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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A Fie Upon My Feet!

Last night was the final concert of the Utah Chamber Artists, of which I am a part. I won't go into detail, but my voice was totally shot (allergies, I think)and I pretty much could have sat out the last half of the concert and no one would have missed me. Oh, and I got chewed out for not wearing the correct shoes. I couldn't find one of my black dress shoes, so I had to wear some black sandals, with my red painted toe-nails sticking out. My dress comes all the way to the floor, but someone spotted my piggies before the concert and I was told "NEVER AGAIN".

It made me paranoid, so when I walked out on stage, I sort of crouched down and walked with tiny steps to keep my feet under my dress. I don't know what looked more strange- seeing my silly walk, or a glimpse of my feet! I kept wishing I was stunningly beautiful, or had a dramatically plunging neckline so no one would think to look at my feet! The whole concert I was thinking, "Oh no! I saw someone whisper to someone else.... did they see my feet? Are they talking about my feet?" Ya, it was pretty upsetting! Later the girl who told me "Never Again" apologized for being mean, or something.... honestly, I didn't really hear what she was saying because I was sure I was going to be hissed and booed off the stage at that point.

Oh, and I ran into an old friend from high school. I say old because she reminded me it's been 17 years since we last saw eachother. Ya. I am old. I am glad I at least had my hair done and makeup on. Last time I ran into an old high school buddy was at the outlet stores in Park City and I had been dragging around my kid and 3 others the whole day and I was tired and frazzled, and fat, as usual. This girl with perfectly coiffed golden hair turns around in her Banana Republic outfit and expensive shoes and says, "Erin?" Like.... "This can't be Erin, but she looks a bit like her, and sounds exactly like her, except for that aggitated edge in her voice..." In high school I always did my hair perfectly, and wore expensive clothes, and always sounded care-free and happy. Yes, I had to admit it was me, and we chatted for a minute. Yes, she is rich, living in Stepford... Yes, she keeps in touch with all the old high school buddies- (except me, of course). I always thought she was a nice person, and always liked her, but I couldn't wait to get away! I felt like the street urchin pulled out of the gutter next to her. I could just imagine her head spewing things like "Boy! She's really gone down hill." or worse yet, "Wow, she hasn't changed at all!" Well, sista, I am who I am!

Anyway, back to what I started with, I ran into an old friend. She looked even better than in high school. She was skinny and happy and bubbly, and sophisticated and sickening! Sorry, Kelly- if there is a chance in Hades that you would even read this blog, you looked too perfect! My next high school reunion isn't for a few more years, but I already think I'm going to be sick that night. I keep in touch with one friend from high school, and that's all I need!

Well, needless to say, last night wasn't my best night. I left the concert feeling tired and dissappointed and mortified and I just wanted to crawl under a rock and curl up my red toes like the wicked witch of the whatever direction. One good thing- I woke up this morning and I had put so much hairspray in my hair last night, and never took off my lipstick, that it still looked great today! Something good came from all of it!


Ryan and Shannan Hoffman said...

I am sorry we missed the concert. Merritt told me about it and I was going to try and get a babysitter, but all heck broke loose at work!

Loralee Choate said...

Oh, hell. I am so sorry, bug. I have been the 'Picked on' one and it sure seems like they were gunning for you yesterday.

If it is any consolation, I thought you were adorable as ever when I saw you. I know that everyone goes through phases where they are hard on themselves, but you are one of the awesomest people I know.

Jess said...

I can't imagine your voice ever sounding bad. I never knew there was such a strict dress code for singers. I like red toenails! I seem to always run into High School people when I look my absolute worst. What do you do? She just got lucky that the one day she looked nice she ran into you!

Anonymous said...

Jotham was able to go to the concert for a little bit before he had to pick me up from the airport and he was VERY impressed. He wouldn't stop talking about it. I wish I could have come too.

Also, you don't give yourself enough credit. You are so adorable and always look put together. I am sure your friend didn't think one thing different. :)