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Monday, April 28, 2008

Watch Out, Folks! She's About To Blow!

I have come to the sad conclusion that I am a grouchy hag! I think the stress of marriage and motherhood are to blame. Don't misunderstand me, I actually LOVE being married to my sweet hubby, and wouldn't trade my little buddy for anything in the world! But those of you in my same situation know that throwing a husband and a child into the mix creates... well.... more stress.

I remember in high school, I was known as the spunky girl- always happy and cheerful, bubbling over with giddiness. (Yes, I was also extremely boy crazy, that might have had something to do with it... maybe.) A kid in my class came up to me once and said, "Erin.... Why are you always so damn happy?" I will never forget the dry, slightly perturbed tone in his voice when he said it. But it made me proud that I could be so annoyingly happy.

College was not much different, really. Yes, I was still boy crazy, a disorder that didn't really correct itself until I donned the wedding dress and ate the piece of cake from my new hubby's hand.( Which he so lovingly did NOT smash into my face- the first right decision he made in our married life.) College was carefree- except for finals and vocal juries (Ach! That stomach pain again!) But how was I to know that the stresses they would bring were virtual Marshmallow Peeps compared with the stresses of "real" adulthood?

I went from a life of me, me, me, me, me... what do I want for dinner tonight? What movie will I see tonight? Do I want to sleep in today.... yes I do, so I will! To, what will my hubby and son eat, what movie will not drive hubby from the room rolling his eyes and making fake gagging noises, do I want to sleep in today because I was up all night with a sick child... yes I do, but I can't because I have to get up and take care of everybody else!!!!! I run errands now to pick up someone else's prescriptions, someone else's soccer gear, someone else's school uniform. You get the idea. It's usually 3:00 pm before I actually run a comb through my hair and eat breakfast!

I realized I must complain a lot last night when my son informed me he had to go lie down because he had a headache. Kids don't get headaches! I realized that line came directly from my mouth to his ears! I try not to complain, really I do. I actually like to serve my family, usually! It makes me happy to make their favorite meals. I love when we all snuggle together on the couch and watch some silly old swashbuckling movie because Dad likes action, Son needs a movie with nothing too scarey, Mom needs a few hours to sit and vegge.

I also realized that I seem like I have little to no patience for anything anymore. Actually, I have more patience than a hospital! (get it? a play on words? Oh, never mind, I can't wait around all day for you to get my stupid jokes!) I have developed more patience and long suffering because I am a wife and mother. I haven't off'd my family in a fit of rage have I? See, iron patience! But, with patience comes side effects- headaches, slight twiches, sudden bursts of freaking out followed by uncontrolled sobbing followed by half a pint of Ben and Jerry's followed by much apologizing and hugs.

I don't think I'm really that much different from other women in my situation, really. I think we women have developed a way to put on a happy face so we can power through it all and hope for the rainbow at the end. I'd settle for a dishwasher or a large closet at the end! I actually long for the day when someone says "Erin, why are you always so *&%$ happy?" Probably when I'm old and senile. I am beginning to think that senility is nature's way of rewarding you for all your patience!


Heather said...

You ust let me know the next time you lose patience and I'll bring over the Ben and Jerry's. This happens to me daily so I'd be happy to share the love!