The Inevitable Post

It was meant to be.

I toyed with the thought of possibly NOT posting about it. I am an adult, and have much more pressing matters in my life.

But... I am also a dreamer, an imaginative daydreamer who loves to remain young at heart, and still thinks first kisses are the height of romance- that thinking about things that aren't real and couldn't possibly happen are more gratifying than dwelling on the daily, mundane rituals of a stay- at- home mom.

So, I decided to write the inevitable post- you know, the one about Twilight the Movie!


So, here it goes.

I went and saw Twilight yesterday with my friend. It was the middle of the day, my son was in school, I had laundry to do, dishes in the sink, shopping, vacuuming, you name it, but I chose to go see a movie about a girl in high school who falls in love with a vampire. Yes, I did it, and I am not ashamed to admit it!

Although I liked the film overall, I was sadly dissappointed that it wasn't as good as it could have been. I know nothing can meet the expectations of my imagination, but I have seen better done movies. The director did not do it justice, and I hope they get a different one for the next film. Yes, I do hope they make the rest of the books into movies. I could watch Robert Pattinson all day long. And I thought the casting of the other characters was pretty spot-on, as well.

But, this post is NOT about the movie, so much as it is about the need for us to step out of our "adult" roles once in a while, and that it is ok for us to just be a kid... at heart, of course.

As a mom, I am forced to view many cartoonish and childish movies with my son- movies I would NEVER have chosen to go to if I didn't have a kid. However, I never would have been introduced to Nemo, The Incredibles (which I had to keep telling my son to just "hold it" because I didn't want to miss anything!),or Sky High- a fantastically funny movie with a great soundtrack, you all should watch it!

I didn't sit through those movies saying, This couldn't really happen, fish don't talk like that. Or, No one is that strong and who walks around in their super hero suit anyway? I enjoyed the wonderful world of make-believe with my son, and I left happy and entertained!

So, what's wrong with thinking a vampire is the dream catch in a book you are reading- what's wrong with quickly doing the dinner dishes so you can sneak a few pages of Twilight in to see if Bella really does get the Vampire? What's wrong with walking into the theater proudly, as a 30-something-ish woman, and waiting with a quickened pulse for the beautiful Edward to make his appearance on the huge screen? Do I really think he exists? Of course not- dirty dishes exist, and un-swept floors, and dinner that needs to be made! That is reality, folks, and I have enough of that! I need an escape! I need a place I can go in my mind where the non-human eating vampire gets the girl, and I can imagine it could happen!


To conclude, I bring up an interview I saw on the Today Show. Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen was on, and hundreds of girls were screaming at him. He went over to one and asked her what is so great about Edward- why were they going so crazy over these books? The poor teenage girls didn't have the maturity and eloquence to say why- they just giggled and said, "because he's soooooo fine!" while they drooled over Pattinson. I, however, had the answer. Because I am an adult, and have life lessons behind me, I knew- the answer is that Edward embodies the steadfast and dedicated comittment that all women long for. He is unswayed in his devotion to his woman, and because he is imortal, his love for her will never die, just as he'll never die. Every woman wants that kind of devotion- and the fact that he is super-fine doesn't hurt, either.

So, if you've made it this far, you've reached the end! Go ahead, ladies, take a break from reality and go see "Twilight", then feel free to sigh like a teenage girl at the end!

Free Apron Giveaway!!!!

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P.S. to last posting...

Ok. I must take this moment to clear my husband's good name (which I will NOT mention here for his own privacy! And the fact that he would KILL me if I did, even though he has never read my blog in the 9 months since I started posting.)

So, I am here to say that my dear, sweet, kind, funny, loving hubby did NOT complain about the gift card. It was solely MY doing. I take all selfish responsibility on my own head!

I have no intent to hurt anyone's feelings. If you went out and got your entire family 7-11 gift cards for Christmas this year, great! I am just laughing because there's really NOTHING we would be getting at 7-eleven, except maybe gas, but there isn't one with a gas station anywhere around here. Oh, I guess we could buy a bunch of their burritos and get gas that way. (sorry- it's late.)

Anyway, don't reign evil thoughts onto my hubby's head. They can all be directed at me. I don't get as hurt by evil thoughts, anyway. I wear a special tin foil helmet to bed so evil thoughts don't get into my dreams!

Ungrateful child that I am!

Call me picky, ungrateful, whatever. My husband works 10 and 12 hour days at work, busting his butt to do his best for his company and bring a decent paycheck home. All he gets in return is emails saying, "Must work harder. Must sacrifice your families for the company so boss can make more money- it's your duty!"

So, I was very happy to hear that his supervisor was finally going to offer an incentive for all the extra hours put in. "It's about time", is what I said!

So, am I terrible for thinking the $50 gift card he received is, well, tacky?

Oh, did I mention it is a gift card to 7-eleven?????????

"Yes, I'd like 25 hot dogs please.....Oh, and can you throw in a few slurpees? "

Maybe his work is trying to kill off their dedicated employees, rather than try to find a good reason to fire them. That way they don't have to pay unemployment!

Goal setting....

Setting goals is not my forte. Either they are so far fetched they are completely unattainable, or they are so mediocre there's no point.

Yesterday, I thoguht I'd start with some simple goals- you know, some basic things to drive me to do a bit more, to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. They were:

1)Finish the laundry- meaning, all washed, folded, put away before hubby gets home

2)Wash the couch cover and pillow covers, dry, and put back on couch

3)Make 2 aprons

These were, what seemed at the time, very reasonable goals. When I told my husband what they were, he looked at me as though to say, "ok.... and then what else are you going to do?" I couldn't blame him, these weren't all day jobs.

At the end of the day, the laundry was NOT done, the couch cover was still in the washer, I hadn't even gotten downstairs at all to sew, and my kitchen was a bit of a mess. What did I do all day?????

I don't know, but it sure took all day to do it! So much for reaching my goals. Today, my goal is:

1) do something

I think I will feel better about myself when I can honestly say I reached my goal!

It's West Side Story in my dreams!

I had the strangest dream last night. Ok, I have strange dreams EVERY night, but last night's was REALLY strange.


In my dream, everyone at my husband's work decided to resolve their inner-office disputes and disagreements by knife fight! That's right, if things get out of control and people are unable to agree on something, bring out the knives!

Without going into too much detail, so as not to have it all confirmed in your minds that I definitely need to be committed, I will just say, the knife fight solution was a very effective one! People got their anger out very quickly, no one died, and everyone laughed about it as they were being wheeled to the ambulances! True, some feelings were hurt, "How could you stab me in the heart? I thought we were friends!" but overall, it was very effective.

I am now deeply disturbed by my ability to dream something so violent! I told my husband and son about it and they weren't surprised. What? My son even said, shrugging his shoulders, "Well... it makes sense. Mom is a little twisted!" (or something to that affect- I don't remember the exact quote, I was too horrified that they weren't surprised.)

I guess it was a nice change from my usual dreams that I am wandering the halls of high school looking for the math class on finals day that I never once attended, only to realize I am not wearing anything on the bottom! At least a knife fight gives you power- not utter humiliation- and everyone can laugh about it in the end!

Sick as a dog....

No- it isn't me. I'm not sick as a dog. My dog was sick all night long! I noticed he was drinking a lot of water- like 2 big bowls full of water, right before bed. I thought, "Great, he'll want to get up in an hour to pee." so I stayed up.

Sure enough, the dog was itching to get out about an hour later. But, then he came back in and drank and drank and drank some more. I knew something was wrong. I decided I'd better keep an eye on him for longer- make sure he doesn't puke all over the living room floor. Sure enough, he had to go back out again.

This happened over and over and over last night. He would go out and gorge himself on grass- which I read dogs do to make themselves throw up sometimes. Sure enough, he'd get sick, and then do it all over again.

Needless to say, I spent the night in the not-too-uncomfortable guest bed so I didn't wake up my hubby with my getting up so much.

I would have left him out all night, but he gets really wheezy in the cold weather and has a hard time breathing. I thought how I would feel if I was sick and made to stay outside all night, so I just took care of him.

My hubby thinks I'm ridiculous for going to such lengths to take care of a my sick dog. Hint: don't tell your wife her actions are ridiculous after she's had about 2 hours of sleep that night. Not a good idea!

Boring post??? yes, but at least the dog is feeling better. Now, if I could just train him to take care of me!!!!

De Junk room now open!!!!

Ok. I have been trying to de-junk my house. I have lots of "stuff" that I really don't need or use anymore, but I can never manage to make it to the DI. So, I have an idea:

Why not get rid of it on a blog? I will post items I am getting rid of on dejunkroom.blogspot.com. If you want it, it's yours!!!! And, if you have something you want to get rid of, feel free to do so on this site!!!!

I mean, how often have you said, "Man, I wish I had a fish aquarium, but I don't want to go pay a load of money for a new one... surely somebody's gotta have one lying around somewhere...."

Well, Guess what? I do!!!!

It'll be kind of like a mini Craig's list- but for neighbors and close friends. If you are in need of something, just ask if anyone has it, and see what happens.

So, the De-junk room doors are now open!!!!

Parenting tips from your children?

My son, as many children do, has a very difficult time understand what it means to hurry. You say, "Hurry up, you have to leave in 2 minutes", and the pace of his eating stays exactly the same. You say, "Go brush your teeth lightening fast- the bell's going to ring," and he stares at you as though you are speaking another language. "I know she's trying to tell me something, but what....".

So, this morning, as he was doing his best impression of a tortoise eating his banana pancakes, his dad said, "Bud... you'd better hurry up. You've gotta go!" The fork was either moving so quickly it looked like it wasn't moving at all, or it really wasn't moving at all. Dad said, "Did you just do anything different when I said to hurry up?" He shook his head no.

Duh!!!!!

He was quickly hastened into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and told he had exactly 1 minute to do so. He knows how long a minute is. He has to read for 20 minutes every day, and watches the clock like a hawk to make sure he doesn't go over that 20 minutes by one second- he KNOWS how long a minute is! But, does he hurry?

Needless to say, both parents were quite frustrated by his slow pace and became quite short with him. AS he was rushed out the door for school, he turned, and in a teary voice said... "That's not how you teach your child to hurry."

I'll be looking forward to hearing how he thinks you should teach your child to hurry. I guess we've been doing it wrong all along. Parents, I will publish his words of wisdom so we can all stop being frustrated with trying to get our kids to hurry! Who knew we've been doing it wrong all these years!

Maybe I'll ask him how to teach your kids to want to do their chores, as well. Apparently my way isn't right, either.

Department- of -Motor- Vehicles-a-phobe

I have an illness. It was finally confirmed yesterday. I know this because the last time I was in the same situation, I faced the exact same symptoms and side-effects. What am I talking about?

Department- of -Motor- Vehicles Phobia, or DMV-a-phobe, for short.

It happens when one is forced to sit in close proximity to strangers of all backgrounds and questionable hygiene standards on hard black plastic chairs while waiting for your number to be called at the DMV, which usually takes about 2 hours.

The symptoms: quickened heart rate- usually irregular, some chest pains, fear of breathing in, dizziness (usually caused by not breathing), the constant need to wash hands with hand sanitizer, shifty eyes, and nervous jerking away from anything that moves.

It all started about a year and a half ago. I had to go to the DMV for a new registration for my hubby's car. (the original had been lost.) Sitting there among the... how shall I put this... well, let's just ask, why would a prostitute need a car, can't she just hitch a ride, and get paid at the same time? Why would a homeless man be needing to renew his vehicle registration? Is Salt Lake City the only place for people who don't speak English to get their cars registered? These are questions I asked myself as I sat there packed like a sardine in a sea of loud, smelly, coughing, hacking, bizarre rash scratching , itchy-headed people. Oh, and I had forgotten a book to read!

The man next to me reeked of tobacco and cheap Rite-aid aftershave, wearing a very squeaky "leather" jacket. He kept bouncing his left knee at the speed of light and making comments like, "Wow. This is ridiculous!" or "I've got somewhere to be, I can't just be sitting here!" Hmmmm..... unlike the rest of us, you mean? I wanted to whack his knee and tell him to chill out!

The woman on the other side of me had either been crying non-stop since she got there, or had some weepy-eye problem, because she kept dabbing at her eye with a tissue. She also had some severe eczema or something, because her hands were all rashy and dry looking. I had recently seen a show about a woman who's brain fluid was leaking out of her eyes and nose, and thought of her. I tried not to make any physical contact with either of them, so I sat with my shoulders squeezed in to my chest, and my hands in my lap, trying not to breathe.

A kid with a sticky sucker and incredibly dirty face came up to me and offered me some soggy, dirty fishy crackers. No thank you, but go tell your mom to blow your nose.

The last straw was right before my number came up- 2 1/4 hours later. I looked across the isle at a man in a suit who's number had just been called. He was one of the few people dressed nicely- albeit a cheap suit, but had been sweating profusely the entire time. Yes, I had thought about sitting next to him, but didn't want to have to towel off when I left. As it was, I'd already be taking a very LONG shower!
Anyway, he got up and left, shall we say, a long damp streak of something on the seat. I dry heaved.

A man came to take his seat as there were no available seats and people were standing around the edges. He noticed the damp streak on the seat and... this is repulsive... ran his finger in it! My heart stopped! Then, he brought his finger up to his face and smelled it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dry heaved again! I wanted to scream to him STOP but no sound escaped my lips- it was like a bad horror movie when the girl is being chased by the extremely slow scary guy and she gets cornered and just looks horrified, but can't scream or run. I was in this state of shock when my number came up. I must have looked pretty bad because the bedraggled lady at the desk asked me if I was ok. Ok? Me? No, I'm not ok! I just spend the last 2 1/4 hours of my life in a cess pool of filth and trolls!

I ran home and immediately took a shower. Oh, and I came down with a horrible cold the next day. Coincidence? I think not!

So, yesterday I had to go to the DMV again to get plates for my hubby's new car. The things I do for my sweet husband..... anyway, when I arrived I immediately began twitching and experiencing shortness of breath. The room was packed! My heart pounded in my ears and my head began aching. I quickly searched the room for an acceptable available seat- one preferably not directly next to anyone, but if that wasn't possible, one that was next to someone who wasn't wearing pleather, had combed their hair, didn't have a green haze of cheap cologne or parfume clouded around them, and... well, my options were drastically narrowing. I chose a man wearing a nice button up shirt and long shiny black hair. I figured, if it was shiny, maybe that meant clean. Luckily, shortly after I sat down, his number was called, and a woman immediately took his seat. She was younger, and smacking her gum louder than a whip crack, but she didn't stink. I prepared myself for the 2 hour wait by bringing my book.

I tried not to look around me. I figured what I don't see won't hurt me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the man in front of me had about 3 teeth. He liked to laugh a lot, but I don't think he spoke any English. A woman with a baby was nearby, and was oblivious to the fact that a crying baby isn't a soothing sound to most people. I wondered if there was a disaster and we were all stuck in the DMV how long it would take for people to start eating eachother. I know, sick thought. I was wondering how long it takes for a person to get Strep throat from another person, if head lice can migrate via the plastic chairs, if....

What? There's a new DMV opened on 14800 South???? There's no waiting???? Who cares if it's raining cats and dogs outside and I have lots of stuff to do that day! I'm outta here!!!! I drove all the way to Egypt and guess what, there was NO WAITING!!!! The people were friendly and clean, and didn't look like postal workers about to leave an unmarked package in the middle of the building. I even think I heard angels singing as I walked into the almost empty room!!!!! The workers might as well have been dressed in white playing harps- it was heavenly!!!!

So, lessons learned? I am a DMV-a-phobe, class 1! Also, it is sooooooo worth the drive to go to the new DMV. I will do it again and again!!!! I think I'll even take my son there for a fun day. It is a happy place!

"No honey, don't get me anything for Christmas this year, just take me to the 14800 South DMV. That's all I need! And maybe some more hand sanitizer. I ate all of mine."

Crazy Friday night!

Yes... here at our house, we know how to have a good time on a Friday night!

12:56 AM- car pulls up to intersection in front of our house (we live on the corner)
Car's music is BLARING!!!! I can hear it inside my home- I HATE that!

1:01 AM- car is STILL there. I assume whoever's in it is making out, either
that or they are waiting for a drug deal. Yes, didn't you know my street
is drug central? Well, they are very sly about it- cars pull up next to
eachother, people exchange "gifts" and drive off. Ya... real nice!

1:02 AM- hubby puts on clothes and goes out to knock on car window to ask them to
turn music down, or drive on. I am praying no one jumps out and decks him!
He quickly turns back and runs into house! I'm freaking out!

1:03 AM- Hubby tells me to call 911- lady is passed out in driver's seat, doors are
locked, he can't wake her up, but she is breathing. Dog barking in back.

1:04 AM- Call 911. Get told we aren't in that jurisdiction and transfered to another
department!!!! Get put on hold- HELLO!!!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY PEOPLE!!!!
They keep asking how old she is. "I don't know, she's slumped over!" "Well,
make a guess..." "Uh... ok, somewhere between 16 and 60?!" "Mid 20's?"
"Sure, mid-20's. Whatever you want!" Grrrrrrr.....

1:08 AM- Get mad, hang up and call back again. Finally get someone who will take me
seriously!

1:25 AM- 2 police cars show up, 1 fire truck, 1 ambulance. *Finally* They easily
Jimmy the windows and get into the car. After much trying, they are able
to wake the woman up. She's drunk... shocking! 2 more police cars show up.

2:00 AM- Take beligerant woman to police car in cuffs. Wait for animal control to
come take the dog so they can tow the car away. Flashing lights in our
bedroom window, people talking right outside- who can go to sleep? Oh ya,
the lady operating the large SUV could... how nice for her!

2:30 AM- Tow truck and animal control finally finish up so we can go to bed! I feel
bad for the dog having to sleep in a cage. I feel bad for the woman for
a nightmare she is going to wake up to in the morning!


What a night!!!!!! I am just baffled at how someone so intoxicated could
even think to operate a vehicle. I guess that's just it- she didn't think.
I'm glad it was the middle of the night and no one was on the street, and
no one got hurt!

It is done...

*SIGH*

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad the elections are over!!!!! This has been the craziest election I can remember! People can really get mean and ugly during election time!

I had a difficult time during this election- I didn't feel any one particular candidate was a shining example of someone who could lead our country. My son, however, knew exactly who he would vote for.

Yesterday in his school class- he's in second grade, mind you- his class held an election of their own. They put their heads down and held up their hands for either McCain or Obama. When my son got home, he had an "I Voted" sticker on.

"So, you voted?"

"Ya- we did it in school."

"Hmmmmm.... so, who did you vote for?"

(now, my husband and I haven't really talked about who we would vote for around him. My husband and I had differing opinions about which candidate would be best, and I didn't want my son just being a puppet and spouting off our political views as his own.)

"McCain... of COURSE!"

me, chuckling...

"McCain, huh? And why did you vote for McCain?"

he gets a very thoughtful look on his face...

"Well... I watched him on television, and I watched Obama. I think McCain is an honest man, and would make a good president."

"Well... I'm glad you voted for someone who you feel you could trust."

"Ya... and Obama has told the Americans lies!" he says with conviction and certainty. (I laughed out loud at this!)

It's clear he has been in the car when my mom or his grandpa has been listening to the political talk shows! So much for not swaying his opinion one way or another!

Nevertheless- if it were up to his 2nd grade class, McCain would have won by a landslide, which surprised me considering the demographic of his class.

However, when I look at my little guy, I feel hope for our future. Although things may be difficult and uncertain right now, I am certain that there are some pretty amazing kids who are growing up to be pretty amazing leaders!I'll try not to get in his way!

Life's Lessons Keep On Coming....

I had to teach the Young Women in church on Sunday. I actually really love teaching Young Women- they are so cute, and fun! I really feel like I relate more to the young women than I do the grown women!

Our lesson this week was on being dependable. I cringed when I read the lesson because, despite my best efforts, sometimes I forget responsibilities. I don't mean to! Honestly! In fact, I even bought a day planner so I wouldn't forget my responsibilities, but I ended up forgetting to bring it with me, or forgetting to write in it, and it was useless!

So, teaching the girls about the importance of being dependable and reliable felt a bit hypocritical. However, I promised them I would bring them caramel apples last night, if they did an assignment I asked of them. I told them I would show I was dependable by bringing the treats by in the evening on Monday night.

Guess what? I forgot to make the caramel apples! Ya! At about 4:30 pm I suddenly realized I needed to make caramel apples! I dropped everything I was doing so I could make sure I got this one thing done! I got them delivered, and sighed with relief that I had done it!

So, lesson learned? Well, I know I may have all the best intentions, but it's my actions that speak louder than anything. I guess I'll just keep trying!!!!