The other day, I was having one of "those" days. You know- the kind where you are on the edge of insanity and just know you are going to snap at any moment. Nothing in particular makes you crazy, but everything makes you crazy. Unfortunately, being a mother, the offspring tends to become the scapegoat for all my irritations.
"Why do you have to eat your dinner by categories? Why can't you have a bit of this, a bite of that- enjoy the whole meal as it was intended?"
or
"Is it so hard to just do your math first and THEN your spelling?" (Ya, like it really matters what homework he does first, right? See, I told you I was going crazy!)
Well, on this particular day I was trying to get dinner ready. My son sensed my obvious verge of breakdown behavior and snapped into action before I knew it. I turned to get the plates I'd set on the table and they were gone. My blood began to boil. SOMEONE TOOK THE PLATES ON PURPOSE!!! ( Hear twigs beginning to snap in my brain?) Suddenly, a plate is thrust in my hands. It is full of food. Someone is pulling out my chair for me to sit. Someone is gently patting my shoulders to help me sit down, and my plate of piping hot food is placed in front of me. Then another plate is brought to the table for my husband. I realize no one was trying to drive me to an early grave. IT was just my sweet son trying to help calm his mommy!
I watched- probably with my mouth wide open in astonishment- as he dished himself up a plate and sat down. We said the prayer, and I was still sitting there with my mouth agape.
My son. My sweet, sweet boy-soon-to-be-man was taking care of his mommy! My insanity melted away.
My husband says I never feel guilt. That, my friends, is not entirely true. On this day, the guilt cloud hanging over my head turned into a giant snowstorm. (We got 8 inches here! Seriously!) I felt guilty for ever snapping at my kid. For ever picking on anything he has ever done. EVER! He is a good kid. I am a bad mother. But, I am sure a lucky, bad mother!
Since then, I've been trying to look at all the little things he does that are so wonderful. There are a lot. And I am such a lucky, bad mother!
"Why do you have to eat your dinner by categories? Why can't you have a bit of this, a bite of that- enjoy the whole meal as it was intended?"
or
"Is it so hard to just do your math first and THEN your spelling?" (Ya, like it really matters what homework he does first, right? See, I told you I was going crazy!)
Well, on this particular day I was trying to get dinner ready. My son sensed my obvious verge of breakdown behavior and snapped into action before I knew it. I turned to get the plates I'd set on the table and they were gone. My blood began to boil. SOMEONE TOOK THE PLATES ON PURPOSE!!! ( Hear twigs beginning to snap in my brain?) Suddenly, a plate is thrust in my hands. It is full of food. Someone is pulling out my chair for me to sit. Someone is gently patting my shoulders to help me sit down, and my plate of piping hot food is placed in front of me. Then another plate is brought to the table for my husband. I realize no one was trying to drive me to an early grave. IT was just my sweet son trying to help calm his mommy!
I watched- probably with my mouth wide open in astonishment- as he dished himself up a plate and sat down. We said the prayer, and I was still sitting there with my mouth agape.
My son. My sweet, sweet boy-soon-to-be-man was taking care of his mommy! My insanity melted away.
My husband says I never feel guilt. That, my friends, is not entirely true. On this day, the guilt cloud hanging over my head turned into a giant snowstorm. (We got 8 inches here! Seriously!) I felt guilty for ever snapping at my kid. For ever picking on anything he has ever done. EVER! He is a good kid. I am a bad mother. But, I am sure a lucky, bad mother!
Since then, I've been trying to look at all the little things he does that are so wonderful. There are a lot. And I am such a lucky, bad mother!
1 comments:
You are a wonderful mom... I totally get those crazy days as I have them too often myself, and I lash out at my kids. Thankfully he will remember all the amazing things you do for him. :)
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