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Monday, April 28, 2008

Watch Out, Folks! She's About To Blow!

I have come to the sad conclusion that I am a grouchy hag! I think the stress of marriage and motherhood are to blame. Don't misunderstand me, I actually LOVE being married to my sweet hubby, and wouldn't trade my little buddy for anything in the world! But those of you in my same situation know that throwing a husband and a child into the mix creates... well.... more stress.

I remember in high school, I was known as the spunky girl- always happy and cheerful, bubbling over with giddiness. (Yes, I was also extremely boy crazy, that might have had something to do with it... maybe.) A kid in my class came up to me once and said, "Erin.... Why are you always so damn happy?" I will never forget the dry, slightly perturbed tone in his voice when he said it. But it made me proud that I could be so annoyingly happy.

College was not much different, really. Yes, I was still boy crazy, a disorder that didn't really correct itself until I donned the wedding dress and ate the piece of cake from my new hubby's hand.( Which he so lovingly did NOT smash into my face- the first right decision he made in our married life.) College was carefree- except for finals and vocal juries (Ach! That stomach pain again!) But how was I to know that the stresses they would bring were virtual Marshmallow Peeps compared with the stresses of "real" adulthood?

I went from a life of me, me, me, me, me... what do I want for dinner tonight? What movie will I see tonight? Do I want to sleep in today.... yes I do, so I will! To, what will my hubby and son eat, what movie will not drive hubby from the room rolling his eyes and making fake gagging noises, do I want to sleep in today because I was up all night with a sick child... yes I do, but I can't because I have to get up and take care of everybody else!!!!! I run errands now to pick up someone else's prescriptions, someone else's soccer gear, someone else's school uniform. You get the idea. It's usually 3:00 pm before I actually run a comb through my hair and eat breakfast!

I realized I must complain a lot last night when my son informed me he had to go lie down because he had a headache. Kids don't get headaches! I realized that line came directly from my mouth to his ears! I try not to complain, really I do. I actually like to serve my family, usually! It makes me happy to make their favorite meals. I love when we all snuggle together on the couch and watch some silly old swashbuckling movie because Dad likes action, Son needs a movie with nothing too scarey, Mom needs a few hours to sit and vegge.

I also realized that I seem like I have little to no patience for anything anymore. Actually, I have more patience than a hospital! (get it? a play on words? Oh, never mind, I can't wait around all day for you to get my stupid jokes!) I have developed more patience and long suffering because I am a wife and mother. I haven't off'd my family in a fit of rage have I? See, iron patience! But, with patience comes side effects- headaches, slight twiches, sudden bursts of freaking out followed by uncontrolled sobbing followed by half a pint of Ben and Jerry's followed by much apologizing and hugs.

I don't think I'm really that much different from other women in my situation, really. I think we women have developed a way to put on a happy face so we can power through it all and hope for the rainbow at the end. I'd settle for a dishwasher or a large closet at the end! I actually long for the day when someone says "Erin, why are you always so *&%$ happy?" Probably when I'm old and senile. I am beginning to think that senility is nature's way of rewarding you for all your patience!

Monday, April 21, 2008

It's Not Easy Being Green

It seems that everywhere you look people are saying how they are "Going Green". I thought it meant something similar to what happened to me the 9 months I was pregnant, but aparently it is a good thing. "Going Green" means doing things that are environmentally conscious. I think much of it stems from people's fear that greenhouse gas emissions are destroying the Earth's atmosphere, or some silly thing like that. They drive cars that burn corn oil, use solar panels to heat their ovens, even wear clothing made from bamboo! Many of these things seem a little far-fetched to me, actually. I don't believe the Earth's atmosphere is disintigrating, or that we can do anything about it if it is.

However, I do worry about overflowing landfills and daily human waste. I don't like to see those plastic grocery bags swirling down dusty streets, like modern-day tumbleweeds. So, I was happy to find that I am already "going green" in many areas when I read an article in the "Parade" magazine that came in the paper this week. It was titled: Better Ways To Go Green, and talked about how people are trying to be "greener", and the ways that are actually better for them than the current trends. (Yes, I believe many of them are trendy!)

Firstly, it says that using sturdy, reusable totes are better for the environment than paper or plastic bags at the grocery store. Ha! I purchased about 5 of these reusable bags in a moment of sheer "green-ness" a few months ago! Now if I can just remember to get them out of the trunk and take them in the store when I go. I only remember after I have a whole cartfull of stuff and am in too big of a hurry to run back to my car to the the dang things!

Redecorating in eco-friendly furniture vs. refurbishing old furniture: Ha! again!!! The article says that refurbishing is "greener".I haven't purchased a new couch for 10+ years!!!! I have recovered it several times, and recently made some very stylish new pillows which look quite professional, I must say! (do I still get green points even though I tossed the old polyester filled pillows into the garbage which will go to the landfill? At least I didn't burn them, releasing toxic polyester fumes into the atmosphere causing the ozone layer to suddenly rupture and cook us all like turkeys in our own homes!)

Driving a Hybrid SUV vs. a smaller hybrid, or driving less: Well, we are already green there- we don't even own an SUV! And, although we don't own a hybrid of any kind, we are contemplating removing the floor of my husband's old Nissan Sentra and driving it "Flintstones" style. It should surely save on gas, although we'd need to replace the rubber soles of our shoes much more often, causing the deforestation of many rubber trees in foreign lands- but it's not like we'll ever go there and fill up their dumps with our stuff, either! Seem like a fair trade to me!

And finally, using Bamboo clothing vs. "Classic, timeless pieces made from quality fabrics" (as they put it): Well, I must say, I feel a bit pridefull in saying that I am TOTALLY green in this area! I've never even seen an article of bamboo clothing! It doesn't sound very appealing to me! I have a pair of polyester pants that I've owned for over 10 years now, and they are indestructable, which means I will probably be wearing them until I am too old to get my leg up into them anymore. Of course, it also means they won't biodegrade, but I can just pass them down generation to generation and everyone can experience the pleasure of my polyester pants! "Erin's last will and testiment: I hereby bequeath my black polyester pants to _________". Now, if passing on a legacy like that isn't green, than I don't wanna be green!!!!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Free Apron!!!!!!

A great blogger, Scribbit, is giving away- as in FOR FREE- one of my cute aprons! This one, actually!

Go to her site and enter by Monday! Who doesn't like getting free stuff, right?

Well.... what are you waiting for???? Go NOW!!!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Doctor is NOT in......

I think I have a sign on my head that only seriously screwed up people can read that says:

"Please, come to me with all your problems and dirty laundry and spill your guts and interrupt me at all hours so I can sit and listen to all your problems and tell you you need to repent and change your life".

Ok, maybe it's not that long, maybe just "The Doctor Is In".

Anyway, I am emotionally and physically drained because my sign appears to be flashing neon right now. I just want to curl up in my bed and shut out the world around me. I want to yell out: "I can't fix your problems, ok? I can only tell you to read your scriptures, attend church, pay your tithing, pray, and don't do obviously stupid things!" But, this certain person doesn't read this blog, and never will. *sigh*

I think I'll put up a real sign that says "The Doctor is having a nervous breakdown. Please find somewhere else to be disfunctional."

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


A few months ago, my sweet hubby sat down one morning and actually started doing the taxes. I think I even blogged about it. I was so amazed that he didn't put it off until the last minute! Every year, on April 13th, tensions in our home run high. Blood pressure rises and sentences get short and clipped. I was soooo happy it was going to be totally different this year!!!! Not so.....

He dabbled in them every now and then. I'll give him that. But, last night, when he got home from work, I said, "Now, you KNOW you can't have any fun tonight until taxes are DONE!" He rolled his eyes, and sat down at the computer with a moan.

It's funny how adults can quickly revert to being children when things like taxes, or college homework, or even weeding the garden come up. We start to pout, hang our head, our lower lip juts out. We start to find little things that need to be done.... cleaning lint out of the belly button, plucking frayed bristles from our tooth brush.... anything, to avoid doing the one thing that needs to be done!

I made a chocolate cake to give hubby some incentive to do the taxes. I told him he couldn't have any until the taxes were all done. Out goes the lower lip. After about an hour, I sensed he needed some major pick-me-up so I went ahead and brought in the large piece of warm cake with a cold glass of milk. Happily he consumed it, then went back to working, (with a little prompting). After a few "Merritt.... you can't watch t.v. right now..... Merritt, what are you supposed to be doing right now?.... Merritt...... your zits can wait...." All in all, I didn't have to do as much proding as I thought. Maybe this year was better!

I'm happy to say, the taxes were finally finished just before 10pm.... a record, I think. I will get them in the mail today. I did the state taxes this morning... it's the least I can do to contribute! Actually, Merritt says he wants to look over my work to make sure he understands how the state taxes work, but I know it's to make sure I did them right! I think I'll go eat a piece of cake, myself. Tax time is hard!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Blessing Dress Bliss!

I finished the blessing dress for my neice, Aurora, today. It took me a long time, but I am pleased with the finished product! I can't wait to see her in it! Here are lots of pictures of it!
Here is the front with the coat done up This is a close-up of the coat

Here is the dress

This is a close-up of the dress bow-

-And the hat and booties

and finally the back of the coat-

Is that your child stuck to the wall?

Reading a friend's blog made me think about something. I rarely like other people's kids. Let me clarify- I rarely like tending other people's kids. While growing up, I didn't do a lot of babysitting. I have to say it's something I really haven't felt the loss of in my adult life. I often wondered at what kind of mother I'd be, having not had much experience in the kid-watching arena. Sure, I knew how to change a diaper, feed a kid, wipe their nose, etc. But wasn't sure if I'd even LIKE my kid. I don't seem to have much patience for other people's kids.

You see, other people's kids have perpetually runny noses, extremely dirty faces, smell funny, whine a lot, have sticky hands with fuzz between the fingers, full, saggy diapers, and don't know they're not supposed put their dirty hands all over my walls... you get the idea. When I worked in the nursery at churh, I really saw what other people's kids can be like. Some people don't think to smell their kid's diaper before they drop them off for you to handle. Some people don't see the cheerios stuck to their kid's head! How is that? Some people don't care that their child cannot breathe because their left nostril is entirely plugged up with crusty gunk! Come on, people! Take some pride in your child's appearance!

Ok, so before you start thinking, "How can she not like MY sweet kids?" I have to say, that when a kid is clean, and happy, and diaper-changed, I am easy to please! Give me a cuddly kid without a sucker or soggy cracker in his hand any day! I'm sure you all feel the same way about other people's kids- come on--- admit it! So, I'm sure I've scared you all away from ever having me tend your little ones. Hey, I don't mind watching them now and then! Really! Just wash em up, change their diaper, load em up with Benedryl- oops, did I say that out loud? No, really. Most of the people I associate with have really cute kids. Really! Because they take pride in their children, and themselves! It's the ones that don't that ruin it for the rest of us!

Wow. Kind of a snotty post, huh? Well, we can't always be sunshine and daisies, right?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Losing myself in a sea of Testosterone!

I am a girly-girl. When I was little, I always wanted to do my sister's hair, but she hated it! She didn't like the fru-fru-ness of it all. I dreamed of the day I could wear make-up. I reveled in the times when I'd spend hours at the hair salon, being pampered, and coming out looking fabulous. I would always, always, ALWAYS wear a dress on the first day of school- I'd have it picked out for weeks! I had every Barbie imaginable, complete with Barbie Motor Home, Salon, Summer Home, Shoe Store,swimming pool,and miles and miles of outfits, but only one Ken to go around. (We'd play "soap opera" alot.) So, why is it that my little sister has all the girls? Life can be cruel.

My sister is now a total fashion diva. (Yes, Lauren, it's true!) She has long, gorgeous hair, has always been thin, wears totally up-to-the-minute fashion, and her girls are the cutest things imaginable! She gets her hair cut in a salon now- mine is cut in my bathroom by yours truly. Do I sound like I'm coveting and jealous? I guess it's just that I'm missing that connection to my girliness.

I'm surrounded by boys on every side! I live in a house with 5 male-types! (hubby, son, dog, bird, father). I used to do my nails every other day in college- now I only notice them when one breaks. My hair is usually pulled up into two pig-tails because I just don't see the point in doing anything more.

Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now because I've been making this totally prescious blessing dress for my niece, and wishing I had a little girl to dress in pretty things. Of course, it would be my luck to have a girl who hates to wear dresses! Wouldn't that be ironic? I'll just put my dog in something frilly and try to get some joy from that. Yes, he's a boy.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Someone's blogging about me... my nose itches!

My Saucy Frocks are going to be featured on The Stumbly Diva Wednesday,
April 10th!!! She found me somehow on Etsy, and wanted to do a little blog about me! Yippeeee!!!!! So, check it out! I'm sure she'd appreciate the traffic on her blog, too!

Plugging myself

In case you don't read my other blog. This was a funny experience!

The Invisible Woman!

This morning I got out of bed earlier than I usually do, the sun was shining, the birds were too frozen to chirp, but would have if they could have, I was a little more awake than usual... probably because I woke up 2 hours earlier and couldn't get back to sleep.This sounds like I may have been in a good mood, but that would be wrong. I was teetering on losing it entirely!

Anyway, I jumped out of bed and (faking) happily went into Eason's room to wake him up. I used to sit on his bed and tickle his face and sing a really annoying "Good Morning" song. He'd get really mad, but it would get him up. Now his bed is over 5 feet off the ground, and I'd have to climb aaaaaall the way up there, so I just stand below and happily say "Time to get uuuuppp...... Eeeeaaasssooonnn........ time to get uuuuuupppp!" If he doesn't get up I will start singing the annoying "Good Morning" song he hates, and push up on his mattress. Thus, establishing the fact that every child MUST hate when his mom comes to wake him up in the morning!

Well, this morning, he didn't get up. No matter what I did. I thought I'd give him a few minutes, so I crept back into my room to wake up my hubby. I put my hand on his back, I gently stroked his arm..... "Sweeeeetttttiiieeeeeeee".... nothing. "ooohhh,
Sweeeettttteeeeeeeee........" still nothing. I called out to Eason again, and still no movement or reply. Once again, I gently whispered to hubby to get up.... yet again, nothing.

Dejected, I tromped over to my side of the bed,"Fine, I'll be invisible!" I said, and climbed in the covers pulling my pillow onto my head. Why should I always have to be the one to get everyone else up in the morning???? Let someone else do it for a change and see how they like it!!!! If Eason never gets up.... fine with me! I am only half of the parent unit here..... I will only get him up HALF of the time!

Well, my pouting worked. My hubby got up a few minutes later and got the kid up. I stayed in bed. I'm glad. There was nothing much to get up for today, anyway. So there!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Booties and Conference

This weekend was our church's General Conference. Which means, ( in the way my son explains it:)" we don't go to church... we watch it on t.v., and lots of people give really long talks and I get to wear regular clothes and color." Well.... ya, it's sort of like that.

Actually, with Eason getting older, I thought I'd have him stick around a little more for conference this year. I printed off a conference packet my sis. in law sent, and he had a lot of fun coloring the pictures and doing the puzzles. He even asked questions about some of the talks, and sat very quietly during the prophet's talk. I've never seen him be so good!

I sat and crocheted the whole time. I am making a blessing dress for my little niece, and thought a little hat and booties would be cute. I've never made booties before. I made one and it turned out really cute, but looked a bit too big. The second one turned out better, and was smaller. I guess I'll try them on her and see which one fits her better! My Mother-in-law said she didn't know I knew how to crochet... well, I didn't know either! How hard can it be, right?
I'll post the whole dress when it's done.

Friday, April 4, 2008

The Old News Guys Who've Been Around The Block.... and Back!

This post is for my beloved sister.... William. ( I didn't put her given name here for family harmony, but this is the real nickname I gave her when I was trying to convince her she was a boy several years back.) I dedicate this post to my one and only sister because part of who she is now is due to the influences of my topic in this post. I'm sure you have heard, and if you haven't, I am happy to announce the come-back of the beloved and oh-so-heart-throb inducing


What? You wonder what on EARTH I am talking about???? You are probably too young then. But those of you who's heart just skipped a beat.... and you know who you are.... will probably feel the world is headed in the right direction once more. I cannot claim a particular admiration for the group, myself. However, my sister and I bonded over several viewings of their rockumentary: "Step By Step".

My sister would sit and drool over the screen. Her pulse would quicken whenever her crush-for-the-moment would appear on screen. Her crushes changed daily. I do, however, have to own up that I, too suffered from this problem, not with the NKOTB, though... my old journals are filled with ever-changing crushes, some had multiple crushes per entry.

I also must admit that I did, at some point in their career, happen to think that maybe Jordan Knight was a little cute.... maybe.....
My sister could really do a lot of their dance moves, something I tried once and will never recover from. We really bonded over these viewings and discussions. I learned a lot about my sister during this time. For one thing, she most definitely wasn't a boy!

So, when I read that the NKOTB were coming back, I had to smile and think of my little sister. The article I read said: "Once the man band was unveiled- with a drumroll and from behind a red velvet curtain set up outdoors- Wahlberg waisted no time in getting down to the business of the announcement." it brought a funny image to mind, though. I could see them set up on somebody's front porch in some rural neighborhood- very much like the one I live in now. I could see them draping an old red sheet above the front steps and having someone- probably Jordan Knight- play a drumroll on their portable synthesizer, and using the mic off of their little karaoke machine. A few old ladies would be peering out their windows, and their one fan... a woman in her early 30's, would be screaming and pulling at her hair while her children stand horrified at the scene their mother is displaying for these nobody's! It actually reminded me of a show on tv about a 2 man band who is trying to make it big, and failing miserably. They have one fan who follows them everywhere and goes crazy over them.

So, William, I say to you, congratulations! You can get a piece of your youth back! It's a rare gift.... treasure it! I think young mothers everywhere will be rejoicing at this news. I think they'll have to change their name, though. It just doesn't work now. They're not new, and they're certainly not kids anymore. Ok, the youngest one may have reached puberty by now. Maybe they can be the "Thirty something has-beens trying to reconnect with long-lost fame and fortune, trying to fit into tiny leather pants, guys on the block". Let's see, that would be TSHBTRWLFFTFITLPGOTB....
hmmmm........ maybe not that.

A Few of My Favorite Things.....

I've read a few blogs lately that have listed many of the person's favorite things... or hated things. I think it is pretty cool.... a good way to get to know a person. So, I am challenging myself to do the same. Today, I will list my favorite things... for a positive note!


Knowing Heavenly Father is there for me
The smell of baking chocolate chip cookies on a rainy day
Cold bed sheets
Cold tile under my bare feet
Bath and Body Works body cream rubbed on my feet by hubby's warm hands!!!
Hot Chocolate on a cold morning
Hugs from my little boy
The smell of my dog's feet
The way my dog wakes me up each morning
My red car
Homey scented candles
Creating aprons
Men who hold the door for me (my son does this all the time!)
My heating pad
Leftover spaghetti with lots of parmesan cheese
Cute shoes!
Coloring my hair
Jeans that make you look skinnier
Wearing skirts and dresses
The smell of autumn
My nieces and nephews
Going to lunch with my Mom
Going on a date with my hubby
General Conference weekend
Park City's Outlet stores
Period romance novels and movies
Fancy restaurants... (which I never get to go to)
Perfectly re-creating a meal from a fancy restaurant
Singing a solo in church
Duets with my hubby
Harry Potter books and movies
Time to myself to go to craft stores
Girl's night out
Whoppers and Popcorn
Dollar movies
Bourne Trilogy
Feather pillows
Expensive perfume
Red Lipstick
Old musicals
The internet!!!!!

Ok... well, I could go on and on, but my son seems to think that his mom shouldn't be on the computer all morning. Maybe he's right!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Fa La La La Loosin' It!!!!!

Ok, yesterday it snowed! Not just a light spring dusting.... a real, honest-to-goodness snow fall. I had to actually shovel! It was March 31st!!!! I am ready for the spring. I'm not just saying that.... I am REEEEEEEEALLLY ready for spring. Like, I am going to pull my hair out and run around wearing my clothing backwards if it doesn't get warm soon.

My son is feeling it, too. He was supposed to go on a field trip yesterday to Red Butte Gardens, but it got cancelled because why pay for a bus ride to go look at snow on the ground when you can see it for free right there at school??? He was pretty bummed about that.

Today, my son had a total melt down. He isn't the type of kid that usually loses his cool. He's a pretty go-with-the-flow type of person. But this morning, BOY HOWDY!!!!
I wasn't quite sure he was going to make it to school. He came in to my bedroom this morning, and said he was trying to figure out a way to avoid a certain kid at school. I asked why, and found out this kid has been bothering him. With further probing, I found out that this kid wants to be his friend, but is a little exhuberant in his attentions. Eason doesn't like to be mauled by his friends.

Then, he proceeded to tell me that he doesn't have any friends.
"Well.... I only have 3..... well, maybe 4...... ok, I have 5 friends..... but that's all".

"Wow! 5 friends is a lot! Why do you think you want more?"

"Well..... as soon as I get more friends, I get sick of playing with them, and I want to find someone else to play with. Then they get mad at me and don't want to play with ME anymore."

"Do you think maybe your friends have hurt feelings when you don't want to play with them anymore?"

" Yes, but they never want to do what I want to do."

"Do you ever play what they want to play for a change?"


"Do you think they'd want to play with you if you played what they play?"

*more silence*

"MOM! YOU'RE JUST A GROWN-UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PLAYING WITH FRIENDS!"and there it is..... the statement that every child is destined to utter, that every parent is doomed to hear! I have reached a new level of parenting. I thought it would feel better, somehow, knowing that I am still on track as a parent. Surely the "I hate you" phase will be coming soon. Can I gauge my affectiveness as a parent by the angry outbursts of my child? I would think so.

At any rate, I think it can still be attributed to this stinking weather! I am liabel to drastically color my hair or take out the scissors and start hacking away out of desperation! (I tend to take out my frustrations on my poor defenseless hair). I will try to make it just one..... more....... day............