"Jack Sparrow doesn't smile"

I finished the Jack Sparrow costume for my son. I think it turned out really awesome! Actually, I was surprised at how well it turned out. However, when my son put it on last night, he didn't crack a smile. I asked him if he liked it and he said "Ya... it's good", in a ho-hum sort of way. I asked him if there was something wrong with it, and he said, "nothing". Finally, I got really frustrated and said, "Sweetie, if you like it, and there's nothing wrong with it, why don't you smile?"

"Jack Sparrow doesn't smile."

Oh. Ok!

Holiday Boutique Show!!!!

Holiday Craft Fair

Saturday November 1st 10 AM -5 PM

Rockwell Charter High School
3435 E. Stonebridge Lane
Eagle Mountain, UT

Sponsored by the Mei Wei club

Come get some early shopping done, and of course, my fun aprons will be there too!

Phone call from security company...

This is the call I received at Walmart the other day at about 1:20- 1 1/2 hours before my son's school gets out:

"Hello?"

"Uh... ya, Ma'am... " a heavily southern accented woman comes on, "This is Pinnacle Security, we received a call that your alarm just went off. Someone there named *bleep* answered. Thank you." click (my son's name isn't *bleep*, by the way, but it was added to protect his identity!)

What? I was stunned! Why would my son be home from school at this time? Something must be horribly wrong! I ran through my head why he could be home. We had parent teacher conferences this week, but they ALWAYS send something home saying school will be out early, and they ALWAYS put it on the calandar, which I have hanging on my wall and check EVERY STINKIN DAY!!!! Ok, breathe.

I call my husband who works only 3 minutes from home.

"Sweetie- I need you to borrow someone's car and run home. I just got a call from the security company that *Bleep* is home!"

"What the *bleep* is *Bleep* doing home?!"

"I don't know! That's why I need you to go check on him!"

"Well... aren't YOU home? You're ALWAYS home!"

"No... I'm NOT ALWAYS HOME!!!!" (me, beginning to LOSE IT!) "I'm buying antifreeze for the car, now GET HOME!!!!"

Come to find out, school really was let out early for Parent Teacher conferences. Hmmmmm.... that would have been a good thing to put on the calender, don't you think?

The ladies at the office were sure everyone already knew school was let out early, because it is every year. Ya? Well, some of us need to HAVE IT IN WRITING!!!!!!

breathe!

Ok. Well, it prompted us to teach him what to do if mommy and daddy aren't home when you get home from school. He now knows where to find the secret key, how to unlock the door, how to deactivate the alarm, and who to call if he's in trouble. Whew!

I can't help feeling guilty that I wasn't home when he got here. I keep checking the school calendar, but it is the same every time- no early day! So, It's not my fault, right?

At least we know our security system works. Oh, and that it takes approximately 20 minutes from the time the cops are called to the time they actually show up. Oh, and
it takes me only 7 minutes (approx.) to move our television. Nice to know!

So I'm a little OCD....

Some people get really crazy at Halloween. I mean, decorate their houses, yards, blogs, selves with halloween decorations. We all know that lady who paints her fingernails black and puts a streak of green in her hair- the entire month of October, and she's 65 years old! Or the family down the street who have 10 different inflatable yard decorations of Frankenstein, pumpkins, ghosts, etc. Well, I'm not one of those people. Not that they don't have their place in society, and not that I don't appreciate their efforts on this holiday- I do! I love halloween! But I don't go all out decorating for it.

I do have one fatal flaw, though:

I am a total costume perfectionist. I admit it. I can't bring myself to purchase a costume, it must be homemade. I wasn't always this way, though. As a children, my brother, sister, and I would come up with a costume idea the night before Halloween, and then change costumes after school and trick-or-treat as something completely different. I remember my store-bought princess Leigh costume- my face got all sweaty. But, most of the costumes were impromptu and still turned out great.

My problem now is, I can't bring myself to do the same for my kid. I can't bring myself to let him throw a costume together at the last minute, or get one at the dollar store. I have to make it, and it has to be 100% authentic, or professionally done, or whatever. I know, I'm nuts- it is true!

Last year he wanted to be an alien, so this is what I came up with: Green patent leather, silver lame, 3 fingered gloves, boots, and glow in the dark paint. It took me 3 days to complete, but he looked awesome!


This year, I don't know what I was thinking agreeing to let him be Jack Sparrow. I can't let myself cut corners, so it's gonna take me days! I mean, full length jacket, vest, shirt, pants, boots, sash... it's crazy!

It's like I am out of my body watching myself do this crazy thing, and I'm powerless to stop it! The ladies at the fabric store were looking at me like I'm a crazy freak for going to all this trouble to make a costume, and I agreed with them! "You're making the coat and everything?" But, I have one child, and it is really fun making these things, so I guess I'll keep doing it.

I guess maybe I should sell them on ebay or Craig's list when he can't wear them anymore. That would at least make my husband happier!

5 things about me...

Ok, this is for Whitnie- (and anyone else who cares!)

5 years ago
1. I was chasing around a 2 year old!
2. We were trying to find a new renter for our basement apartment
3. I was leading the music in primary- twice each Sunday!
4. My husband had just started a new job
5. I was in North Carolina visiting my mom- (I think?)

5 Things on my list for today
1. finish laundry
2. Mop kitchen floor
3. fill car with antifreeze
4. get fabric for son's halloween costume
5. make fantastic dinner to celebrate our ACTUAL anniversary- today!

5 snacks I enjoy
1. almonds
2. cheese and apples
3. crunchy grapes
4. oreos and milk- with cream scraped out from middle
5. trail mix



5 things I would do if I was a millionaire
1. pay off my house
2. move to Cache Valley
3. give money to siblings and in-law siblings to help pay their homes off
4. help hubby open his own business
5. set up scholarship for average grade students with potential

5 places I have lived
1. Salt Lake City, UT
2. Riverton, UT
3. Rexburg, ID
4. Logan, UT
5. Bountiful, UT


5 jobs I have had
1. display designer at Rag's dept. store
2. sales at ZCMI
3. manager of copy center for 3 law firms and Utah Power and Light
4. voice teacher through USU
5. owner, designer of Saucy Frocks aprons

5 people I tag
I don't think I'll tag anyone specifically. Feel free to do it if you want!

Lessons from this weekend...

I learned:

1) If I try to plan my anniversary, it gets me upset. I gave up planning it, and we had a great weekend! Next year, I won't plan it again. Oh, and I didn't expect a gift either, (though I have expected/ hoped for one in the past), and my husband ended up buying me one on our date- so, there you go! No expectations = Great Anniversary!

2) Sometimes the things you say over and over and over and over to your child actually get heard. I sent my kid to my sister-in-law's this weekend and she told me one morning she was telling the kids to get stuff cleaned up and my very own fruit of my womb said: "Ya, kids, let's get this stuff cleaned up. Work before play!" I heard angels sing when she told me this! ( I also cringed a little at hearing the very words from my mouth repeated like that. Boy, I really sound like a mom! Freaky!)

3) If you eat at a Brazillian grill (ie: Tucano's), don't plan on being able to walk normally for at least 30 minutes after your meal, and refrain from smelling any meat for another 24 hours. And whatever you do, DO NOT eat that last bite, even though you really want it, your body knows when to stop. DON'T DO IT!!!!!

4) Don't watch a really funny movie with Ricky Gervais after eating at a Brazillian grill. Especially one with a scene where he is gagging! Not a good idea!

5) Don't watch "Emma Smith" and "Saving Sarah Cain" back to back, while alone at your mother's house. Your eyes will swell shut.

6) Don't let your 7 year old son sleep in the same bed with you when you are hoping for a good night's sleep. No matter how much he begs- don't do it! He'll end up laying his head on your feet, putting his feet in your face, yelling in his sleep, climbing up to lay on your back, and making your life miserable! He thinks it's funny, too.

7) Don't expect your husband to know NOT to remove the tray from the new wax- melting candle warmer and tip it sideways spilling the contents all over your collection of "Twilight" books. True, my 7 year old knew not to do it, but husbands require special instructions.

Those are the lessons I learned this weekend!

What I've learned in 9 years...

On October 22nd, I will have been married for 9 years! Woo Hoo!!!! Yep, we have already surpassed most Hollywood couples- a thing of which I am most proud, indeed.

What's our secret?

1) Just pick up the socks, and don't complain. I have long since learned that certain people's socks will forever not make it into the hamper, and if you just pick them up, life is happier for everyone.

2) If you take a minute every few days to smooth out the toothpaste tube from the end, and remove your long hair from the shower drain, marital unity is one step closer.

3) a little (three letter word inserted here) goes a long way!

4)Always give your husband the last bite of dessert off your plate. (And make it seem like you planned to give it to him all along.) Yes, true- he already had a heaping helping of his own, but for some reason, that last bite is all he needs (except for #3) to be happy.

5) ALWAYS tell your husband exactly how much you saved on a frivolous purchase before telling him you purchased it. (then add #3!)

6) 5-6 action packed movies (preferably with lots of blood and maybe some aliens) must be watched to equal the emotional and psychological torture experienced for every 1 chick flick/ Jane Austen movie he watches with you.

7) Husbands take you out to nice restaurants, not because you like the break and want a nice meal you didn't have to cook, but so you will learn how to make it at home so they don't have to take you out as much!

8) Your marriage will last longer if you enliven it often watching funny episodes of your favorite t.v. show in bed, with popcorn and Fresca.

9) Go a few days every now and then without showering or doing your hair. When you finally do dress up again, you'll get a big "wow", and he'll remember how hot he thought you were when he met you. (again, a #3 here would be good- after the shower, of course!)

10) Go on road trips together. Put squirt cheese on crackers and add pieces of ham or turkey. Gently place into his mouth while he is driving. Read a good book to him, and never fall asleep. You're on this road trip together, remember.

11) If you are reading "Twilight" and happen to fall in love with the main character, and your husband rolls his eyes whenever he sees you drooling over it,(which happens to be every night as he comes to bed, hoping for #3) just make your husband feel better by saying "You know...reading this, I just can't help picturing you in the role of Edward- you'd be perfect!" and all is well.

12) Flatter him often, saying things like: "Honey, I just love it when you scrub the toilet and shower with no shirt on! Your bulging muscles are soooo....bulging. Will you do it again for me?" You'll have a sparkly clean bathroom all the time!

13) Laugh at his jokes, even if you've heard them before, (they are still funny). And ask about his day, even if you know it was awful. Then be willing to listen to his complaints about imbecile bosses and incompetent workmates, and follow with a shoulder rub. Smile, and be glad you have such a wonderful person to spend eternity with.

I'm counting to three, and then....

We are all destined to parent pretty much the same way we were parented. It's unavoidable- admit it. I mean, although we may try not to sound like our parents, we inevitable end up doing just that. I have come to grips with this fact in my own life. I know that when my son is misbehaving, I will inadvertantly snap my fingers and point- classic "my mom" move. My brother and sister and I used to make fun of my mom by doing just that. I know my son will eventually do the exact same thing. Sorry, kid.

Another thing I never tried consciously to do, but have ended up doing quite frequently, is counting to 3. I give my son until the count of 3 to do something when I've lost my patience with him. (this usually comes after the snapping and pointing, which isn't always effective). If I get to number 3, he knows he is in big trouble, and will end up losing video games, or friends, or something cherished. I find counting to 3 works really well. I did try just skipping one and two all together once, but it really didn't turn up good results, so I stick with the old reliable formula.

Well, now that my little guy is getting older and smarter- (I wouldn't say wiser, because it isn't wise to push your mom's buttons when you are misbehaving)- he is finding out that some rules could be bent if we let them. The counting to three rule, for example. We went to a concert last night to hear my husband sing in a choir. I warned my son to be on his BEST behavior. The first song he was very fidgety, and wanting to whisper to me throughout. I told him repeatedly not to whisper during the song, but he was having trouble obeying. Finally, since I couldn't snap, I went directly to the finger pointing and began holding up one finger, then two, and as the third finger was coming up he finally caught on that I was counting silently. He suddenly got a very panicked look on his face and whispered to me:

"Mom, can't we just make it 4 this time?"

I never in my wildest dreams ever even thought of asking my mom to make it 4! That would have given me one whole other number before I had to stop what I was doing and obey! Gee, my kid is so smart! But, alas, the rule is:
"The number thou shalt count to is 3. Thou shalt begin with 1 and then move upword to 2, wherein thou shalt pause for a brief second to give said child time to realize his impending doom. Then, thou shalt count up to 3. If you go on to 4, you have gone too far. 3 is the number."

He'll catch on someday. I wonder how many other freaky things he'll pick up from his parents. Hmmmmm.....

What life is REALLY like in our home-

This was a tag from Heather, but I thought, you know, maybe I should answer these questions truthfully so here it goes...

1. What is a smell that reminds you of home? freshly lit furnace on the first cold day of the year. Ya, it stinks, but it also reminds me of home!
2. How do you keep socks organized? I match the ones with matches and throw the rest back in the laundry. They're sure to end up with a match eventually, right?
3. How do you keep your whites bright? I have long since given up on bright whites. Now I wash all whites with a red sock- that way they stay pink!
4. What is your favorite boredom buster? Making my kid fold his own laundry- it's really fun to watch what a fuss he will make over folding underwear!
5. What hints would you give a young mother for sacrament reverence? Try not to write notes to your husband, or sing the hymns "Sound of Music" style, or play thumb war with your kids. Oh, did you mean hints for the kids?
6. What tips do you have for painting? Wait until the kids have grown and moved out, then invite them over to paint the house for you.
7. How do you remove hard water and rust stains from sinks? Move to a newer house, otherwise, get used to it. You'll miss them when they're gone.
8. What's the best way to kill weeds in a flower bed? Total vegetation killer does a pretty good job. Yes, it kills all living things around, but you don't have weeds either- just morning glory.
9. What is the best parenting advice you have been given? this advice was from my son: "Mom, just don't get mad." So, there you go.
10. What is the most fun date you have been on in the last year? Oh, this one is a good one! One time we got a sitter and drove 5 minutes to the dollar movie where we saw some flick we could almost hear all the dialog, and then got 2 for 1 corn dogs at Arctic Circle after. Yea, that was a date to remember.
11. How do you keep a car uncluttered and clean? I pretend the mess isn't there. If I don't see it, does it really exist?
12. What is you favorite cleaning product? My spit on my finger!

13. Favorite two or three step recipe...easy but good? Get Tortilla, sprinkle pre-grated cheese on it, zap in microwave. Serve with salsa. Ok, that's 4 steps. Sorry.
14. What is the most helpful cook book you own? I use my head as my cookbook. Sorry.
15. Any food storage tips? Don't leave an open bag of cheerios in the cupboard, upside down.
16. What is the favorite thing hanging on your walls? My son. He's in a Spiderman faze- hopefully it'll pass soon.
17. What do you use for Family Home Evening lessons? Someday, I will use the example of my husband and son whining every time I try to give a FHE lesson, as a good lesson on how NOT to act when your mom has planned a FHE lesson.
18. Grocery shopping hints to save money? Don't have very many kids!
19. What is something you admire about your parent's relationship? My Step-dad told my son: "Boy... I just do whatever your Grandma tells me, even if I don't want to. It's just easier that way." I really like that philosophy!
20. Do you have a family motto or mission statement? Well, we keep saying over and over, "We should have a mission statement", so I guess that's it.
21. How often do you do laundry? When I see my son going to school with last week's dinner all over the front of his pants... then it's time for laundry.
22. What is your favorite family tradition or vacation? I would love for it to be going to Hawaii every February, and Yellowstone every Fall, but we haven't done that yet.

23. If you had only ten minutes to tidy what would you do? Think of an excuse to not be home when company came over!
24. How do you help motivate children to do chores? Threats work wonders around our house! I used to try to persuade gently, but found the threats work immediately.
25. What is your most read children's book? I have a nervous twitch as I say this, but "Go Dog, Go"- I still have nightmares whenever I hear that title.

Silly Me!

Knowing myself means I have to come to grips with the fact that I will always do stupid things. I will always drop the eggs I am trying to crack for a cake or an omelet, I will always slip and fall in broad daylight in front of all the people walking in and out of Costco, I will always raise my hand to make a comment, only to have it come out sounding all wrong. I am the one who, on a day I am feeling great and lookin like a million dollars, has a total stranger tell her "Um... you have lipstick all over your teeth!". I am the one who walked up to a cousin I hadn't seen in years and years to say hello, and I had a huge glob of mustard on my chin! Yep, me. I am the girl who, upon seeing my all-time favorite english teacher in High School, ran up to hug her and she said, "Um.. I don't really remember you, but hi." Do you get the picture?

I am the one who, in front of a courtroom full of potential jurors, interrupted the judge who was writing something and said, "Your Honor? I don't want to answer that question in front of a room full of strangers. Can I just tell you in private?" Yep, that was me! Then proceeded to get up to walk up to him and he had to tell me to sit down, he wouldn't do that yet. Yep- me. I am the one who got out on the wrong level at the court house, despite all the signs that said "No Public Access", and got trapped! Yep, that was me, again!

So, yes, I know myself. Am I ever going to change? I doubt it. I do these things inadvertantly. It is part of my chemical make-up. I usually just blush, laugh it off, and keep going on with my life.

Hopefully those of you who know me can accept these little hiccups as just a part of life with me. Just know, in those times I trip, or drop something, or spill all over my chest, or totally say the wrong thing... I am really trying to be normal! It just isn't possible for me!

Time for another Tag....

"I"

I am… not afraid to try new things.
I think… I was born in the wrong time. I should have been born in the 1930's.
I want… my son to have more friends to play with in our neighborhood
I have… cramps!
I miss… my sister and her sweet little children!!!!!
I hear… imaginary conversations in my head constantly.... is that normal?
I cry… much more than I did when I was younger.
I wish… I had a giant kitchen with miles of counter space and a dishwasher!
I care… too much about how I wish I looked.
I always… eat peanut butter sandwiches with potato chips. I don't like either of them without the other!
I worry… about our sad food storage.
I am not… ready to stop trying to have a baby.
I remember… so much about my childhood. I often wish I could go back to those simpler days!
I sing… in public but not alone in the shower. Strange, I know.
I don’t always… tell people what I really think and feel.
I argue… with my son about silly things like how long a minute really is.
I write… little love notes to my hubby when I go away from him for a while. I leave them everywhere- in the cupboards, drawers, closet, shoes, bathroom mirror...
I win… nothing! I am terrible at winning games, prizes, etc.
I lose… my mind when my child is having a whiny day, or my hubby is stressed about work, or I haven't been out of the house in 3 days straight!
I listen… to everyone and anyone who needs someone to talk to. Especially my hubby and son.
I don’t understand… people who are members of a religion but don't practice it.
I can usually be found… at my sewing machine or in the kitchen.
I need… to have a better self image.
I forget… movies I've watched. I can watch them over and over and never remember how they end!
I am happy… when I am spending time with my family doing something simple like reading or going on a car trip.

Jury Duty....

I got my summons in the mail a week ago.

I got one about a year ago, but didn't have to show up.

I just KNEW this time I'd have to show.... I knew it in my bones.

I woke up early this morning and got all dressed up in my nice dress pants and business attire, complete with 4 inch heels- you have to look taller, even when you're sitting, right?

I packed my briefcase with a book, granola bar, MP3 player, gum, quarters for the vending machines if need be, my cell phone, and a deck of cards. (the cards were actually already there from my trip to Europe- I just never took them out).

I drove to the court house downtown and walked in feeling all big and important. I thought I should tell everyone I saw "I am judging a case today... it's up to me! You'd better watch out, I'm on a jury today..." but I kept my crazy thoughts to myself.

I strode confidently into the court room and smiled at both attorneys, (you want to let them think you aren't some manic PMS-ing housewife who's ready to blow at the slightest off-putting remark, even though you are!)

I answered the questions truthfully and confidentally. Yes, I am a U.S. Citizen. Yes, I have been to college. No, I do not drink or smoke. Yes, I belong to a church that does not believe in alcohol consumption. Yes, I know someone who has been convicted of driving under the influence. Yes, I have very strong feelings about that.

I got dismissed.

I came home and celebrated with a glazed donut! Yay- no jury service for at least 2 more years!

Conference Sunday

I LOVE General Conference weekend! I love cleaning my house while being spiritually edified at the same time. I love making a yummy gourmet breakfast for my family while leisurely taking the morning easy. (Incidentally, yesterday's breakfast was Crab stuffed omelets with Hollandaise sauce, and homemade caramel apple sweet rolls)

Saturday, I sewed a new cover for my couch, and my sweet hubby helped pull the thick fabric through the sewing machine so I didn't lose my mind and get frustrated and give up. (Thanks, Sweetie!)

Yesterday, we listened to the whole second half of conference in bed- all of us together, snuggled up in our giant bed, even the dog! Unfortunately, this is a picture of my hubby and son "listening" to conference:


Neither of them admits to having fallen asleep, but neither knew I had taken the picture, either! My son later said, "Mom... when I watch it in bed, my body thinks it's time for bed!" So I guess we'll watch it sitting on the couch next time. Hey, at least he was watching, right????

Twilight Zone...

Last night my hubby, my son, and I were all gathered at the dinner table- (which, sadly to admit doesn't happen as often as I would like, sometimes I am just too tired and ornery to care about scintilating conversation, and we end up eating at the tv trays watching some dumb show- it doesn't happen EVERY night, but more than it should) Where was I? Oh yes, eating at the dinner table.

Daddy usually asks son "How was your day?" "What did you learn?" etc...

Last night the conversation went like this:

son- "Dad... How was work today?"
(we looked at eachother- I don't think my son has ever asked this question out of the blue like this... ever!)

dad- "Well... it was a pretty good day. I got a lot done, and Joe and I had a meeting and joked and laughed a lot."

son- "So... you weren't paying attention?"

(I about blew BBQ pork out of my nose- this was soooo funny! I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone- complete role reversal!)

Later, my son said:
"Mom, this dinner is really good. What exactly did you put in the pork to make it taste this way?"

Now I'm sharing baking secrets with my 7 year old?

OH, he also told me, earlier in the day when he saw me in a new dress, "Mom, I like your new dress. However, the back of your neck looks like an old lady, but the front of you looks really pretty!"

Gee.... thanks!