A very sad day

Yesterday, shortly after I left my husband's work from bringing him lunch, he called me with some very disturbing news.

The woman he sits next to at work had just received a phone call from her ex-boyfriend. It was her birthday, and he said he had something for her out in the parking lot. (the building is key-coded, so he wouldn't have been able to come in on his own.)

She was reluctant to go out, but ended up doing it anyway.

When she got out there, he shot her in the head, killing her, and then himself.

In a situation such as this, you just cannot make sense of something so devastating. She left behind 2 kids- 13 and 10. She was a very good woman, always looking on the bright side of things. She will be dearly missed.

It seems impossible to me that someone can go through the thought process it takes to load the gun, put it in your car, drive to the destination, call the person up on the phone, then shoot them dead. Knowing she has 2 kids- how could he do this? He wasn't even her husband- just an ex boyfriend! How could someone be so selfish????

It hurts so bad to think how many people's lives will be forever altered because of this freak's decision to end Kim's life. I hurt for her family, for her kids, for her co-workers who witnessed the tragedy, for her friends. I hurt for his parents and family who have to live life knowing their son or brother did this attrocious act.

I just have to know that Heavenly Father knows the needs of all involved, and will put his loving arms around those children, those parents, everyone who needs comforting. Kim no longer has to worry about the stresses of being a single parent.

It makes me feel a little more respectful of other's lives, and what people are going through. It makes me want to make sure I am really listening when someone needs a listening ear. It makes me look at strangers and wonder what I can do for them. I guess this is something good that can come from such a tragedy.

Who thought this up? A 90 year old???? (A 6 year old could have done it better!)

Ladies and Gentlemen...

We have now re-entered the dark ages!

Ok, well, Comcast has, at least.

"Announcing faster, more efficient emailing with SmartZone..." they say.

I spent 2 hours last night on their "faster, more efficient" web site trying to even find a way to read my email.

I spent an hour trying to contact customer service to resolve my issue, only to get a message saying they are unable to complete my request at this time. (hmmmm... maybe because they were inundated with customers having problems???)

I spent an hour and a half online with a "live" tech this morning, who obviously was having difficulty accessing my email accounts as well.

Boy. I am sure impressed with your new faster, more efficient web site, Comcast!

Maybe you can give me some pointers on how to get my laundry done more efficiently as well!

The Purple People

My husband and I were asked to sing in church yesterday. (We were called on Saturday morning about 10:00- a whole 23 hours notice!)

The dilema when we do duets like this is, what do we wear? Do we just wear whatever we want and risk clashing- detracting from the spirit? Or do we plan to dress in similar colors and risk the tittering fashionistas in the audience remarking on our "twin-ness".

We opted for twin-ness.

So, yes, thank you all for pointing out that we were twinners in our matching purple attire. I'm sure I blushed as red as my lips were yesterday.

Luckily, red goes with purple!

P.S. I've never owned a purple dress before and I was excited to wear it, and my husband was excited to wear his new purple shirt, so we agreed that- since they didn't clash- it would be ok. It wasn't like we PLANNED to be the Brady bunch or anything!

The Poo Hating Mormon on Lake Street

To the sweet old lady who walked her dog by our house the other day:

eh... hem.....

"Dear Ms. _________,


I watched as you allowed your dog to leave his steaming brown calling card on my sidewalk next to another dogs mark, then watched in horror as you walked away- forgetting to pick up the lovely pile your dog left. My husband went out and quietly asked you if you would please pick up the poo your dog left behind- you acted as if he was asking you to come clean our toilets.

So, dear neighbor, I am puzzled by your behaviour. You immediately said you were glad you weren't a Mormon (where did that come from?!), and that, with our "trashy" yard, why would we even care if there was dog poo on the sidewalk. (FYI.. the white junk all over our yard is called snow. And it's not just in our "trashy" yard!) Maybe you think non-Mormons enjoy dog poo on their sidewalk? I have many non-Mormon friends and they don't love dog poo on their sidewalks, so it can't be that non-Mormons like it and Mormons do not! And I wonder how you even knew we are Mormons in the first place, we'd never seen you before in our lives.

I can only assume you've been asked by "Mormons" before to pick up after your dog, and you've built up resentment toward us poo-hating people.I don't want you to hate us.

So, I say to you, dear neighbor, please do not hessitate to walk your little black poodle by my house in the future. There are plenty of people who don't keep their dogs on leashes and who let them come to use the facilities available to them in our unfenced yard. There's plenty of poo left, so feel free and welcome to come by, if that's what you're comfortable with. I would just appreciate it if you don't allow your dog to add to it, if at all possible.

Oh, and contorting your already wrinkley face like that when you yell and say "Mormons" like that... it's not really flattering to a woman of your advancing years. I'm worried what that kind of bitterness does to someone's blood pressure, let alone smoker's cought,too. You wouldn't want to leave that little doggie without an owner would you?

Sincerely,

The poo hating Mormon on Lake Street.

Psychological Torture is a part of life.

When I was a kid... and my poor sister can attest to this... and I'm sure she will in the comments... I delighted in the psychological torture of my little sister. I like to think of it more as self preservation because she could beat the crap out of me... and she did... when she wanted. If I tried to hit her back, I'd be the one to get in trouble... so I just lay there like a slug until the beating was over. Psychological torment, on the other hand, can't really be proved. There are no outwardly visible bruises or bleeding. It's all in the mind... and often doesn't present the real damage until years later! heh heh heh... sorry.

Once, when my sister was little, we got china dolls for our birthdays. I told her a story about a haunted china doll who killed her whole family. Yes, I know... freaky and twisted... but it scared her so bad, she had to get up and go into the bathroom. Now comes the wonderful part of my master plan! The light to the bathroom was outside the door, so I crept up and turned off the light and threw her china doll in at her while she was on the pot! Shazaaaammmm!!!! She was sooooo freaked out, it was priceless!

There are many more instances like this, but the whole point of this post isn't to relive my glory days... ahhhh...... but to say I'm not the only one who did/ does this!

My little guy is afraid of warewolves- has been since he was very small. We've tried over and over again to convince him there is no such thing as a warewolf, but he doesn't believe us. My husband took him into his lap the other night after he'd had a bad dream, and very lovingly looked into his eyes and asked: "Do you trust me?" My son's tear swelled eyes looked back at him and shook his head "no"!

So, we assured him, once again, there are NO warewolves anywhere around, and sent him off to bed. I turned on some soft music for him to calm down to and I figured all would be well. Suddenly, I heard howling coming from some distant place in the house. It got louder and louder and I realized it was my husband- I could've killed him! Suddenly, from my son's bedroom I hear a soft voice say: "Mommy.... can you tell daddy to stop howling like a warewolf? He's scaring me!" Now, if that had been my sister, I wouldn't have stopped for anything- but such a tender, meek little voice, I stormed in and gave my husband that look... you know, the one that says "if you don't stop this right now you are going out and building yourself a dog house that you can live in for the rest of your life!"

Well, I had to admit the whole thing was quite funny- and my son did realize it wasn't a warewolf, but his dad, so maybe it helped a bit. I won't, however, be dousing myself with ketchup and laying on the kitchen floor with a knife any time soon. Oh, didn't I tell you about that? Well, I think I'd better not. The wounds are still a little too deep for my sister to dredge up again right now. It was a classic, though! Ahhh... the good ol days!

I must be an old lady...

Last night I had the pleasure of being reminded that I am really quite old!

I was able to have my Young Women's Beehive class over for our class activity. (12 and 13 year olds have WAY more energy then I remember!)

We made Calzones and watched "Sky High" (for those of you who haven't seen it, it is a GEM of a movie, and I highly recommend it! [click here to see a clip] Especially if you're an adult, as the entire soundtrack is remade 80's songs!).

The girls were having a great time, which made me glad. You never know if they're going to be bored out of their minds, and break their necks rolling their eyes- or if they really are going to like it. I guess if it involves food it's almost always a hit.

Halfway through the movie they start piling on top of eachother taking pictures with their phones. Ok, I try to remember when I was that age... yes, I remember being boy crazy... I remember being loud. No one had ever even heard of a "cell phone" when I was 13, though.

The up-tight adult in me wanted to say, "Girls, you're making it really difficult for the rest of us to hear the movie," but then I realized the rest of "us" were just the boring grown-ups, and we don't really count! I had to practice my breathing and smiling- saying through my teeth: it's ok... they're having fun, and that's what's important... texting boys during a YW activity isn't the worst thing in the world.... remember being that age yourself? Actually, I remember convincing my friend's mom to drag State so we could whistle at boys. If we did that now... well, let's just say, we would be mistaken for something other than clean, wholesome young women!

After they all left, I must admit I let out a few sighs of relief. I really had a good time, and they really did seem to enjoy themselves. I would totally do it again, for sure. Just give me some time to take my Geritol and rest my weary bones! Oh, and thank Heaven I'm not still 13!

Are you Contrary or Obstinate?

Several months ago, my son had spent the day with his grandparents. That evening when we went to get him, he had clearly worn them down with his usual argumentative nature. His grandpa finally asked:

"Well, are you contrary, or obstinate?"

" I'm NOT contrary!"

I think he doesn't realize how much he argues. He gets in trouble in school because he insists that he is right. (I don't know where he gets that from!) It is for this reason why he was put in all night time out last week, and why he almost got it again last night!

So, this morning, I said "I am going to put a mark on a piece of paper for every time you argue. How would that be?"

"Mom... I'm NOT arguing!"

I think it's going to be another long night at our home tonight. *sigh*

Who writes this stuff????

Ok. I thought for a long time about posting this. I read it on my friend's blog, and it made me laugh so hard I cried. Actually cried! (You thought I was going to say I peed my pants, huh? Well, I always do that, but crying is something different!) But, it does have a few colorful words, (don't worry,no F bomb), but be forwarned. However, it is soooo funny, I just had to put a link here.

For a good time, call: http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/

Enjoy!

An observation...

I have found I get much more enjoyment out of watching workout videos than actually doing them.

I turned the television on the other morning and this very lovely long haired island-ish looking woman was doing exercises on a beautiful lush green bed of grass, surrounded by flowers, right next to the sea. It was so confusing because it lulled my mind into a sense that this was a peaceful thing. I decided to join in.

I had to constantly look up at the television because I didn't know any of the moves she was doing, and every time I did, I stopped working out and stood there watching her graceful movement. I imagined myself moving that gracefully, and listening to the sea slowly swooshing against the lava rocks, I sat down and just watched the rest. So much for working out.

I think I'll go down and "watch" another workout show! At least my eyes will get exercise!

Doing time...

Monday night I did a "first" with my son.

It's been a while since I've had to send him to time out, but Monday he just kept pushing the fences. He likes to think he is always right,( I have NO idea where he gets that from!) and just wouldn't stop pressing the issue.

"Mom, I only have 5 minutes left of reading time!" (did I mention he HATES to have to read 20 minutes a day? You'd think I was making him scrub the toilet or something.)

"Yes, I know. You can read this article from The Friend in only 5 minutes."

"No, mom. It will take me longer, like 7 minutes, and I shouldn't have to read longer than 5 minutes."

"Actually, it will only take you 5 minutes, and in the time it's taken for you to argue with me about it, you could have been half done!"

"Spirit of love, Mom..."

(We had set a family goal for this year to speak with the spirit of love, and he loved to remind me of that.)

"Ok, Bud. You're makin' me mad. Now read the article or you'll have to read for another half hour!" (not so much in the spirit of love)

"But, Mom, I only have 5 more minutes and this will take longer....."

"Ok, that's it! Go to your room!"

He yelled from time out the entire time that he was ready to behave, which earned him more time out, which made him yell more that he was ready to behave, which made me completely lose it, which led to this:

"Ok, you just landed yourself in time out for the rest of the night! You'll eat your dinner in time out, you lose all video games, you don't get to spend any time with mommy or daddy tonight... you get nothing!"

"So, I have to pee in time out, too?"

(Grrrrrr...... this kid will never get it! How dare he make me smile when I'm angry!)

So anyway, he had his first All Night Time Out. He still didn't get the concept that you don't yell under the door to have a conversation while in time out. However, all in all it turned out rather well. The peace and quiet in the house was so different from a normal evening, I didn't know what to do with myself!

Maybe I'll make All Night Time Out a regular thing! If he keeps saying "spirit of love, Mom" I will!!!!

Side note: When I went in to bring him his dinner, he was doing pull ups from his bed without a shirt on- looks like he is completely at ease "doing time"!

They never lose it...

You know those commercials? The ones with the super-catchy tune whistled in the background while a man has an incredibly cheesy grin on his face, and his wife does too? You know...... THOSE commercials? (come on... don't make me spell it out for you!)

Did I ever mention that my son whistles that tune around the house all the time? It's rather embarrassing! I live in fear of the day when someone comes over and hears him whistling it and knows what it is from!

Anyway, I have an odd train-wreck-like fascination with those commercials. I actually like the catchy tune, and people smiling is always nice- not like a hemorrhoid commercial or those creepy toe-fungus commercials. But the thoughts it conjures... old people... big grins.... yuck!

I was reminded yesterday that some feelings and desires never die... no matter how old you are.

I was walking in Shopko, looking for ridiculously cheap marked down merchandise I could spend my husband's hard earned money on when I came across a calendar kiosk. They were actually all over the store, but I stopped to browse through the discounted calendars for a moment when I noticed further up the isle a very old man looking at the calendars in another kiosk.

As I saw there was really no need for me to purchase a discounted "Trucker's Paradise" calendar, or "365 funny things kids say", I mosied further up the isle, toward the sweet old man. As I got closer, I could see the calendar he was so enthralled with....

yep, it was the "Trucker's Paradise" calendar.

Nope. It really didn't have anything to do with trucks.

When he suddenly realized someone was coming up behind him, he quickly shoved the calendar out of sight, and hastily grabbed the "Mary Englebright" one.

Uh huh.... sure..... you're really into Mary Englebright... Right.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I passed. I really couldn't help it. I wasn't trying to be rude, it just came out!

Sorry, cute old man. I'm glad you've still got it in you. Really!

Be Grateful...

Yesterday, I went to my son's Primary where he was giving a talk. The primary president was talking to the children about starting the new year out being grateful. She said each child there should be able to think of at least 5 things they were thankful for, and the older kids could probably think of at least 10 things. Then she said the grownups could think of things all day and all night long and still not stop because of all the things they are grateful for.

It got me thinking.

My attitude lately as been such that I would probably have a difficult time filling a half hour with things I am grateful for. Not that I don't have much to be thankful for, but because I think I have been having a bit of a pity party lately, it's been more about things that are bothering me than things I am blessed with.

So, I'm going to try to snap out of it.

Starting today, I am going to post this entire week about things I am grateful for.

So, here it goes:

Day 1:

I am thankful that I have a heated home and don't have to be out in that freezing cold.

I am glad my dog didn't throw up all night after eating my husband's earplug, for the 3rd time this week!

I am grateful for some peace and quite today

I am glad my husband has a good job and provides for all our needs so I can be home taking care of our family and our house.

I'm thankful for Advil which took the edge off the ginormous headache I woke up with first thing this morning!

Ok, that's enough for today... don't want to use up all my thankfulls too soon!

Don't go to sleep...

Do you ever wonder how something seemingly deeply imbedded in your past can resurface in your dreams like it happened yesterday? I often have dreams like that, you know, the ones where you find yourself walking the halls of high school, it's finals and you remember that you never went to your math class and are frantically trying to remember where it is???? Or how about the dreams where you find yourself sitting in 4th grade and realize you forgot to wear pants?

My nights are frequently, too frequently haunted with such dreams as these. I don't think that I am a person who dwells too much in the past, but I find myself having dreams like these so often, I wonder if there's something I didn't resolve in my childhood! The dreams that are most disturbing to me are the ones about ex-boyfriends. I HATE them! (the dreams, not the ex's... well, some of them!) I am a happily married woman, yet in my dreams I am back in high school, or college, with some ex=boyfriend, and things aren't usually going well.

Last night, I dreamed that an ex came back after not having seen or heard from him for years, and he was begging me to get back together with him. I absolutely had no intention of doing this as I was married, but he persisted. He finally got rather verbally abusive and I woke up seething about the whole thing. It was a few minutes before I realized it had all been just a dream, which then made me angry because I had to be angry and hurt over nothing.

I think maybe most dreams represent something else entirely. I don't think I have a fear that I forgot to take a class in high school, or that I am harboring feelings I haven't dealt with about former boyfriends. I think they surface at times when I am feeling frustrated with my situation, or something going on in my life I can't control. I don't want the holiday to end and life to go back to normal. I don't want my son to have to go back to school... I can't control these things, and I think my dreams are reflecting this helplessness.

Once, I went to bed hungry and dreamed I had eaten an entire box of eclaires. I woke up smiling, and glad I had enjoyed the pleasures of it without any of the actual calories! Why can't every dream be like this???? Get out of my head ex- boyfriends! Go away, math class I hated! You are banished forever!!!!!!

I think I'll watch some sappy girl flick tonight before bed. At least maybe I'll dream about Patrick Dempsey dumping me if nothing else!