the bit to go see what Santa brought???

My family isn't NORMAL!!!!

I need my sister to come sleep over and play Barbies with me until they wake up!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

OCHTD.... Obsessive Compulsive Holiday Treat Disorder

I am freaking busy!!!!! So WHY did I spend 3 hours last night doing this???????

Malnutrition and the Tutu monster

The holidays are not the best time for good nutrition, you know what I mean? People constantly bringing over treats, being so busy making them yourself you don't have time to cook so you throw a frozen pizza in the oven, shopping for presents all day long you stop to grab a $.99 burrito, you know.

Apparently my son is feeling the effects of his holiday malnutrition. Last night, after eating 3/4 of a frozen Red Baron pizza, he came downstairs with a handfull of dogfood.

"Why do you have dog food in your hand? You know Nappy won't eat it that way. Go back and put it in his bowl."

"It's not for him."

"Ummm... ok. Why do you have dogfood in your hand?"

"Grandpa says dog food has lots of fiber."


He pops a piece into his mouth and eats it!

"Gross!" I said. Then, curiosity got me, "How does it taste?"

"Ummmmm...... like dog food."

and he proceeds to eat the rest like popcorn!

Weird kid! Oh, follow up to yesterday's post. He invited his friend over to play, and a few minutes later he came in looking like this:

Who are this kid's parents, anyway???

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Why don't I have girls??????

I just had to post these pictures of the CUTEST tutu's EVER!!!!!!! I made them, and now I don't want to part with them. *sniff* My son has other opinions, though. I made him try one on just to see if it would fit the girl I made it for, and he was less than thrilled! I had to promise him I wouldn't tell any of his friends!!!!

Here they are!!!!

And the back have cute contrasting colors and bows!!!!

Christmas progress report....

I am very much a "list" person, this is the only way I can be remotely organized, so I decided to post the items I had to get done yesterday and check them off as I go. I guess this is really more for myself than any of you. I mean, how exciting is it for you to read about my "to do" list?

crochet several scarves and hats: I have done one scarf and hat, but have decided to reduce the items to 2, not 6 as originally planned.

make a robe and pajamas: pajamas are done!

make 3 different kinds of fudge to take to neighbors: Finished! Yay!!!

finish 2 aprons: finished one so far!

somehow sneak off to the store to get the stocking stuffers- done! Yay!!!!

shorten the sleeves on a dress shirt, which I've never done and am totally freaked out to do...

make a fruit cake

get stockings out of the attic

clean house from top to bottom

bathe the dog (this takes 2 whole hours, by the way!)

I'd better get crackin'!

Monday, December 22, 2008

I'm not stressing one bit!

Ok, it's Christmas.

3 days until Christmas, to be exact.

I do this every year... decide to make handmade stuff, and then get so swamped I can't even approach the thought of working on it until 3 days before Christmas.

I think I just do better under a short deadline.

My church talks have always been inspired at the last minute. OH, I mull over ideas for weeks at a time, but the actual sitting down and writing it out usually happens the night before in a stream of non-stop inspiration. That's how it has always been.

I think I may be one of those people that thrives on stress. Ok, that's not entirely true, I actually break out in zits, eat only m&m peanuts, and have all sorts of tummy troubles when I am under prolonged stress- I wouldn't exactly call that thriving. But, I think my brain takes things up a notch when I am under short durations of stress.

So, this week I should be really alert and flowing with inspiration and determination. You see, I have only 3 days..... 3.... to complete:

crochet several scarves and hats

make pajamas

make a robe

shorten the sleeves on a dress shirt, which I've never done and am totally freaked out to do...

somehow sneak off to the store to get the stocking stuffers

make a fruit cake

make 3 different kinds of fudge to take to neighbors (fudge must be perfect, or I can't dare to let the outside world taste it!)

get stockings out of the attic

clean house from top to bottom

entertain my son who is already going stir-crazy from being sick for 4 days last week and being couped up in the house all that time.

bathe the dog (this takes 2 whole hours, by the way!)

finish 2 aprons (ok, start and finish one, and just finish another one)

Oooooohhhh...... you know what, this list is way to long! I can't even bear to finish it. I think I'll just curl up in bed with a good book and let Christmas pass me by!

Did I mention there are only 3 days until Christmas???????

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Time to refinance your home NOW!!!!!

I promised my husband I would put a plug in for him, since he's not the type of guy to just put himself out there and do it.


Interest rates are at a 40 year low right now! In fact, they dipped down to 4.3% for a while today, and are hovering around 4.8% for a 30 year loan which was unheard of!

What does this mean for you? It means, TIME TO REFINANCE!!!!

Speaking as his loving wife, My husband is honest, ethical, and will give you the absolute best deal! This isn't the time to dilly dally, though. IF you don't want to save a few hundred dollars a month, then don't call. If you do, then call my sweet husband TODAY!!!!!! He'll get your rate locked in for you, and get you on the road to a better interest rate and a lower mortgage payment!

This isn't a ploy to pay off our Christmas presents! Believe me! My husband got into this business because he truly loves to help people. If you know him at all, you know he is just that kind of guy.

Ok, that's enough of that. It's up to you whether you want to save money or not. There's no harm in calling- he'll crunch the numbers and tell you in minutes what you could save. What is there to lose?
Call him today! 801-205-7426

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The saddest story ever told...

I am a lipstick fanatic! It's true... I can totally forget to comb my hair, but if I leave the house without lipstick on, I can't function.(I never used to forget to comb my hair, though. In college, I was a fanatic about my hair being perfect and my nails colored to match my outfit. I was even late to class once because my nails totally clashed with a sweater I had put on. I really wanted to wear the sweater, so I redid my nails. Well, I had to catch a husband, didn't I?) Ok, back to the lips. I keep some in the car, in my purse, by my front door, my bedroom, and the bathroom. My lips scream out in panic when I don't put it on. Sometimes, when I'm in my pajamas, I catch a glimpse of my naked lips in the mirror and at least put on tinted lip gloss. So, you can see my problem when I realized I was almost out of my favorite lipstic- the stuff I wear religiously every single day.

I got online to order some more of my favorite lipstick in the world. It was the perfect everyday shade- not too pink, not too brown, not too dark- just right. I almost cried when I first put it on- it was the most perfect lipstick in the whole wide world, and I had it! Much to my dismay, when I got online, I found it had been discontinued- cancelled! What about me? I asked in horror?

I rallied a few moments later, and proceeded to order some other promising shades, similar to my favored shade, and anxiously awaited their arrival, as though Santa was bringing it himself! I checked the shipping tracker every day, several times a day, to see it's progress across the country to my little home. Finally, yesterday, it came! I wasn't here when it arrived- ironically I was at the post office- but when I got home, there it was: the cute little box full of liplicious goodness.

My fingers trembled as I carefully opened the package. My pulse quickened as I removed the bubble wrap and brochures. I began to panic a bit when I got closer to the bottom and hadn't yet found the treasures within, but my fears were soon put to rest as I removed a bundle of bubble wrap with the little tubes inside.

I fumbled trying to remove the protective plastic outer wrapping from each tube. Oh, Rosewine! I have been looking forward to our meeting... Oh, and Terracotta- how divine you will look with my green shirt...

I hastilly removed the lid from Rosewine and carefully smoothed the stick up over the contours of my arched lip, and down around my lower lip. It glided on like melting butter over warm rolls. Suddenly, my stomach lurched- What?! No... No, it can't be! Quickly, I grabbed a tissue and wiped it off. Desperately, I grabbed the Terracotta and tugged the lid off, smearing it over my lips in a much less careful way. No no no no no no.... I repeated. No! It can't be! I compared the two colors side by side, one was a bit more pink than the other, but both very similar, and both made me look like a 90 year old corpse in a mortuary all done up for her funeral.

I was devastated. I cleared the nasty thought from my head and reapplied the lipstick. Maybe I was looking at it wrong. I turned my head from side to side. No use, there was the corpse looking back at me in "funeral pink" lipstick.

Hopelessly I replaces the lids, slowly wrapped them back in the bubble wrap, placed them in the box, and sealed their fate and mine with strapping tape. I felt closer to the dad in A Christmas Story when the Bumpus hounds sneak into the kitchen and ravage the much anticipated turkey, leaving him weeping and desolate on the floor, clutching the last remaining wing. My hopes of gloriously smooth and perfectly tinted lips dashed to pieces.

I will venture to the drug store today to try to salvage what is left, if anything, of my self esteem. I probably won't comb my hair, though.

Sniff.... sniff....

Monday, December 15, 2008

Can you FEEL the Christmas joy???

Boy, am I in the Christmas spirit or what?

I finished my craft boutique show on Saturday, and was GLAD to be done! I had to drive in a terrible snow storm to get there, my stuff was clear down in the theater room of the basement, it was hot, and hardly anyone came through! Oh, a woman doing people's toe-nails in the other room had stolen my pink waste basked I put by my display for people to put their hangers or messed-up entry forms in. She just dumped all my hangers and stuff out onto the floor so she could borrow it to put her stinky, dirty foot garbage in! I couldn't believe it! She just giggled and said, "Oh, I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your garbage can. People were putting all that stuff in it and I figured I'd just use it for my garbage." There was no, "Do you mind if I borrow this?" or "I'm sorry for dumping all your stuff out onto the floor in front of all your pretty aprons, messing up your display so I could steal your pretty pink waste basket!"

The next morning when I went back, she had replaced the garbage can WITH all her crap still in it- and mine sitting on the floor next to it. Gee... thanks, lady! I hid my basket behind my stuff so she couldn't walk off with it again. I couldn't help but notice the towel she had draped over the foot rest she had her customers use to get their feet done. It was dirty, and had glitter all over it from the previous customers. She didn't even change the towel between customers? Gross! I was going to suggest to her that she change it, but she didn't have any customers on Saturday, so everyone's feet were saved from sharing fungus!

Did I mention I felt like CRAP on Saturday? Ya, stuffy nose, sore throat, sinus headache, deep chest cough... So, all in all, the craft show was NOT a screaming success. Oh, I did sell all my Twilight aprons, but that was IT!

Ok... breathe.... I can now focus on getting my house in order for Christmas. Today's list includes: dishes, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, loads and loads and loads of laundry, sewing special apron orders, going to post office, buying a PS2 for the little kiddle, and getting the guest room ready for guests this week. Did I forget anything?

Oh... I can already feel the headache coming on! Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 12, 2008

I feel violated...

We were burgled last night.

It's never a good feeling when you walk up to your door to unlock it, only to find it is unlocked, and you KNOW you locked it... AND turned on the alarm.

Someone came into our house and graffitied our couch! That's right, there were pictures all over it...

ok, cute, darling, irresistable pictures of my nieces and nephew, in matted frames.

Ok, so it was my brother-in-law.

Lucky for him he wasn't here when I got home becuase I would have pulled out all my Kung Fu moves on him. He would have been defenseless against my Woo Shi Fingerhold!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My angel...

I am sick.

I was sick on Sunday, and a little bit on Monday, but thought I was feeling better. Today, after moving all my furniture around, and inhaling large amounts of dust, I feel really crappy!

I have a fever. And my body aches all over.

My son tried to help.

He said, "Mom... you don't really want to cook tonight, do you. " (not a question.)

"no. not really. " (cough.... cough)

"Well, why don't we go out to dinner? I'll pay!"

I wanted to cry. As much as I would have loved to not have to cook tonight, I couldn't allow my little son to pay for our dinner, (which would have been 79 cent burgers from Arctic Circle with the money he's got)! However, the words warmed me all over! Thanks, Buddy!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

When no one's around...

I spend a good part of my day completely alone. My son is at school from 8:30 to 3:15-ish, depending on when he moseys on home, so I am alone for about 7 hours.

I spend much of the time picking up after the two men in my life, and sewing aprons, running errands, answering email, etc, but it is also the time I get to do stuff I don't normally do when others are around.

What? What are those things you do, you say? Well, here are a few:

I sing. It's true, I don't sing much when the family is home. My son says it hurts his head, and- well, things just get crazy when they are home. So, my alone time is the time I turn up the bluegrass music, or the musical sound tracks, or the celtic music and sing at the top of my lungs! I love it! My dog howls when I do it, but I just imagine he's singing along.

Read. Sometimes in the afternoon, about an hour before my kid gets home, I like to relax and read a book. I've seen a few blogs list the books by their bedside. Here is a good place to do it:

Twilight... of course.
Life and Death in Shanghai (my friend let me borrow it- it's very interestig!)
About 8 different historical romances, usually paperback.
A couple books by Maeve Binchy
my journal

(What? No scriptures, you ask? Those are on my husband's side right now.)

I talk to myself... CONSTANTLY! But only when no one is around. Ok, the other day my husband was home from work, sick, and he caught me talking to myself. I talk through the dishes, vaccuuming, dusting, etc. It helps me get through it all. If I don't do this, the voices just build up in my head and I get bad headaches! This way, I can let them out a bit at a time. (no, I don't need a straight jacket!) I used to do my homework outloud when I was young, it helped me stay on task and get it done. I think this is the same idea.

That's pretty much it. Oh, and I NEVER wear shoes in the house. I hate wearing shoes! I'm not one of those picky people that makes you take your shoes off when you come into my home, but I personally kick them off the second I get in the house! My feet need their freedom to be who they want to be! It bugs my husband, but he bugs me when he keeps his shoes on, so I guess we're even. He has pretty much accepted the fact that I'm a little nutty, anyway. Especially now that he knows I talk to myself!

Now you know what I do when no one's around! (oh, did I mention my neighbor does, too? Ya, he caught me singing at the top of my lungs one day when the back door was open. I was pretty embarrased!)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

A Happy and Sensible Holiday Message For You All...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Twilight Aprons

I just had to post the aprons I made. If you know someone who loves Twilight, this would make a GREAT Christmas gift!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

O Christmas Tree...

I have always wanted a pretty THEME tree for my living room. You know, the one that doesn't get all the kid's homemade ornaments hung haphazzardly on it, or the ornaments given by loving neighbors that don't match a single thing in your house? I love my traditional tree that does sort of have a theme, (sailboats and lighthouses) but also has many mismatched ornaments as well. It is the tree that holds all the memories, the ones you talk about as you put up all the ornaments.

However, this year, I FINALLY got my theme tree! Ok, it's not the dream theme tree, but I am quite pleased with how it turned out. I got the ornaments at next to nothing, and love it! My little guy helped me decorate it, and for once I didn't have to rearrange all the ornaments he had put up- he actually got the concept of spacing and arranging! (Should I be worried?)

Anyway, here is my theme- "The Heavens", with stars and angels! Yay for Christmas Trees!!!!!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bad, Stinking, Dumb Day!

Today is just a crummy day.

Yesterday was not too great, either, but I put up a Christmas tree in our living room and it looks really cute, so that- at least- was good.

Today- just a crummy, bad, stinky day.

That is all.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Inevitable Post

It was meant to be.

I toyed with the thought of possibly NOT posting about it. I am an adult, and have much more pressing matters in my life.

But... I am also a dreamer, an imaginative daydreamer who loves to remain young at heart, and still thinks first kisses are the height of romance- that thinking about things that aren't real and couldn't possibly happen are more gratifying than dwelling on the daily, mundane rituals of a stay- at- home mom.

So, I decided to write the inevitable post- you know, the one about Twilight the Movie!

So, here it goes.

I went and saw Twilight yesterday with my friend. It was the middle of the day, my son was in school, I had laundry to do, dishes in the sink, shopping, vacuuming, you name it, but I chose to go see a movie about a girl in high school who falls in love with a vampire. Yes, I did it, and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Although I liked the film overall, I was sadly dissappointed that it wasn't as good as it could have been. I know nothing can meet the expectations of my imagination, but I have seen better done movies. The director did not do it justice, and I hope they get a different one for the next film. Yes, I do hope they make the rest of the books into movies. I could watch Robert Pattinson all day long. And I thought the casting of the other characters was pretty spot-on, as well.

But, this post is NOT about the movie, so much as it is about the need for us to step out of our "adult" roles once in a while, and that it is ok for us to just be a kid... at heart, of course.

As a mom, I am forced to view many cartoonish and childish movies with my son- movies I would NEVER have chosen to go to if I didn't have a kid. However, I never would have been introduced to Nemo, The Incredibles (which I had to keep telling my son to just "hold it" because I didn't want to miss anything!),or Sky High- a fantastically funny movie with a great soundtrack, you all should watch it!

I didn't sit through those movies saying, This couldn't really happen, fish don't talk like that. Or, No one is that strong and who walks around in their super hero suit anyway? I enjoyed the wonderful world of make-believe with my son, and I left happy and entertained!

So, what's wrong with thinking a vampire is the dream catch in a book you are reading- what's wrong with quickly doing the dinner dishes so you can sneak a few pages of Twilight in to see if Bella really does get the Vampire? What's wrong with walking into the theater proudly, as a 30-something-ish woman, and waiting with a quickened pulse for the beautiful Edward to make his appearance on the huge screen? Do I really think he exists? Of course not- dirty dishes exist, and un-swept floors, and dinner that needs to be made! That is reality, folks, and I have enough of that! I need an escape! I need a place I can go in my mind where the non-human eating vampire gets the girl, and I can imagine it could happen!

To conclude, I bring up an interview I saw on the Today Show. Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen was on, and hundreds of girls were screaming at him. He went over to one and asked her what is so great about Edward- why were they going so crazy over these books? The poor teenage girls didn't have the maturity and eloquence to say why- they just giggled and said, "because he's soooooo fine!" while they drooled over Pattinson. I, however, had the answer. Because I am an adult, and have life lessons behind me, I knew- the answer is that Edward embodies the steadfast and dedicated comittment that all women long for. He is unswayed in his devotion to his woman, and because he is imortal, his love for her will never die, just as he'll never die. Every woman wants that kind of devotion- and the fact that he is super-fine doesn't hurt, either.

So, if you've made it this far, you've reached the end! Go ahead, ladies, take a break from reality and go see "Twilight", then feel free to sigh like a teenage girl at the end!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Free Apron Giveaway!!!!

If you are longing for a Saucy Frock of your own, go straight to Smitten Blog Designs and enter to win one NOW!!!!!

There are other giveaways as well, so be sure to check out all the giveaway postings, and enter!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

P.S. to last posting...

Ok. I must take this moment to clear my husband's good name (which I will NOT mention here for his own privacy! And the fact that he would KILL me if I did, even though he has never read my blog in the 9 months since I started posting.)

So, I am here to say that my dear, sweet, kind, funny, loving hubby did NOT complain about the gift card. It was solely MY doing. I take all selfish responsibility on my own head!

I have no intent to hurt anyone's feelings. If you went out and got your entire family 7-11 gift cards for Christmas this year, great! I am just laughing because there's really NOTHING we would be getting at 7-eleven, except maybe gas, but there isn't one with a gas station anywhere around here. Oh, I guess we could buy a bunch of their burritos and get gas that way. (sorry- it's late.)

Anyway, don't reign evil thoughts onto my hubby's head. They can all be directed at me. I don't get as hurt by evil thoughts, anyway. I wear a special tin foil helmet to bed so evil thoughts don't get into my dreams!

Ungrateful child that I am!

Call me picky, ungrateful, whatever. My husband works 10 and 12 hour days at work, busting his butt to do his best for his company and bring a decent paycheck home. All he gets in return is emails saying, "Must work harder. Must sacrifice your families for the company so boss can make more money- it's your duty!"

So, I was very happy to hear that his supervisor was finally going to offer an incentive for all the extra hours put in. "It's about time", is what I said!

So, am I terrible for thinking the $50 gift card he received is, well, tacky?

Oh, did I mention it is a gift card to 7-eleven?????????

"Yes, I'd like 25 hot dogs please.....Oh, and can you throw in a few slurpees? "

Maybe his work is trying to kill off their dedicated employees, rather than try to find a good reason to fire them. That way they don't have to pay unemployment!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Goal setting....

Setting goals is not my forte. Either they are so far fetched they are completely unattainable, or they are so mediocre there's no point.

Yesterday, I thoguht I'd start with some simple goals- you know, some basic things to drive me to do a bit more, to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. They were:

1)Finish the laundry- meaning, all washed, folded, put away before hubby gets home

2)Wash the couch cover and pillow covers, dry, and put back on couch

3)Make 2 aprons

These were, what seemed at the time, very reasonable goals. When I told my husband what they were, he looked at me as though to say, "ok.... and then what else are you going to do?" I couldn't blame him, these weren't all day jobs.

At the end of the day, the laundry was NOT done, the couch cover was still in the washer, I hadn't even gotten downstairs at all to sew, and my kitchen was a bit of a mess. What did I do all day?????

I don't know, but it sure took all day to do it! So much for reaching my goals. Today, my goal is:

1) do something

I think I will feel better about myself when I can honestly say I reached my goal!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's West Side Story in my dreams!

I had the strangest dream last night. Ok, I have strange dreams EVERY night, but last night's was REALLY strange.

In my dream, everyone at my husband's work decided to resolve their inner-office disputes and disagreements by knife fight! That's right, if things get out of control and people are unable to agree on something, bring out the knives!

Without going into too much detail, so as not to have it all confirmed in your minds that I definitely need to be committed, I will just say, the knife fight solution was a very effective one! People got their anger out very quickly, no one died, and everyone laughed about it as they were being wheeled to the ambulances! True, some feelings were hurt, "How could you stab me in the heart? I thought we were friends!" but overall, it was very effective.

I am now deeply disturbed by my ability to dream something so violent! I told my husband and son about it and they weren't surprised. What? My son even said, shrugging his shoulders, "Well... it makes sense. Mom is a little twisted!" (or something to that affect- I don't remember the exact quote, I was too horrified that they weren't surprised.)

I guess it was a nice change from my usual dreams that I am wandering the halls of high school looking for the math class on finals day that I never once attended, only to realize I am not wearing anything on the bottom! At least a knife fight gives you power- not utter humiliation- and everyone can laugh about it in the end!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sick as a dog....

No- it isn't me. I'm not sick as a dog. My dog was sick all night long! I noticed he was drinking a lot of water- like 2 big bowls full of water, right before bed. I thought, "Great, he'll want to get up in an hour to pee." so I stayed up.

Sure enough, the dog was itching to get out about an hour later. But, then he came back in and drank and drank and drank some more. I knew something was wrong. I decided I'd better keep an eye on him for longer- make sure he doesn't puke all over the living room floor. Sure enough, he had to go back out again.

This happened over and over and over last night. He would go out and gorge himself on grass- which I read dogs do to make themselves throw up sometimes. Sure enough, he'd get sick, and then do it all over again.

Needless to say, I spent the night in the not-too-uncomfortable guest bed so I didn't wake up my hubby with my getting up so much.

I would have left him out all night, but he gets really wheezy in the cold weather and has a hard time breathing. I thought how I would feel if I was sick and made to stay outside all night, so I just took care of him.

My hubby thinks I'm ridiculous for going to such lengths to take care of a my sick dog. Hint: don't tell your wife her actions are ridiculous after she's had about 2 hours of sleep that night. Not a good idea!

Boring post??? yes, but at least the dog is feeling better. Now, if I could just train him to take care of me!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

De Junk room now open!!!!

Ok. I have been trying to de-junk my house. I have lots of "stuff" that I really don't need or use anymore, but I can never manage to make it to the DI. So, I have an idea:

Why not get rid of it on a blog? I will post items I am getting rid of on If you want it, it's yours!!!! And, if you have something you want to get rid of, feel free to do so on this site!!!!

I mean, how often have you said, "Man, I wish I had a fish aquarium, but I don't want to go pay a load of money for a new one... surely somebody's gotta have one lying around somewhere...."

Well, Guess what? I do!!!!

It'll be kind of like a mini Craig's list- but for neighbors and close friends. If you are in need of something, just ask if anyone has it, and see what happens.

So, the De-junk room doors are now open!!!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Parenting tips from your children?

My son, as many children do, has a very difficult time understand what it means to hurry. You say, "Hurry up, you have to leave in 2 minutes", and the pace of his eating stays exactly the same. You say, "Go brush your teeth lightening fast- the bell's going to ring," and he stares at you as though you are speaking another language. "I know she's trying to tell me something, but what....".

So, this morning, as he was doing his best impression of a tortoise eating his banana pancakes, his dad said, "Bud... you'd better hurry up. You've gotta go!" The fork was either moving so quickly it looked like it wasn't moving at all, or it really wasn't moving at all. Dad said, "Did you just do anything different when I said to hurry up?" He shook his head no.


He was quickly hastened into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and told he had exactly 1 minute to do so. He knows how long a minute is. He has to read for 20 minutes every day, and watches the clock like a hawk to make sure he doesn't go over that 20 minutes by one second- he KNOWS how long a minute is! But, does he hurry?

Needless to say, both parents were quite frustrated by his slow pace and became quite short with him. AS he was rushed out the door for school, he turned, and in a teary voice said... "That's not how you teach your child to hurry."

I'll be looking forward to hearing how he thinks you should teach your child to hurry. I guess we've been doing it wrong all along. Parents, I will publish his words of wisdom so we can all stop being frustrated with trying to get our kids to hurry! Who knew we've been doing it wrong all these years!

Maybe I'll ask him how to teach your kids to want to do their chores, as well. Apparently my way isn't right, either.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Department- of -Motor- Vehicles-a-phobe

I have an illness. It was finally confirmed yesterday. I know this because the last time I was in the same situation, I faced the exact same symptoms and side-effects. What am I talking about?

Department- of -Motor- Vehicles Phobia, or DMV-a-phobe, for short.

It happens when one is forced to sit in close proximity to strangers of all backgrounds and questionable hygiene standards on hard black plastic chairs while waiting for your number to be called at the DMV, which usually takes about 2 hours.

The symptoms: quickened heart rate- usually irregular, some chest pains, fear of breathing in, dizziness (usually caused by not breathing), the constant need to wash hands with hand sanitizer, shifty eyes, and nervous jerking away from anything that moves.

It all started about a year and a half ago. I had to go to the DMV for a new registration for my hubby's car. (the original had been lost.) Sitting there among the... how shall I put this... well, let's just ask, why would a prostitute need a car, can't she just hitch a ride, and get paid at the same time? Why would a homeless man be needing to renew his vehicle registration? Is Salt Lake City the only place for people who don't speak English to get their cars registered? These are questions I asked myself as I sat there packed like a sardine in a sea of loud, smelly, coughing, hacking, bizarre rash scratching , itchy-headed people. Oh, and I had forgotten a book to read!

The man next to me reeked of tobacco and cheap Rite-aid aftershave, wearing a very squeaky "leather" jacket. He kept bouncing his left knee at the speed of light and making comments like, "Wow. This is ridiculous!" or "I've got somewhere to be, I can't just be sitting here!" Hmmmm..... unlike the rest of us, you mean? I wanted to whack his knee and tell him to chill out!

The woman on the other side of me had either been crying non-stop since she got there, or had some weepy-eye problem, because she kept dabbing at her eye with a tissue. She also had some severe eczema or something, because her hands were all rashy and dry looking. I had recently seen a show about a woman who's brain fluid was leaking out of her eyes and nose, and thought of her. I tried not to make any physical contact with either of them, so I sat with my shoulders squeezed in to my chest, and my hands in my lap, trying not to breathe.

A kid with a sticky sucker and incredibly dirty face came up to me and offered me some soggy, dirty fishy crackers. No thank you, but go tell your mom to blow your nose.

The last straw was right before my number came up- 2 1/4 hours later. I looked across the isle at a man in a suit who's number had just been called. He was one of the few people dressed nicely- albeit a cheap suit, but had been sweating profusely the entire time. Yes, I had thought about sitting next to him, but didn't want to have to towel off when I left. As it was, I'd already be taking a very LONG shower!
Anyway, he got up and left, shall we say, a long damp streak of something on the seat. I dry heaved.

A man came to take his seat as there were no available seats and people were standing around the edges. He noticed the damp streak on the seat and... this is repulsive... ran his finger in it! My heart stopped! Then, he brought his finger up to his face and smelled it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dry heaved again! I wanted to scream to him STOP but no sound escaped my lips- it was like a bad horror movie when the girl is being chased by the extremely slow scary guy and she gets cornered and just looks horrified, but can't scream or run. I was in this state of shock when my number came up. I must have looked pretty bad because the bedraggled lady at the desk asked me if I was ok. Ok? Me? No, I'm not ok! I just spend the last 2 1/4 hours of my life in a cess pool of filth and trolls!

I ran home and immediately took a shower. Oh, and I came down with a horrible cold the next day. Coincidence? I think not!

So, yesterday I had to go to the DMV again to get plates for my hubby's new car. The things I do for my sweet husband..... anyway, when I arrived I immediately began twitching and experiencing shortness of breath. The room was packed! My heart pounded in my ears and my head began aching. I quickly searched the room for an acceptable available seat- one preferably not directly next to anyone, but if that wasn't possible, one that was next to someone who wasn't wearing pleather, had combed their hair, didn't have a green haze of cheap cologne or parfume clouded around them, and... well, my options were drastically narrowing. I chose a man wearing a nice button up shirt and long shiny black hair. I figured, if it was shiny, maybe that meant clean. Luckily, shortly after I sat down, his number was called, and a woman immediately took his seat. She was younger, and smacking her gum louder than a whip crack, but she didn't stink. I prepared myself for the 2 hour wait by bringing my book.

I tried not to look around me. I figured what I don't see won't hurt me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the man in front of me had about 3 teeth. He liked to laugh a lot, but I don't think he spoke any English. A woman with a baby was nearby, and was oblivious to the fact that a crying baby isn't a soothing sound to most people. I wondered if there was a disaster and we were all stuck in the DMV how long it would take for people to start eating eachother. I know, sick thought. I was wondering how long it takes for a person to get Strep throat from another person, if head lice can migrate via the plastic chairs, if....

What? There's a new DMV opened on 14800 South???? There's no waiting???? Who cares if it's raining cats and dogs outside and I have lots of stuff to do that day! I'm outta here!!!! I drove all the way to Egypt and guess what, there was NO WAITING!!!! The people were friendly and clean, and didn't look like postal workers about to leave an unmarked package in the middle of the building. I even think I heard angels singing as I walked into the almost empty room!!!!! The workers might as well have been dressed in white playing harps- it was heavenly!!!!

So, lessons learned? I am a DMV-a-phobe, class 1! Also, it is sooooooo worth the drive to go to the new DMV. I will do it again and again!!!! I think I'll even take my son there for a fun day. It is a happy place!

"No honey, don't get me anything for Christmas this year, just take me to the 14800 South DMV. That's all I need! And maybe some more hand sanitizer. I ate all of mine."

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Crazy Friday night!

Yes... here at our house, we know how to have a good time on a Friday night!

12:56 AM- car pulls up to intersection in front of our house (we live on the corner)
Car's music is BLARING!!!! I can hear it inside my home- I HATE that!

1:01 AM- car is STILL there. I assume whoever's in it is making out, either
that or they are waiting for a drug deal. Yes, didn't you know my street
is drug central? Well, they are very sly about it- cars pull up next to
eachother, people exchange "gifts" and drive off. Ya... real nice!

1:02 AM- hubby puts on clothes and goes out to knock on car window to ask them to
turn music down, or drive on. I am praying no one jumps out and decks him!
He quickly turns back and runs into house! I'm freaking out!

1:03 AM- Hubby tells me to call 911- lady is passed out in driver's seat, doors are
locked, he can't wake her up, but she is breathing. Dog barking in back.

1:04 AM- Call 911. Get told we aren't in that jurisdiction and transfered to another
department!!!! Get put on hold- HELLO!!!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY PEOPLE!!!!
They keep asking how old she is. "I don't know, she's slumped over!" "Well,
make a guess..." "Uh... ok, somewhere between 16 and 60?!" "Mid 20's?"
"Sure, mid-20's. Whatever you want!" Grrrrrrr.....

1:08 AM- Get mad, hang up and call back again. Finally get someone who will take me

1:25 AM- 2 police cars show up, 1 fire truck, 1 ambulance. *Finally* They easily
Jimmy the windows and get into the car. After much trying, they are able
to wake the woman up. She's drunk... shocking! 2 more police cars show up.

2:00 AM- Take beligerant woman to police car in cuffs. Wait for animal control to
come take the dog so they can tow the car away. Flashing lights in our
bedroom window, people talking right outside- who can go to sleep? Oh ya,
the lady operating the large SUV could... how nice for her!

2:30 AM- Tow truck and animal control finally finish up so we can go to bed! I feel
bad for the dog having to sleep in a cage. I feel bad for the woman for
a nightmare she is going to wake up to in the morning!

What a night!!!!!! I am just baffled at how someone so intoxicated could
even think to operate a vehicle. I guess that's just it- she didn't think.
I'm glad it was the middle of the night and no one was on the street, and
no one got hurt!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

It is done...


I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad the elections are over!!!!! This has been the craziest election I can remember! People can really get mean and ugly during election time!

I had a difficult time during this election- I didn't feel any one particular candidate was a shining example of someone who could lead our country. My son, however, knew exactly who he would vote for.

Yesterday in his school class- he's in second grade, mind you- his class held an election of their own. They put their heads down and held up their hands for either McCain or Obama. When my son got home, he had an "I Voted" sticker on.

"So, you voted?"

"Ya- we did it in school."

"Hmmmmm.... so, who did you vote for?"

(now, my husband and I haven't really talked about who we would vote for around him. My husband and I had differing opinions about which candidate would be best, and I didn't want my son just being a puppet and spouting off our political views as his own.)

"McCain... of COURSE!"

me, chuckling...

"McCain, huh? And why did you vote for McCain?"

he gets a very thoughtful look on his face...

"Well... I watched him on television, and I watched Obama. I think McCain is an honest man, and would make a good president."

"Well... I'm glad you voted for someone who you feel you could trust."

"Ya... and Obama has told the Americans lies!" he says with conviction and certainty. (I laughed out loud at this!)

It's clear he has been in the car when my mom or his grandpa has been listening to the political talk shows! So much for not swaying his opinion one way or another!

Nevertheless- if it were up to his 2nd grade class, McCain would have won by a landslide, which surprised me considering the demographic of his class.

However, when I look at my little guy, I feel hope for our future. Although things may be difficult and uncertain right now, I am certain that there are some pretty amazing kids who are growing up to be pretty amazing leaders!I'll try not to get in his way!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Life's Lessons Keep On Coming....

I had to teach the Young Women in church on Sunday. I actually really love teaching Young Women- they are so cute, and fun! I really feel like I relate more to the young women than I do the grown women!

Our lesson this week was on being dependable. I cringed when I read the lesson because, despite my best efforts, sometimes I forget responsibilities. I don't mean to! Honestly! In fact, I even bought a day planner so I wouldn't forget my responsibilities, but I ended up forgetting to bring it with me, or forgetting to write in it, and it was useless!

So, teaching the girls about the importance of being dependable and reliable felt a bit hypocritical. However, I promised them I would bring them caramel apples last night, if they did an assignment I asked of them. I told them I would show I was dependable by bringing the treats by in the evening on Monday night.

Guess what? I forgot to make the caramel apples! Ya! At about 4:30 pm I suddenly realized I needed to make caramel apples! I dropped everything I was doing so I could make sure I got this one thing done! I got them delivered, and sighed with relief that I had done it!

So, lesson learned? Well, I know I may have all the best intentions, but it's my actions that speak louder than anything. I guess I'll just keep trying!!!!

Friday, October 31, 2008

"Jack Sparrow doesn't smile"

I finished the Jack Sparrow costume for my son. I think it turned out really awesome! Actually, I was surprised at how well it turned out. However, when my son put it on last night, he didn't crack a smile. I asked him if he liked it and he said "Ya... it's good", in a ho-hum sort of way. I asked him if there was something wrong with it, and he said, "nothing". Finally, I got really frustrated and said, "Sweetie, if you like it, and there's nothing wrong with it, why don't you smile?"

"Jack Sparrow doesn't smile."

Oh. Ok!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Holiday Boutique Show!!!!

Holiday Craft Fair

Saturday November 1st 10 AM -5 PM

Rockwell Charter High School
3435 E. Stonebridge Lane
Eagle Mountain, UT

Sponsored by the Mei Wei club

Come get some early shopping done, and of course, my fun aprons will be there too!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Phone call from security company...

This is the call I received at Walmart the other day at about 1:20- 1 1/2 hours before my son's school gets out:


"Uh... ya, Ma'am... " a heavily southern accented woman comes on, "This is Pinnacle Security, we received a call that your alarm just went off. Someone there named *bleep* answered. Thank you." click (my son's name isn't *bleep*, by the way, but it was added to protect his identity!)

What? I was stunned! Why would my son be home from school at this time? Something must be horribly wrong! I ran through my head why he could be home. We had parent teacher conferences this week, but they ALWAYS send something home saying school will be out early, and they ALWAYS put it on the calandar, which I have hanging on my wall and check EVERY STINKIN DAY!!!! Ok, breathe.

I call my husband who works only 3 minutes from home.

"Sweetie- I need you to borrow someone's car and run home. I just got a call from the security company that *Bleep* is home!"

"What the *bleep* is *Bleep* doing home?!"

"I don't know! That's why I need you to go check on him!"

"Well... aren't YOU home? You're ALWAYS home!"

"No... I'm NOT ALWAYS HOME!!!!" (me, beginning to LOSE IT!) "I'm buying antifreeze for the car, now GET HOME!!!!"

Come to find out, school really was let out early for Parent Teacher conferences. Hmmmmm.... that would have been a good thing to put on the calender, don't you think?

The ladies at the office were sure everyone already knew school was let out early, because it is every year. Ya? Well, some of us need to HAVE IT IN WRITING!!!!!!


Ok. Well, it prompted us to teach him what to do if mommy and daddy aren't home when you get home from school. He now knows where to find the secret key, how to unlock the door, how to deactivate the alarm, and who to call if he's in trouble. Whew!

I can't help feeling guilty that I wasn't home when he got here. I keep checking the school calendar, but it is the same every time- no early day! So, It's not my fault, right?

At least we know our security system works. Oh, and that it takes approximately 20 minutes from the time the cops are called to the time they actually show up. Oh, and
it takes me only 7 minutes (approx.) to move our television. Nice to know!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

So I'm a little OCD....

Some people get really crazy at Halloween. I mean, decorate their houses, yards, blogs, selves with halloween decorations. We all know that lady who paints her fingernails black and puts a streak of green in her hair- the entire month of October, and she's 65 years old! Or the family down the street who have 10 different inflatable yard decorations of Frankenstein, pumpkins, ghosts, etc. Well, I'm not one of those people. Not that they don't have their place in society, and not that I don't appreciate their efforts on this holiday- I do! I love halloween! But I don't go all out decorating for it.

I do have one fatal flaw, though:

I am a total costume perfectionist. I admit it. I can't bring myself to purchase a costume, it must be homemade. I wasn't always this way, though. As a children, my brother, sister, and I would come up with a costume idea the night before Halloween, and then change costumes after school and trick-or-treat as something completely different. I remember my store-bought princess Leigh costume- my face got all sweaty. But, most of the costumes were impromptu and still turned out great.

My problem now is, I can't bring myself to do the same for my kid. I can't bring myself to let him throw a costume together at the last minute, or get one at the dollar store. I have to make it, and it has to be 100% authentic, or professionally done, or whatever. I know, I'm nuts- it is true!

Last year he wanted to be an alien, so this is what I came up with: Green patent leather, silver lame, 3 fingered gloves, boots, and glow in the dark paint. It took me 3 days to complete, but he looked awesome!

This year, I don't know what I was thinking agreeing to let him be Jack Sparrow. I can't let myself cut corners, so it's gonna take me days! I mean, full length jacket, vest, shirt, pants, boots, sash... it's crazy!

It's like I am out of my body watching myself do this crazy thing, and I'm powerless to stop it! The ladies at the fabric store were looking at me like I'm a crazy freak for going to all this trouble to make a costume, and I agreed with them! "You're making the coat and everything?" But, I have one child, and it is really fun making these things, so I guess I'll keep doing it.

I guess maybe I should sell them on ebay or Craig's list when he can't wear them anymore. That would at least make my husband happier!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

5 things about me...

Ok, this is for Whitnie- (and anyone else who cares!)

5 years ago
1. I was chasing around a 2 year old!
2. We were trying to find a new renter for our basement apartment
3. I was leading the music in primary- twice each Sunday!
4. My husband had just started a new job
5. I was in North Carolina visiting my mom- (I think?)

5 Things on my list for today
1. finish laundry
2. Mop kitchen floor
3. fill car with antifreeze
4. get fabric for son's halloween costume
5. make fantastic dinner to celebrate our ACTUAL anniversary- today!

5 snacks I enjoy
1. almonds
2. cheese and apples
3. crunchy grapes
4. oreos and milk- with cream scraped out from middle
5. trail mix

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire

1. pay off my house
2. move to Cache Valley
3. give money to siblings and in-law siblings to help pay their homes off
4. help hubby open his own business
5. set up scholarship for average grade students with potential

5 places I have lived
1. Salt Lake City, UT
2. Riverton, UT
3. Rexburg, ID
4. Logan, UT
5. Bountiful, UT

5 jobs I have had
1. display designer at Rag's dept. store
2. sales at ZCMI
3. manager of copy center for 3 law firms and Utah Power and Light
4. voice teacher through USU
5. owner, designer of Saucy Frocks aprons

5 people I tag
I don't think I'll tag anyone specifically. Feel free to do it if you want!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Lessons from this weekend...

I learned:

1) If I try to plan my anniversary, it gets me upset. I gave up planning it, and we had a great weekend! Next year, I won't plan it again. Oh, and I didn't expect a gift either, (though I have expected/ hoped for one in the past), and my husband ended up buying me one on our date- so, there you go! No expectations = Great Anniversary!

2) Sometimes the things you say over and over and over and over to your child actually get heard. I sent my kid to my sister-in-law's this weekend and she told me one morning she was telling the kids to get stuff cleaned up and my very own fruit of my womb said: "Ya, kids, let's get this stuff cleaned up. Work before play!" I heard angels sing when she told me this! ( I also cringed a little at hearing the very words from my mouth repeated like that. Boy, I really sound like a mom! Freaky!)

3) If you eat at a Brazillian grill (ie: Tucano's), don't plan on being able to walk normally for at least 30 minutes after your meal, and refrain from smelling any meat for another 24 hours. And whatever you do, DO NOT eat that last bite, even though you really want it, your body knows when to stop. DON'T DO IT!!!!!

4) Don't watch a really funny movie with Ricky Gervais after eating at a Brazillian grill. Especially one with a scene where he is gagging! Not a good idea!

5) Don't watch "Emma Smith" and "Saving Sarah Cain" back to back, while alone at your mother's house. Your eyes will swell shut.

6) Don't let your 7 year old son sleep in the same bed with you when you are hoping for a good night's sleep. No matter how much he begs- don't do it! He'll end up laying his head on your feet, putting his feet in your face, yelling in his sleep, climbing up to lay on your back, and making your life miserable! He thinks it's funny, too.

7) Don't expect your husband to know NOT to remove the tray from the new wax- melting candle warmer and tip it sideways spilling the contents all over your collection of "Twilight" books. True, my 7 year old knew not to do it, but husbands require special instructions.

Those are the lessons I learned this weekend!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

What I've learned in 9 years...

On October 22nd, I will have been married for 9 years! Woo Hoo!!!! Yep, we have already surpassed most Hollywood couples- a thing of which I am most proud, indeed.

What's our secret?

1) Just pick up the socks, and don't complain. I have long since learned that certain people's socks will forever not make it into the hamper, and if you just pick them up, life is happier for everyone.

2) If you take a minute every few days to smooth out the toothpaste tube from the end, and remove your long hair from the shower drain, marital unity is one step closer.

3) a little (three letter word inserted here) goes a long way!

4)Always give your husband the last bite of dessert off your plate. (And make it seem like you planned to give it to him all along.) Yes, true- he already had a heaping helping of his own, but for some reason, that last bite is all he needs (except for #3) to be happy.

5) ALWAYS tell your husband exactly how much you saved on a frivolous purchase before telling him you purchased it. (then add #3!)

6) 5-6 action packed movies (preferably with lots of blood and maybe some aliens) must be watched to equal the emotional and psychological torture experienced for every 1 chick flick/ Jane Austen movie he watches with you.

7) Husbands take you out to nice restaurants, not because you like the break and want a nice meal you didn't have to cook, but so you will learn how to make it at home so they don't have to take you out as much!

8) Your marriage will last longer if you enliven it often watching funny episodes of your favorite t.v. show in bed, with popcorn and Fresca.

9) Go a few days every now and then without showering or doing your hair. When you finally do dress up again, you'll get a big "wow", and he'll remember how hot he thought you were when he met you. (again, a #3 here would be good- after the shower, of course!)

10) Go on road trips together. Put squirt cheese on crackers and add pieces of ham or turkey. Gently place into his mouth while he is driving. Read a good book to him, and never fall asleep. You're on this road trip together, remember.

11) If you are reading "Twilight" and happen to fall in love with the main character, and your husband rolls his eyes whenever he sees you drooling over it,(which happens to be every night as he comes to bed, hoping for #3) just make your husband feel better by saying "You know...reading this, I just can't help picturing you in the role of Edward- you'd be perfect!" and all is well.

12) Flatter him often, saying things like: "Honey, I just love it when you scrub the toilet and shower with no shirt on! Your bulging muscles are soooo....bulging. Will you do it again for me?" You'll have a sparkly clean bathroom all the time!

13) Laugh at his jokes, even if you've heard them before, (they are still funny). And ask about his day, even if you know it was awful. Then be willing to listen to his complaints about imbecile bosses and incompetent workmates, and follow with a shoulder rub. Smile, and be glad you have such a wonderful person to spend eternity with.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I'm counting to three, and then....

We are all destined to parent pretty much the same way we were parented. It's unavoidable- admit it. I mean, although we may try not to sound like our parents, we inevitable end up doing just that. I have come to grips with this fact in my own life. I know that when my son is misbehaving, I will inadvertantly snap my fingers and point- classic "my mom" move. My brother and sister and I used to make fun of my mom by doing just that. I know my son will eventually do the exact same thing. Sorry, kid.

Another thing I never tried consciously to do, but have ended up doing quite frequently, is counting to 3. I give my son until the count of 3 to do something when I've lost my patience with him. (this usually comes after the snapping and pointing, which isn't always effective). If I get to number 3, he knows he is in big trouble, and will end up losing video games, or friends, or something cherished. I find counting to 3 works really well. I did try just skipping one and two all together once, but it really didn't turn up good results, so I stick with the old reliable formula.

Well, now that my little guy is getting older and smarter- (I wouldn't say wiser, because it isn't wise to push your mom's buttons when you are misbehaving)- he is finding out that some rules could be bent if we let them. The counting to three rule, for example. We went to a concert last night to hear my husband sing in a choir. I warned my son to be on his BEST behavior. The first song he was very fidgety, and wanting to whisper to me throughout. I told him repeatedly not to whisper during the song, but he was having trouble obeying. Finally, since I couldn't snap, I went directly to the finger pointing and began holding up one finger, then two, and as the third finger was coming up he finally caught on that I was counting silently. He suddenly got a very panicked look on his face and whispered to me:

"Mom, can't we just make it 4 this time?"

I never in my wildest dreams ever even thought of asking my mom to make it 4! That would have given me one whole other number before I had to stop what I was doing and obey! Gee, my kid is so smart! But, alas, the rule is:
"The number thou shalt count to is 3. Thou shalt begin with 1 and then move upword to 2, wherein thou shalt pause for a brief second to give said child time to realize his impending doom. Then, thou shalt count up to 3. If you go on to 4, you have gone too far. 3 is the number."

He'll catch on someday. I wonder how many other freaky things he'll pick up from his parents. Hmmmmm.....

Sunday, October 12, 2008

What life is REALLY like in our home-

This was a tag from Heather, but I thought, you know, maybe I should answer these questions truthfully so here it goes...

1. What is a smell that reminds you of home? freshly lit furnace on the first cold day of the year. Ya, it stinks, but it also reminds me of home!
2. How do you keep socks organized? I match the ones with matches and throw the rest back in the laundry. They're sure to end up with a match eventually, right?
3. How do you keep your whites bright? I have long since given up on bright whites. Now I wash all whites with a red sock- that way they stay pink!
4. What is your favorite boredom buster? Making my kid fold his own laundry- it's really fun to watch what a fuss he will make over folding underwear!
5. What hints would you give a young mother for sacrament reverence? Try not to write notes to your husband, or sing the hymns "Sound of Music" style, or play thumb war with your kids. Oh, did you mean hints for the kids?
6. What tips do you have for painting? Wait until the kids have grown and moved out, then invite them over to paint the house for you.
7. How do you remove hard water and rust stains from sinks? Move to a newer house, otherwise, get used to it. You'll miss them when they're gone.
8. What's the best way to kill weeds in a flower bed? Total vegetation killer does a pretty good job. Yes, it kills all living things around, but you don't have weeds either- just morning glory.
9. What is the best parenting advice you have been given? this advice was from my son: "Mom, just don't get mad." So, there you go.
10. What is the most fun date you have been on in the last year? Oh, this one is a good one! One time we got a sitter and drove 5 minutes to the dollar movie where we saw some flick we could almost hear all the dialog, and then got 2 for 1 corn dogs at Arctic Circle after. Yea, that was a date to remember.
11. How do you keep a car uncluttered and clean? I pretend the mess isn't there. If I don't see it, does it really exist?
12. What is you favorite cleaning product? My spit on my finger!

13. Favorite two or three step recipe...easy but good? Get Tortilla, sprinkle pre-grated cheese on it, zap in microwave. Serve with salsa. Ok, that's 4 steps. Sorry.
14. What is the most helpful cook book you own? I use my head as my cookbook. Sorry.
15. Any food storage tips? Don't leave an open bag of cheerios in the cupboard, upside down.
16. What is the favorite thing hanging on your walls? My son. He's in a Spiderman faze- hopefully it'll pass soon.
17. What do you use for Family Home Evening lessons? Someday, I will use the example of my husband and son whining every time I try to give a FHE lesson, as a good lesson on how NOT to act when your mom has planned a FHE lesson.
18. Grocery shopping hints to save money? Don't have very many kids!
19. What is something you admire about your parent's relationship? My Step-dad told my son: "Boy... I just do whatever your Grandma tells me, even if I don't want to. It's just easier that way." I really like that philosophy!
20. Do you have a family motto or mission statement? Well, we keep saying over and over, "We should have a mission statement", so I guess that's it.
21. How often do you do laundry? When I see my son going to school with last week's dinner all over the front of his pants... then it's time for laundry.
22. What is your favorite family tradition or vacation? I would love for it to be going to Hawaii every February, and Yellowstone every Fall, but we haven't done that yet.

23. If you had only ten minutes to tidy what would you do? Think of an excuse to not be home when company came over!
24. How do you help motivate children to do chores? Threats work wonders around our house! I used to try to persuade gently, but found the threats work immediately.
25. What is your most read children's book? I have a nervous twitch as I say this, but "Go Dog, Go"- I still have nightmares whenever I hear that title.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Silly Me!

Knowing myself means I have to come to grips with the fact that I will always do stupid things. I will always drop the eggs I am trying to crack for a cake or an omelet, I will always slip and fall in broad daylight in front of all the people walking in and out of Costco, I will always raise my hand to make a comment, only to have it come out sounding all wrong. I am the one who, on a day I am feeling great and lookin like a million dollars, has a total stranger tell her "Um... you have lipstick all over your teeth!". I am the one who walked up to a cousin I hadn't seen in years and years to say hello, and I had a huge glob of mustard on my chin! Yep, me. I am the girl who, upon seeing my all-time favorite english teacher in High School, ran up to hug her and she said, "Um.. I don't really remember you, but hi." Do you get the picture?

I am the one who, in front of a courtroom full of potential jurors, interrupted the judge who was writing something and said, "Your Honor? I don't want to answer that question in front of a room full of strangers. Can I just tell you in private?" Yep, that was me! Then proceeded to get up to walk up to him and he had to tell me to sit down, he wouldn't do that yet. Yep- me. I am the one who got out on the wrong level at the court house, despite all the signs that said "No Public Access", and got trapped! Yep, that was me, again!

So, yes, I know myself. Am I ever going to change? I doubt it. I do these things inadvertantly. It is part of my chemical make-up. I usually just blush, laugh it off, and keep going on with my life.

Hopefully those of you who know me can accept these little hiccups as just a part of life with me. Just know, in those times I trip, or drop something, or spill all over my chest, or totally say the wrong thing... I am really trying to be normal! It just isn't possible for me!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Time for another Tag....


I am… not afraid to try new things.
I think… I was born in the wrong time. I should have been born in the 1930's.
I want… my son to have more friends to play with in our neighborhood
I have… cramps!
I miss… my sister and her sweet little children!!!!!
I hear… imaginary conversations in my head constantly.... is that normal?
I cry… much more than I did when I was younger.
I wish… I had a giant kitchen with miles of counter space and a dishwasher!
I care… too much about how I wish I looked.
I always… eat peanut butter sandwiches with potato chips. I don't like either of them without the other!
I worry… about our sad food storage.
I am not… ready to stop trying to have a baby.
I remember… so much about my childhood. I often wish I could go back to those simpler days!
I sing… in public but not alone in the shower. Strange, I know.
I don’t always… tell people what I really think and feel.
I argue… with my son about silly things like how long a minute really is.
I write… little love notes to my hubby when I go away from him for a while. I leave them everywhere- in the cupboards, drawers, closet, shoes, bathroom mirror...
I win… nothing! I am terrible at winning games, prizes, etc.
I lose… my mind when my child is having a whiny day, or my hubby is stressed about work, or I haven't been out of the house in 3 days straight!
I listen… to everyone and anyone who needs someone to talk to. Especially my hubby and son.
I don’t understand… people who are members of a religion but don't practice it.
I can usually be found… at my sewing machine or in the kitchen.
I need… to have a better self image.
I forget… movies I've watched. I can watch them over and over and never remember how they end!
I am happy… when I am spending time with my family doing something simple like reading or going on a car trip.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Jury Duty....

I got my summons in the mail a week ago.

I got one about a year ago, but didn't have to show up.

I just KNEW this time I'd have to show.... I knew it in my bones.

I woke up early this morning and got all dressed up in my nice dress pants and business attire, complete with 4 inch heels- you have to look taller, even when you're sitting, right?

I packed my briefcase with a book, granola bar, MP3 player, gum, quarters for the vending machines if need be, my cell phone, and a deck of cards. (the cards were actually already there from my trip to Europe- I just never took them out).

I drove to the court house downtown and walked in feeling all big and important. I thought I should tell everyone I saw "I am judging a case today... it's up to me! You'd better watch out, I'm on a jury today..." but I kept my crazy thoughts to myself.

I strode confidently into the court room and smiled at both attorneys, (you want to let them think you aren't some manic PMS-ing housewife who's ready to blow at the slightest off-putting remark, even though you are!)

I answered the questions truthfully and confidentally. Yes, I am a U.S. Citizen. Yes, I have been to college. No, I do not drink or smoke. Yes, I belong to a church that does not believe in alcohol consumption. Yes, I know someone who has been convicted of driving under the influence. Yes, I have very strong feelings about that.

I got dismissed.

I came home and celebrated with a glazed donut! Yay- no jury service for at least 2 more years!

Conference Sunday

I LOVE General Conference weekend! I love cleaning my house while being spiritually edified at the same time. I love making a yummy gourmet breakfast for my family while leisurely taking the morning easy. (Incidentally, yesterday's breakfast was Crab stuffed omelets with Hollandaise sauce, and homemade caramel apple sweet rolls)

Saturday, I sewed a new cover for my couch, and my sweet hubby helped pull the thick fabric through the sewing machine so I didn't lose my mind and get frustrated and give up. (Thanks, Sweetie!)

Yesterday, we listened to the whole second half of conference in bed- all of us together, snuggled up in our giant bed, even the dog! Unfortunately, this is a picture of my hubby and son "listening" to conference:

Neither of them admits to having fallen asleep, but neither knew I had taken the picture, either! My son later said, "Mom... when I watch it in bed, my body thinks it's time for bed!" So I guess we'll watch it sitting on the couch next time. Hey, at least he was watching, right????

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Twilight Zone...

Last night my hubby, my son, and I were all gathered at the dinner table- (which, sadly to admit doesn't happen as often as I would like, sometimes I am just too tired and ornery to care about scintilating conversation, and we end up eating at the tv trays watching some dumb show- it doesn't happen EVERY night, but more than it should) Where was I? Oh yes, eating at the dinner table.

Daddy usually asks son "How was your day?" "What did you learn?" etc...

Last night the conversation went like this:

son- "Dad... How was work today?"
(we looked at eachother- I don't think my son has ever asked this question out of the blue like this... ever!)

dad- "Well... it was a pretty good day. I got a lot done, and Joe and I had a meeting and joked and laughed a lot."

son- "So... you weren't paying attention?"

(I about blew BBQ pork out of my nose- this was soooo funny! I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone- complete role reversal!)

Later, my son said:
"Mom, this dinner is really good. What exactly did you put in the pork to make it taste this way?"

Now I'm sharing baking secrets with my 7 year old?

OH, he also told me, earlier in the day when he saw me in a new dress, "Mom, I like your new dress. However, the back of your neck looks like an old lady, but the front of you looks really pretty!"

Gee.... thanks!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Us... through the years that could have been

I've always thought I was born in the wrong generation. Here are some photos of myself and my hubby if we had been born at different times, and what our yearbook photos would have looked like:

Class of 1952

Class of 1960:

Class of 1968:

Class of 1972 and 1976:

Class of 1978 (my big hair period):

Class of 1984 and 1988:

And my real yearbook picture, class of 1998 (ha ha... I wish!):

Why? Why? Why????????

Why is it that some parents can sit and watch their children do awful things and not stop them? Why is it that some parents don't care where their 5, 6, 7, or 8 year old chid is, or even know most of the time? Why is it that an 8 year old child can come home with a bike that obviously isn't his, and his parents not do a dang thing about it?????

A few months ago, I allowed my son to play with a boy who walked by and asked to play. I didn't know him, but stayed outside with them the entire time. I quickly saw this child wasn't someone I wanted my son playing with, he lied, he was allowed to wander the neighborhood without parental supervision... you see my point. Later that day, when we returned from going out to dinner, we saw my son's bike had been stolen. I immediately knew who it had to be. We drove around and, sure enough, found this kid with the bike! I made him give it back, though he exclaimed he didn't know it was my son's, and we didn't call the cops. I simply told him he wasn't welcome to play at our house anymore, and if it happened again, I would be calling the police.

Well, Sunday late afternoon when we returned from our vacation, what should be gone from the shed but my son's bike. Nothing else was missing from our shed, just the bike. Hmmm.... I wonder who could have done it?? We called the police and told them who we were pretty sure had taken it. They had no trouble finding him- he was in his front yard with the bike. They had a long talk with the mom about it, and we didn't press charges. I don't want to be the one to get this kid tangled up in the system at age 8!

Yesterday, I went to the school to inform them of the incident, thinking maybe the counselor could work with this kid to straighten him out. Apparently he's done this several times before at the school, and nothing is getting through. They said I should have pressed charges- that maybe that would finally wake him up... I doubt it.

So, I ask... Where is the mother in all of this???? Why isn't she grounding her child from wandering the neighborhood? Denying him the chance to take a bike at all? Questioning him when he shows up with a bike she clearly didn't buy for him? Why isn't she walking him to school and back to make sure it doesn't happen again???? Simple steps, but one that can save him from a life of crime!

It breaks my heart to see the writing on the wall of this child's future. If my son's bike gets taken again, which it probably will, I will have to call the cops, and probably press charges, and the wheels will be in motion. I just have to say, though, that no community service, or hours of detention, or talking to a judge will have any effect whatsoever if his parents don't step up and do their job! I think the parents should be made to do community service along side their son! Teach them both how to be better parents to this child!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Vacation... Yay!!!!!!

We are going to St. George and Zions canyon tomorrow!!!! Yipppeeeeeee!!!! We went last year and saw "42nd Street" at the Tuacahn amphitheater. We had front row tickets and my son absolutely LOVED it! Of course, he was staring up at several shapely ladies tap dancing in very short dresses, what's not to love, right? (incidentally, he and his dad both liked the same dancer.... hmmmmmmm.....)This year we have 3rd row seats to see "Les Miserables". We could have got 1st row again, but that was just a bit too close. I am sooo excited!

We hiked all over the petrified sand dunes in Snow canyon, and hiked through Zions, and it was gorgeous weather... most of the time. A cold front came in on the last night and we froze in the pool. But this year is supposed to be perfect!

So, no more blog posts for me until next Sunday! I'm off to see the wizard of Zion's canyon! It's going to be warm, and beautiful, and we have pools at both our hotels, and we're going to be able to relax and..... ok, I'm getting too excited now! Better tone it down!

See ya later, alligator!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

My eyes are always bigger....

I had some family over tonight for some dinner. They are all vegetarians... I know... what's up with that? You don't eat no meat???? Well, never fear, I have a few vegetarian tricks up my sleeve! I made chow mein with tofu, egg rolls, cream cheese won tons, tons of tempura veggies, and giant tempura shrimp!!!! Those are my favorite! (Shrimp? you say... yes, the vegetarians in my family do eat seafood, so I guess they aren't true vegarians).

The dinner turned out great, the only problem was there was WAAAAAAAYYYYYY to much left over! I could have had 20 more people here than we did and still had leftovers!
I do have to say, though, I am so glad I bought a big wok a few months ago. It is awesome to make all this stuff in! I may have a tiny kitchen, but I have a big wok!

However, I am really exhausted from this day of rest. I am going to go do the dishes and go to sleep!

Friday, September 19, 2008

A funny clip!

Warning: contains a political joke. This is only a joke!

Zucchini Chocolate Chip cookies!!!!

Ok, I have zucchinis coming out of my ears! Wednesday, I went out and picked 20 great big zucchinis from my garden! Yes, the zucchinis are plentiful, the tomatoes aren't. I'd rather it was switched! Anyway, I have been forced to find creative things to do with my long green veggies-a-plenty. I grated a few and froze them for future zucchini bread. I downloaded a recipe for zucchini salsa which got rave reviews on, and plan to make that as soon as I get some tomatoes. Yet I still had a ton of zucchini- what to do... what to do??

I got out my recipe for pumpkin cookies and tweaked it a bit, and created a masterpiece! My hubby took them to work and everyone (that got some) loved them! I am posting the recipe here and at my friend's recipe site for all to enjoy.

Oh, I also took a crab cake recipe and put grated zucchini in it in place of the crab. It was really good! We had it for dinner, and my son gobbled it all up! My skin is turning green from all the zucchini, but we aren't sick of it... yet!

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies
By Erin Taylor

1 ½ C. Sugar
1 ½ C. Grated and finely chopped zucchini
3/4 C. Butter
2 ½ C. Flour
1 tsp. Each: baking powder, baking soda, cloves
1 TBSP + 1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 Tbsp. Baking cocoa
¼ tsp. Salt
1 ½ C. milk chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 deg. Spray cookie sheet with pan spray. Beat sugar, zucchini, and butter until creamy. Add remaining ingred. and mix just until flour is incorporated. Bake 1 test cookie- (this is a MUST as this type of cookie can be difficult to gauge the flour. If it spreads out too thin in the oven, add a little more flour to the batter a few tablespoons at a time, if it remains in a ball while cooking, thin with a bit of water) Drop by tablespoonfuls onto cookie sheet and bake for 10-12 minutes, or until puffed up in the middle and barely darkening on the edges. (do not cook until tops are brown!) Remove from oven and let sit for 3 minutes before removing from cookie sheet.