Grin and Bear It... or Bare it...

This morning my kitchen window looked like this:
(yes, I know... why on EARTH did they make it so freaking big, you ask? It spans the entire width of that wall, and almost the entire height. And it doesn't open. Ya... wonder why we're replacing it?)
It is now 8:16 pm, dark outside, and it looks like this:

See, I can stick my hand outside to feel the temperature without even having to open a window! (wait, I guess that arctic wind blowing in my kitchen because there is no freaking window there to open would probably let me know what the temperature is!)

"That which does not make us stronger, kills us."
- E. Taylor

Den Mother and Google- the perfect match!

As the den mother in cub scouts, I am in charge of coming up with activities the boys can do each week to pass of things in their scout books. Up to now, there have been lots of crafty things to teach them, and field trips to take them on- it hasn't been too bad. However, yesterday I was faced with the reality that there are things in that book- BOY things- things that boys are supposed to inherently know- things girls don't EVER learn, and may not even know exist! And that I am supposed to teach them these things! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I came across one that said "build a simple electromagnetic machine". Simple??? Lucky for me I speak Google. I was able to pull up a web site where a guy had video'd himself making a simple- yes, simple- electromagnetic engine out of a battery, safety pins, copper wire and a magnet.

The first few I tried didn't work. I couldn't figure it out- I had followed the directions step by step, but it wasn't working. I sat and thought for a minute: although I had no idea WHY it was supposed to work, I knew that it WAS, and that it couldn't be that hard to figure out. I knew the battery was new, and I had gotten everything else on the list exactly as was specified, so why wasn't mine working? I finally figured out I didn't have enough magnetic power, so I added more magnets, and Voila! It worked like a charm!!! I went to the craft store and bought some super strong magnets and they worked perfectly! (the video here is the day after, and all the boys had kept playing with it, so it isn't spinning as quickly and steadily as it was. The battery is dying I think-)

The boys really loved doing it, and I looked like the awesome Den Mother I am supposed to be! (at least in my head!) Girls never learn this stuff!!! I was proud of myself for even attempting it, although my husband made fun of me for not having a clue WHY it worked. "Aren't you supposed to explain to the boys how it works?" Uh... no! I'm just the den mother, duh!" When the boys would ask how it works, I'd just shove another piece of candy in their hand! Yay for cool projects- and for Google! IT saved the day!!!!! (and for me figuring out how to get a video of it with my camera- albeit a little blurry!)

I'm so confused!

This snow is confusing me!

Do I listen to Halloween music or Christmas music?????

I had two Halloween parties last week and I think Halloween is over! I am surprised the stores still have Halloween stuff- I keep thinking its come and gone, and they should be selling Valentines stuff already! (yes, I said Valentines... you know how stores like to get a "jump" on the holidays. Oh, actually, they are already selling Christmas stuff for 2015 now... I forgot.)

So, I listened to a Christmas song this morning, and now I have "Thriller" on. I'm going to watch old Halloween movies while I fold mountains of laundry, then make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and homemade clam chowder. Hot chocolate with candy canes will top it off, and our mega-confusing day will be complete!

They're coming to take me away- ho ho ha ha hee hee- to the funny farm!

Last week was crazy. I mean, with my 10th anniversary party, the ward Halloween party (back to back), school Reflections stuff, getting the kitchen ready to remodel- for real, and Gilda to frame for it....

Well, I was pretty.... done.

I was looking forward to this week being leizurely and restful. You know, a load of laundry here, a bit of light dusting there...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Ok, so, I might have been in my little pretend world where my house didn't get completely neglected while planning and working to a frenzy getting everything ready. I might have been pretending my house didn't look like Hurricane Katrina moved right in and took permanant residence in my living room. I might have underestimated the amount of time it would take to get it all back in order again.

And then, we had to move the kitchen table into the living room because we are reframing a kitchen wall and putting in a new window, and my entire living room looks like a disaster area! (No, I haven't figured out where to put the Halloween costumes away yet. No, I haven't even picked up that stray sock that landed in front of the couch sometime last week.)

And this week is turning out to be not-so-leizurely. We were at a viewing for a few hours last night and have a sad funeral to go to today, I still haven't gotten the ok from the wisdom tooth study people whether I can get it done or not, and have to get another blood test done. Geeze, people! I'm healthy, ok?!!! I have some major fires to put out for Reflections by tomorrow, an activities committee meeting this afternoon.... I'm going crazy!!!!

Calgon.... take me away!!!!!! (if you don't get this, you're tooo young!)

Gorgeous Saturday

Last Saturday we took a drive over Guardsman Pass. The day was beautiful! We got out and found a little dirt road we hiked up to see the view.

What a beautiful day to spend outdoors, smelling the pine trees, the falling leaves, picking up pretty rocks...

I adore Fall!!!!

There's a reason I didn't go to school to become a nurse!

Yesterday:

Went to the dentist to find out what was causing my son's tooth pain.

Found out nothing is causing his tooth pain.

Total cost: $50

Went to the pediatrician to find out what is causing his tooth pain and possibly get an antibiotic for a sinus infection (which could be causing the tooth pain.)

Found out the doctor has no idea what is causing the tooth pain, but he does have a sinus infection.

Total cost: $35

Went to the pharmacy to get antibiotics and pain medication.

Total cost: $14 (not as bad as I thought, at least)

Put drugged up kid to bed last night complaining of a major tummy ache. Found out tummy aches are a side effect of both medications.

Great.

Kid will be staying home from school again today.

I'm not cut out for the sick bed! I wanted to be an interior designer or an opera singer- neither of which have time for sick people!!!! I never in my wildest dreams wanted to be a nurse. I guess I didn't realize that the role of "Mom" IS being a nurse!

Who's the Mom???

Anyone with children knows that having them sick is NOOOOOO fun! (And that dad's are just not equipped with the patience to be around sick kids.)

My kid has been complaining of hurting teeth for a few days now. I'm certain he doesn't have cavities because he just went to the dentist and he brushes well. Besides, what are the chances of 5 teeth on one side of his mouth having cavities all at once? (I'm not that bad of a mother!)

Finally I saw he had a molar coming in and his mouth is already crowded as it is, so I figured that must be the culprit. I medicated him all weekend and it helped.

However, at about 3 AM on Sunday morning, he woke me up- guess what? Fever of almost 102!!! And swollen gums- like, seriously swollen! He had a sinus infection the size of Texas, and a sore throat to boot.

So, what do I do? If I take him to the doctor, they will probably refer me to the dentist for the teeth problems. If I take him to the dentist, they will probably refer me to the doctor for the fever and sinus infection! Argh!!!

Maybe I can call the doctor and the dentist, have them meet me in the middle somewhere and they can both do their thing at once- wouldn't that be great!

Alas, I finally decided on the dentist: he can x-ray the teeth, probably determine it is due to the new tooth coming in, OR a sinus infection, and prescribe antibiotics. The doctor can't do the teeth x-rays. Pretty clever, huh?

Well, that's why I'm called "The Mom". (incidentally, my husband seemed unusually eager to flee the house and get to work today. I think he's had it with being around sick kids all weekend.)

"Don't blame me, I didn't vote for him"

Don't you just love those bumper stickers you have to stare at while waiting at an extremely long light- the ones that say "My kid is an honor student at such-n-such school" or "My grandkids are better than yours"? Well, truth be told, they are better than the "Nuke the world" or "That burger you're eating once looked like this" and they have a picture of a cute, big-eyed baby cow staring at you. Actually, I see those and I think, Yumm! (Ok, not really, but once I was craving bacon and happened to be at the fair looking at the pigs at the time. I don't know if it was a coincidence, but bacon was sure sounding good, and I NEVER eat bacon!)

Anyway, back to the bumper stickers. Yesterday, my son had the very best parent/teacher conference EVER!!! I mean, I was beaming from ear to ear, and ready to go out and get me a bumper sticker that said "My (insert school name here) student ROCKS!!!" I knew he'd been doing fantastic at reading, and he awes me with his math skills. (His numchuck skills are pretty good too!) But when his teacher pulled out a standardized test he'd taken a few weeks ago and said he got the best score in the class, and his score was several points higher than the score they would like to see on the end of the year test.... well, I could have kissed her!

Then I thought back to that lovely first grade experience...when the-one-who-shall-not-be-named had him in tutoring for his reading and I was completely flabbergasted. (don't you just love that word? It gets used far too seldom in my opinion.) I was sure he was top of his class in reading, yet she had him in tutoring! Whatever! I wanted to bring her in to this P/T conference and say HA! Take that!!! But, I'm not that vindictive. Its enough to know that I am right in my own mind, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Anyway, I am just so proud of my little guy! Good job, Bud! Yay for you!!!

"My *bleep* elementary student ROCKS!"

I am officially a lab rat!

It's true. I am now a number... one of those "...of the 5000 people studied, 78% claimed they felt no pain after...." people.

I "auditioned" for a wisdom tooth study, and got the part of lab rat.

I think the word that scares me the most in that last sentence is the word "study". (Rat is also worrisome, but for this particular instance, study seems to be scarier.)

According to dictionary.com, one of the definitions of Study is: research or a detailed examination and analysis of a subject, phenomenon, etc.: She made a study of the transistor market for her firm.

This means, they want to find out what a particular drug does to a person after a painful surgery, such as wisdom teeth removal.(or what it doesn't do!)

Ok, so I absolutely MUST have my wisdom teeth removed within the next 6 months. They've overstayed their welcome. They have become too big for their breeches. I read about a "study" being done where I could get them removed for free, and get paid! Ya, sounds great, right?

But when I went in for the initial exam yesterday, and they poked me, drew blood, made me pee in a cup, weighed me, took my blood pressure, made me take a breathalizer test... ("oh, you know... this is what the cops use when they pull you over on the road." Uh... no I don't know! Which, by the way, I had to do twice because I didn't blow correctly- how the heck do they get drunk people to do it right?), made me answer questions about EVERYTHING under the sun, made me lie down in a dark room because I was anxious and my BP was elevated, took my BP again after I'd told myself people don't generally die from wisdom tooth extractions and calmed down a bit, then finally passed me and scheduled me for a butt-crack-of-dawn appointment where I actually play the role of the lab rat, well... I was beginning to have second thoughts.

So, early Monday morning I get to go have all that stuff done again- (because the government needs duplicate tests of everything so they can lose the paperwork twice, I guess.) Only this time I get to spend the night after the surgery in a small room with a bed ("bring your own pillow and blanket"), have no cell phone, no visitors, no outside contact with the world, reading a book while hoping I didn't get the placebo pain killer instead of the actual study medication. Wait at least an hour after I start feeling "intense" pain before they give me a real pain killer. (Oh, I sure hope I don't get the placebo!!!!) I think I'll wear a t-shirt that says "No Placebo for me!"

Wish me luck! I hate all things dental! I wish we all had no teeth and had to gum our food. But, as I said, I must get the darn things out, so I might as well get it done for free, and get some extra cash in the process, right?

So, until I survive the process and return to my normal, albeit wisdom tooth free self, just call me Algernon. (Only, I really don't think I'll become super smart as they are removing my wisdom teeth. *sigh* oh well.)

When all else fails, threaten to take away video games...

My son loves to help out in the kitchen. He loves to hover right in front of me between me and the counter- watching intently whatever it is I am making, and trying to grab the measuring cup from me to dump it all in himself. (yes, he is 8... yes, 8 year olds still want to do things themselves!)

This morning I was making crepes- my son requests them at least once a week, if not more. (I only have the patience and time to be the perfect warm-breakfast-making mom 2 days a week- Fridays and Saturdays.) I've finally agreed to do them on Fridays, and no more! He was getting in my way as I was hurriedly trying to whip up the batter, so I gently moved him to the side, getting flour all over his school shirt in the process. I told him to hurry upstairs and change his shirt. He protested- of course!

"Mom... why can't I just wash it off?"

"Because it will make a pasty mess... now go change your shirt."

a few minutes later, he comes down in the same shirt.

"There, how's that?"

"Uh... (turning him around) there is still flour all over, and now there's paste. I told you to change... go do it, please!)

a few more minutes later- crepes are ready, but no kid in sight. He finally comes downstairs again...still in the same shirt!

"There! Better, right?"

"No..... (me beginning to get really angry) There is STILL flour on your shirt, AND lots of paste now... "

I finally threatened to take video games away if he didn't have his shirt changed and back down to eat breakfast in 3 minutes. (I dont' know why I always default to 3 minutes. Maybe my mom did, who knows? But it is always 3 minutes. "go brush your teeth and put your jammies on in the next 3 minutes....")

I'm trying to think at what age they actually start to believe their parents know what they are talking about..... I'm pretty sure it isn't until college.... maybe.

I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.

Commando???

Yes. This IS about what you think it is about.

But, tell me, when it applies to an 8 year old, doesn't that creep you out???

The story:

My son was playing with two other friends the other day. They were sticking the hose down their pants and letting the water flow out the legs. (They're boys.... somehow playing with the hose in 50 degree weather doesn't seem strange.)

One of the boys, we'll call him "Ralph" ( another 8 year old who my son doesn't play with very much due to the fact that I think his parents don't like us... long story.) pointed out to my son "you wear underwear?"

"Uh.... yea.... doesn't everybody?" (my son, thinking this kid is strange for even asking.)

"Heck no! I haven't worn underwear for years!"

Ok. Creepy! What parent doesn't put underwear on their kid?! Haven't we all found ourselves repeating the same phrase we heard as a kid more times than we can remember "don't forget to wear clean underwear!"? Not to mention, everyone knows how thorough an 8 year old can be when wiping. (sorry, a delicate subject, to be sure, but relevent, nonetheless.)

So, it poses another question: if the kid isn't wearing underwear, are his parents? I don't even want to think about that. I know people walk around "commando" all the time, but those are creepy people who live in trailer parks and wear suspenders to hold up their "breeches" so they can have both hands free to hold a beer and a drumstick, right? Not my neighbors!!!

I certainly hope it isn't very common, this "commando" thing. I know I may have been a bit sheltered as a child, but I was in high school gym class- girls just don't do that! It makes me not want to sit on the chairs in public places! (I already have an aversion to this after my unfortunate DMV experience a few years ago... too horrifying to go into again.)

People.... put underpants on your children. Put them on yourselves! Afterall, we're not apes! Afterall, If we were meant to go "commando", Adam and Eve wouldn't have donned the fig leaves in the first place!

What I did this fall...

My real post is after this one, but I've been meaning to post these pictures for weeks now.

This is what I've been keeping myself busy with the last several weeks.

And I'm done!

Our garden is now all fallen over, tomatoes rotting everywhere. I tried to give them away! I just couldn't keep up with it all. And now the frost has come.

I will make one case of green tomato salsa, and then that's IT!!! I mean it!!!

But what a GREAT crop this year!!! Yay!!!!!!

Milestones and randomness

We've reached another milestone with my son.

Does this give you any hint?

(it says "keep out" if you can't tell. He'd nailed two blocks of wood together, then stuck it in the hanging ironing board on his door.)

Yep.

We've now reached a whole new level in parenting. And this was due to the fact that my husband wouldn't let him have a second rootbeer float ice cream bar.

This morning he stormed off to school because he had left his scooter at a friend's house and I wouldn't let him go get it, and took video games away for the day because he argued with me about it.

Ya.... things are gonna be GREAT today!!! Maybe I'll borrow his sign and put it on my bedroom door!Saturday I went to see "Julie and Julia" with my little sister. I'd already seen it, but it's a movie about cooking, so I was obligated to see it again, right?
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On a completely different note:

My sister and I went to see "Julie and Julia" on Saturday. I'd already seen it before, but it's about cooking, for heaven's sake... how could I not see it again?! (I've dubbed it a "culinary drama" but it's really funny, and I cry a few times in it. Who wouldn't cry at that beautiful boned duck?!)

Anyway, we were sitting in the theater (one not near my house, mind you. We wanted to go at an earlier time, so we found a theater further away. It felt like a mini vacation! Can you tell I don't get out much?) when I looked up and saw my mom and step dad walk in! They live in Smithfield, but were staying the weekend in Park City (neither of which are close to this theater!)

What a fun, totally random thing!!!