Watch Out, Folks! She's About To Blow!

I have come to the sad conclusion that I am a grouchy hag! I think the stress of marriage and motherhood are to blame. Don't misunderstand me, I actually LOVE being married to my sweet hubby, and wouldn't trade my little buddy for anything in the world! But those of you in my same situation know that throwing a husband and a child into the mix creates... well.... more stress.

I remember in high school, I was known as the spunky girl- always happy and cheerful, bubbling over with giddiness. (Yes, I was also extremely boy crazy, that might have had something to do with it... maybe.) A kid in my class came up to me once and said, "Erin.... Why are you always so damn happy?" I will never forget the dry, slightly perturbed tone in his voice when he said it. But it made me proud that I could be so annoyingly happy.

College was not much different, really. Yes, I was still boy crazy, a disorder that didn't really correct itself until I donned the wedding dress and ate the piece of cake from my new hubby's hand.( Which he so lovingly did NOT smash into my face- the first right decision he made in our married life.) College was carefree- except for finals and vocal juries (Ach! That stomach pain again!) But how was I to know that the stresses they would bring were virtual Marshmallow Peeps compared with the stresses of "real" adulthood?

I went from a life of me, me, me, me, me... what do I want for dinner tonight? What movie will I see tonight? Do I want to sleep in today.... yes I do, so I will! To, what will my hubby and son eat, what movie will not drive hubby from the room rolling his eyes and making fake gagging noises, do I want to sleep in today because I was up all night with a sick child... yes I do, but I can't because I have to get up and take care of everybody else!!!!! I run errands now to pick up someone else's prescriptions, someone else's soccer gear, someone else's school uniform. You get the idea. It's usually 3:00 pm before I actually run a comb through my hair and eat breakfast!

I realized I must complain a lot last night when my son informed me he had to go lie down because he had a headache. Kids don't get headaches! I realized that line came directly from my mouth to his ears! I try not to complain, really I do. I actually like to serve my family, usually! It makes me happy to make their favorite meals. I love when we all snuggle together on the couch and watch some silly old swashbuckling movie because Dad likes action, Son needs a movie with nothing too scarey, Mom needs a few hours to sit and vegge.

I also realized that I seem like I have little to no patience for anything anymore. Actually, I have more patience than a hospital! (get it? a play on words? Oh, never mind, I can't wait around all day for you to get my stupid jokes!) I have developed more patience and long suffering because I am a wife and mother. I haven't off'd my family in a fit of rage have I? See, iron patience! But, with patience comes side effects- headaches, slight twiches, sudden bursts of freaking out followed by uncontrolled sobbing followed by half a pint of Ben and Jerry's followed by much apologizing and hugs.

I don't think I'm really that much different from other women in my situation, really. I think we women have developed a way to put on a happy face so we can power through it all and hope for the rainbow at the end. I'd settle for a dishwasher or a large closet at the end! I actually long for the day when someone says "Erin, why are you always so *&%$ happy?" Probably when I'm old and senile. I am beginning to think that senility is nature's way of rewarding you for all your patience!