A big hole where the shower should have been...

Ever seen "Pretty in Pink"? I love the part where the excentric music store worker is talking to Molly Ringwald about going to her prom. (Yes, I said Molly Ringwald. Yes... I'm that old.) She tells her the story of a friend of hers who didn't go to her prom. Years later she has these moments where she feels she is forgetting something. She checks her kids, she checks her purse...and she realizes "nothing" is missing. She finally concludes it is trauma from not attending her prom.

No- before you go thinking I'm a pathetic nerd, I DID attend my prom. No worries there. I would not have made it past prom night alive if I hadn't had a date. My friend and I were pathetically focused on our one goal of getting asked to prom. We relentlessly searched until we found the right prey and....pounced! No, this post is NOT about not going to prom.

However, I do have a pang of bitterness every so often in my life. That little jab in your gut when something reminds you of something you never did and wish you had. For me, it was a full-on baby shower. I never had an "official" baby shower.

See, even now my stomach is doing flip-flops over the subject. It is truly painful for me! (hey you, person who laughed about Molly Ringwald...knock it off!) I was scheduled to have my baby shower a week before my due date. All my aunts and older cousins were going to come- they went to every baby shower. Well, I ended up having an emergency c-section a week early and the shower was cancelled.

End result: there was never a make-up shower. I never got the gifts wrapped in cute little yellow and blue paper with fun curly ribbons on them. I never got the basket of baby powders, lotions, and butt paste. I never got to play the "what's in the diaper" game...although, I am thankful for that! My mom ran out and bought me all the necessities when she flew in after the baby was born. The rest we picked up as needed after my sweet little 5 lb. 10 oz. boy came into the world.

No baby shower.

To this day it makes me sad. I have a really hard time going to other people's baby showers now. I'm sorry to say this. It isn't a forgiveness thing. I don't harbor any ill will toward all the people who never gave me their gifts, I'm not one to hold grudges. Honestly, I have no proof that anyone was even going to come to the shower anyway, so there may not be any little gift bags with my name on them, hiding away in some closet with 10 years of dust on them.

But the fact that I didn't get a baby shower... it leaves a big hole in my life that can never be filled. So, all you first-time moms to be: enjoy your shower. Enjoy the gift opening, the multiple packs of onesies and burp cloths. Enjoy the stupid games and high-fat treats. They are filling a majorly important purpose in your life, though you don't know it!

And try not to think of little, old, showerless me....

*sniff*

*sniff*