Cookies of the Devil

My friend posted about Girl Scout cookies on her blog. I am filled with mixed emotions about these little things:

Warm Fuzzies- because everyone loves G.S. cookies, right? They are like little boxes sent from Heaven to make our dreary lives a little sweeter.

Irritation- because the little G.S. who usually comes around every year to sell me my cookies didn't come this year. Why not? Have I not been a faithful consumer? Have I not greeted you with frantic hugs and kisses each time you've brought my order? Have I not send you flowers and singing telegrams weekly to remind you of how much I adore you? Have I not respected the restraining order you placed against me for harrassing you about when the next shipment of cookies would be coming? Where are you????????

Fear- Will I be able to control myself this year? Will I be able to stop at only 1 Samoa.... place the uneaten portion of Thin Mints gently back into the cupboard and walk away? Avoid the embarrasment of waking up on the bathroom floor covered in chocolate fudge smears and brown cookie crumbs with only a hazy memory of a blissful moment in the bedroom closet with just me and my box of Thin Mints?


Panic- Will I make it to the store in time to catch the Girl Scouts with their table all set up before they sell out of my desperately needed "FIX" of Samoas and Thin Mints? Will my marriage survive another year of "How many Thin Mints have YOU eaten today?" and "I thought I bought 3 boxes, but there's only one left". Or, "It's me or this box of cookies... you can't have us both".

However, at the end of the day, I accept that the inner struggle is over before it's even begun. It's good to know one's self, and I know that I will not be able to resist getting a few boxes as I leave the grocery store. I know I will not even sniff the contents of the first 2 boxes as my husband inhales them in less than a minute. I know I will eat way too many Samoas, and vow that I will NEVER buy them again.... until next year. I know myself. And so, finally, I am filled with the last emotion:

Peace- because G.S. cookies will always be around. People can't live without them, though they may try. Even people who have never seen or heard of them them somehow know they are around... and have the hope that someday they will find that inner peace that comes after you've recklessly eaten a whole roll of Thin Mints, followed by a cold glass of milk. They are a staple of huminity, proof that we are sentient beings, capable of greatness.

And so, I say, be they morsels of goodness or cookies of the devil, I will always look forward to Girl Scout cookie season, and the flood of emotions it brings.
Thank you Girl Scouts of America!!!!!!!