Let's see.... how many times have I heard this phrase this summer:
"Well, at least you only have one to deal with!"
Does that mean I don't have a right to look disheveled and tired? Does that mean I don't feel empathy for other women who fall into bed at night wondering desperately when school is going to start again?
No, I have every right. I am a mother of one, and one is plenty hard!
Yes, this is a basket of my freshly laundered whites. And this is where my dog can be found as soon as they come out of the dryer.
Yes, it is very tricky trying to fold the clothes out from under the dog, but he is so cute and cosy there- I think I'd climb in there if I was only 15 lbs, too.
When he is all clean, you can only see the 3 little black dots- two eyes and a nose.
You lucky dog!
Ever seen "Pretty in Pink"? I love the part where the excentric music store worker is talking to Molly Ringwald about going to her prom. (Yes, I said Molly Ringwald. Yes... I'm that old.) She tells her the story of a friend of hers who didn't go to her prom. Years later she has these moments where she feels she is forgetting something. She checks her kids, she checks her purse...and she realizes "nothing" is missing. She finally concludes it is trauma from not attending her prom.
No- before you go thinking I'm a pathetic nerd, I DID attend my prom. No worries there. I would not have made it past prom night alive if I hadn't had a date. My friend and I were pathetically focused on our one goal of getting asked to prom. We relentlessly searched until we found the right prey and....pounced! No, this post is NOT about not going to prom.
However, I do have a pang of bitterness every so often in my life. That little jab in your gut when something reminds you of something you never did and wish you had. For me, it was a full-on baby shower. I never had an "official" baby shower.
See, even now my stomach is doing flip-flops over the subject. It is truly painful for me! (hey you, person who laughed about Molly Ringwald...knock it off!) I was scheduled to have my baby shower a week before my due date. All my aunts and older cousins were going to come- they went to every baby shower. Well, I ended up having an emergency c-section a week early and the shower was cancelled.
End result: there was never a make-up shower. I never got the gifts wrapped in cute little yellow and blue paper with fun curly ribbons on them. I never got the basket of baby powders, lotions, and butt paste. I never got to play the "what's in the diaper" game...although, I am thankful for that! My mom ran out and bought me all the necessities when she flew in after the baby was born. The rest we picked up as needed after my sweet little 5 lb. 10 oz. boy came into the world.
No baby shower.
To this day it makes me sad. I have a really hard time going to other people's baby showers now. I'm sorry to say this. It isn't a forgiveness thing. I don't harbor any ill will toward all the people who never gave me their gifts, I'm not one to hold grudges. Honestly, I have no proof that anyone was even going to come to the shower anyway, so there may not be any little gift bags with my name on them, hiding away in some closet with 10 years of dust on them.
But the fact that I didn't get a baby shower... it leaves a big hole in my life that can never be filled. So, all you first-time moms to be: enjoy your shower. Enjoy the gift opening, the multiple packs of onesies and burp cloths. Enjoy the stupid games and high-fat treats. They are filling a majorly important purpose in your life, though you don't know it!
And try not to think of little, old, showerless me....
*sniff*
*sniff*
I had a dream last night.
I went back in time a few years and ran into a "certain" famous person. (who will not be named here to protect his identity....ok, to protect me from being teased, really.) We'll call him "Bob". Bob was a teenager, and he was really into fencing. I went to a fencing tournament of his and he did very poorly. His father was quite angry with him and said he wouldn't speak to him anymore. (I know, what kind of a parent does that?!)
Anyhoo- my sister and I pulled "Bob" aside to cheer him up, and I tried to explain to him that sometimes we win things, and sometimes we lose. I wanted him to understand that he could still be a famous fencer if he just stuck to it, when my sister pulled me aside.
"What are you doing?! If you talk him into fencing, he won't give up and become a famous actor! We like him as an actor, so encourage him to quit fencing!"
So, I think it was my sister and my fault that "Bob" became a famous actor, and not a fencer.
Oh, incidentally, he came to visit me a few years later (in the present) and he stayed in my guest bedroom and I fixed him chocolate chip pancakes- which he said were the best ever. Oh, and we had family home evening with him, too.
I'd say, all in all, I had a pretty productive night, wouldn't you?
P.S. (Laur- I bet you can't guess who it was! hee hee)
To look at life through a little boy's eyes, and ears...
Today my son came running into my sewing room to tell me to come quick and listen to the ants. My first thought was to say, no, I'm too busy sewing a million aprons by Friday, but then I took time to listen.
Listen to ants? Don't you mean look at the ants? It was a strange request, so I went outside. I got down on the ground and saw into a crack in the concrete of the driveway. Inside the crack were hundreds of ants all busily working and scurrying about. I put my ear down close to the ground and...
you know what???
I could hear them! There were little popping sounds, and little crackling sounds- like hundreds upon hundreds of tiny little ants working like mad!
It was the most amazing sound! Next time you see a huge swarm of ants on the pavement, take time to kneel down and listen! Heavenly Father's creations are astounding, and I am grateful for my little boy who helped me to really listen!
On another note: Have you ever eaten an ant? I have. It tasted like...ant.
The other day as I was waiting for my son to get dressed from swimming lessons, (he happened to be singing at the top of his lungs in the dressing room and everyone in the building could hear it. Yes...that's my son!)I noticed all the mothers bringing their kids in for their lessons.
I noticed their faces: tense, irritable, tired, worn out... as they dragged their 3,
4, and sometimes 5 kids by the arms, clearly rushing to avoid being late to their swim lessons.
I wondered, is that what I look like? Then I looked in my rearview mirror as I finally backed out of my parking space after having waited and waited for my dawdling son who I could hear but could not go get because he was in the men's dressing room.
Yep, that's exactly what I look like.
But I wouldn't trade motherhood for the world!
Dr. Pepper frozen pops....heaven!
Central air conditioning while I sew in my sewing room
DVR-ing "Larkrise to Candleford" and watching it while I work out
A spray of cold water from the hose on a really hot day
Seeing my tomato plants exploding in size almost right before my eyes
Eating sugar snap peas outside in the shade while reading a great novel
...... these are just a few of my simple pleasures lately. What are yours?
Erin's definition of "Basket Case":
of or pertaining to one who's stomach is twisted in knots because her son is about to go for his first whole day at Lagoon with a friend.
Yep, that's me. Fits to a "T".
Did I ever tell you about the time my son got lost a Lagoon... on the 4th of July....in Lagoona Beach.....surrounded by water....and hundreds of people....he was 3????
Most terrifying 5 minutes of my ENTIRE life!!!! Luckily a lifeguard found him, walking in the LAZY RIVER! My son was smart enough to remember we had put all our stuff by the volleyball courts and he took him there. I had this overwhelming feeling to run over there by the freak chance he had gone back to our stuff, and there he was with the lifeguard. I am shaking even now as I remember it.
So, when my son's friend asked if he could go to Lagoon with her, (yes, HER... his on-and-off-since-kindergarten girlfriend, mine you!) visions of missing child posters and faces on milk cartons flashed through my mind at high speed. My first reaction was to say "HECK NO!!!!"
However, I was comforted when speaking to her mother that it would just be my son, his friend, her mom, and her grandma. No wild pack of parentless roaming 9 year olds wreaking havoc on poor old ladies at Lagoon, no boy crazy teenage older sibling "supposedly" keeping an eye on two younger, innocent, vulnerable, shivering, homeless... ok, I'm getting a little out of control here.
The point is, I KNOW in my head that he is going to be ok. This friend of his is a good girl, and her mom is a good woman, and her grandma is a classy lady. All very normal, decent, caring people. They aren't going to abandon my child at the first chance they get. Their intent is not to cause me pain and anguish. They only want to give two deserving children a fun time at Lagoon. I get it.
Nevertheless.... he hasn't even left yet and I am a ball of tightly-twisted knots inside! (I was the girl that called home after being at a friend's slumber party for only an hour because I was homesick. She lived a block away from me, and I couldn't make it through one measley night? Pathetic!)
So, I am telling myself I can do this. I CAN make it through the day. I CAN know my son will be well taken care of. I can breathe in and out and in and out....
can't I???
Last night my hubby and son had a "guys night".
They usually plan these nights when I am going to be gone for my own girls night, or a meeting.
Needless to say, my son was talking about it all day long. I called my hubby to let him know what the "agenda" was going to be (as per my son's request.) Apparently they were going to need to come up with about 8 more hours in the night to accomplish all that was required for the successful guys night! ("First, we'll go get dinner- hamburgers or a yummy sandwich. Then we'll go shoot of my rocket. Then we'll go to a movie. Then we'll go to the nickelcade. Then we'll come home and play video games and you can make us a yummy snack. Then...." Well, it went on and on!)
So, as I drove home from my meeting, I could see they were over at the school field. I knew they were shooting off their rocket, so I couldn't resist. I drove over and got out to watch. Apparently there were technical difficulties, and clearly a MOM can't understand these things. I quickly got the idea I should butt out, so I went home to read.
They got the rocket working and had a blast! It warmed my heart to see them enjoying themselves together.
And made me even happier that I didn't have to be the one to shoot off the rocket!
And yet even happier I had some quiet reading time all to myself!
Yay for guys night!
