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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Great Mouse Hunt...

Ok. This mouse KNOWS I am terrified of him. He only shows his face when I'M around. He only makes scratching noises when I'M the only one in the room.

I have a stalker!

He taunts me with his beady little eyes. My husband and son have caught small glimpses of him, and have both fallen in love.

"Oh, can't we keep him?" (and this from my husband, not my son!)

He's been named "Fluffy" for heaven's sake!

I find myself dreaming of ways to obliterate the little vermin. A mote of fire around the fridge? A pot of boiling oil set to tip over the moment he exits his lair? All very effective ideas, I think. However, I can't envision any of them being executed without my whole house going up in flames with him.

I picture a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The crazy old woman is trying to get rid of the mouse and he keeps outsmarting her. She finally looses her mind and sets dynomite to blow at the tiniest touch, but in the end her house is a smoking pile of ashes, and the mouse climbs out of the rubble, eating a piece of cheese.

I fear I am becoming that crazy old woman.

This isn't over yet, though. He got into my closet and scratched the paper wrapper off one of my large food storage cans. No, he can't get in, but he is determined to find a way. It is only a matter of time before he finds his way to the cupboards, and then.... well, then I will HAVE to burn the place down because I cannot abide mice in the cupboards!

Mouse: if you are reading this, and somehow I think you are.... I've got the eyes of a tiger, and I'm ready for the thrill of the fight. Bring it on, little "Fluffy". I'm boiling the oil as we speak!