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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

This in no way should reflect my spirituality or what I learned at Stake Conference this weekend....

Some observations from  Stake Conference this weekend:

1) "Adult" session in no way infers that all who attend are, in fact, adults. My husband's and my attendance at said meeting proves this fact.

2) We are a very long way off from having the "Heavenly Home" the speaker referred to. (A home where there is no arguing? Is there such a place? I have a very hard time believing there are any normal marriages on the earth today where there isn't SOME arguing, whether voices are raised or not.)

3) I have about a 38 minute attention span when sitting on a hard, cold, metal folding chair.

4) Stake Conference begins at 10AM twice a year for as long as I can remember, and we arrive at about 10:18 twice a year for as long as I can remember. Apparently time gets sucked into some otherworldly vortex on Stake Conference Sunday at our house and we absolutely cannot make it any earlier than 10:18.

5) Old people don't just cough, they hack up a lung and part of their upper digestive tract. Please, oh please don't let me get old!

6) Old people are physically unable to whisper.

7) If the hymn is taken too slow, my  husband will sing it at his own tempo and finish about 2 minutes earlier than the rest of the congregation, causing me to laugh, rendering me unable to complete the song at all, and making me have to use the bathroom. And he says I'm irreverent when I sing "Come, Come ye saints.... no toilet paper here..."

8) I am very sure now that there is no possible way on earth I could have been a sane mother of 5 or more children. Or 4 or more.... or maybe 3....

9) I wish I could still pack a church bag with fruit loops and crayons and cars and fruit snacks and books....

10)  I have about a 38 minute attention span.... (oh, did I mention that already? Well, it's true.)

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