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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008....

Hmmmmm..... I approach the year's end/ new year with bitter-sweet feelings. I am always conflicted this time of year. First, I HATE making resolutions, but somehow always find myself doing it anyway. My hate stems from the unspoken and sometimes loudly spoken expectations of others telling me "You MUST make new year resolutions", so I do, and then so VERY OFTEN fall flat on my face when trying to actually carry them out.

Secondly, I don't like the unknown. I don't like not knowing what the next 365 days holds. I'm not big on surprises. Ok, that's not true, I LOVE surprises, but I am not good at waiting. If I know I am going to get a surprise, I want it NOW. Not too far off from the bratty girl in the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- "Don't care how... I want it NOW!" At least I own up to it, right? So, the future is not my favorite place to look. I am a very much "live in the present" kind of person. I'm always trying to find a good reason to have a little party, or do something fun to celebrate the NOW.

Thirdly, I am not one to look back, either. (Again... I live in the Now.) I don't like looking back on my failed resolutions, hopes that never came to fruition, decisions I could have made differently. So seeing that a whole year has gone by and I can probably count on 8 fingers the number of times I actually made it to the gym when I vowed I'd go at least 4 times a week... well, you can see why I don't like to look back. I'm not saying I have only regrets, or that nothing good happened in 2008- that's not it at all! But in looking back, I tend to see the bad along with the good, I don't like it, so tend not to look back at all.

Of course, there is some good that goes along with New Year's celebrations. Life always hands you surprises, and you never know what awesome thing is coming your way- well, that is a pretty cool thing. There is a really good reason to party, because everyone else in the world is, so I can pretty much justify it to my husband as a good reason. The realization that many of the fears and worries I had about the unknown at the onset of 2008 never came to pass is also a positive thing. And that the struggles I had in 2008 can be left in 2008 forever, that is also a good feeling.

So, I am going to try something new. I am going to put down something for each letter in HAPPY NEW YEAR- something that happened, or something I hope will happen in the coming year.

H- hope to have a baby
A- apron business, started in Feb. 2008 and plan to grow in coming year
P- Piano, get my son in lessons in 2009
P- Practice my singing more in 2009
Y- Young Women Beehive Advisor in 2008, love it!

N- Nappy- needs shots again in March (just a reminder!)
E- Europe trip last June... so fun!
W- Windows, New in the upstairs! Yay!

Y- Yell at my family less
E- eat more fruits and veggies
A- attempt to renovate upstairs kitchen in 2009
R- Recital, hope to attempt a vocal recital for family and friends this year.

Well, I can't stop the ball rolling, so 2009.... come what may, I am ready for you. Bring it on! (But be gentle with me!)