The funny thing about being a parent is when you have to give your kid a pep-talk about jumping back into school after the long Christmas break, and how he will get back into the groove of things in no time, and how great it is to be back on a schedule; when all the while you are on the verge of breaking into tears and having a nervous breakdown because the pile of laundry you didn't do the week after Christmas is growing by the day, the dishes need to be done, the Christmas trees are still up and you curse yourself for insisting you needed two up to begin with, your resolve to toss out all leftover candy and junk food from the holidays the day after new year's day has turned into purchasing a package of oreos and consuming 1/3 of it in one sitting with a cold glass of milk while watching Dr. Who and avoiding the mountain of laundry mentioned earlier, and the only reason you have gotten out of bed at all is because you have to put on the facade that you have jumped back into normal life with both feet and are doing just fine so your kid can continue "getting on" with his normal life again without having his own after-holidays melt-down, and you realize you aren't fooling anyone when your kid throws his arms around you and tells you you'll be ok soon and it'll all be back to normal in no time- the very words you used his first morning back to school as you both climbed into the cold car before the sun was up for the first time in two weeks, and you dread getting on that scale in the bathroom knowing it isn't going to say kind things to you, but that you need to face reality sooner or later if you are going to attempt your new year's resolutions sometime in the near future when you have really and truly faced the fact that the holidays are over and life really has to get back to normal, and there really is no other way than to do just as you have told your trusting 10 year old and jump in with both feet, facing the new year head on with eyes of steel and an unwavering resolve, just as soon as you polish off the last of the cherry chocolates and triple cream brie cheese, and that last 2/3rds package of oreos. Yep. It's pretty funny.
The Wedding Wardrobe Malfunction
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