Golden ink from the lost world of Atlantis!!!

Today I gave myself an early Christmas present: a black and a colored ink cartridge for my printer!!!!!

What? That doesn't sound exciting to you? You thought it was going to be a gorgeous sweater, or a new DVD, didn't you?

No, my friends. This ink is special. It comes from deep in the forests of Madagasgar, from the juice of the irredescent Ugai'i berry that can only be harvested by the light of a 3/4 moon on the 6th night of the 8th month after a total lunar eclipse by blind dwarf children and squeezed between the thighs of a woman who is exactly 99 years 364 days 23 hours 59 minutes and 2 seconds old, and who has/ had one blue and one brown eye- the brown eye preferably having been lost sometime due to an unfortunate incident with a wild boar- this brings a higher quality of ink, apparently.

This can only be where the ink came from because it cost a freaking $53!!!! So, Merry Christmas to me! Nope, I don't need a gorgeous sweater, thanks. I got my ink, I'm good.