Why? Why? Why?????
Why did he have to ask "THE" question today?
Why when his dad was nowhere in sight did that particular question have to be asked today????
Why couldn't I remain all calm and collected as I had always envisioned in my mind rather than bust out in the giggles????
Why did he have to get that look on his face when I revealed the truth???
Why??? Why??? Why????????
These are things I learned over my Thanksgiving break:
-NEVER go Black Friday shopping in Cache Valley!!!
-If it looks like poop, and it's on a kid, best not question it!
-Not all men in tights are created equal!
-There is such a thing as too much chocolate almond torte
-sleeping in the bed your grandpa died in will not conjure his spirit, (no matter how hard you try!)
-I don't love turkey as much as the rest of the world, apparently.
-You can never see "New Moon" too many times.
-I reeeeeeeeeeeally like driving my mom's big black SUV!!!
-you can eat Fritos and M&M peanuts indefinitely
-there are consequences if you do the previous statement
-girls can't drink pickle juice from the jar because it's not ladylike
-if someone doesn't show up where and when they said they would, they've most likely been arrested
Any questions???
Yes, Thanksgiving is approaching.
Yes, everyone is posting the things they are thankful for.
So, lest ye think I am ungrateful, here is my "normal" list: (the un-normal list will be tomorrow- things that I am thankful for that most people may not think of.)
-modern technology
-a steady income
-grocery stores
-my husband's warm hands on my cold feet
-the gospel
-the part after the trial is over when you feel that sense of "Ahhhh...."
-people I look up to
-snuggling
-chocolate
-minor accomplishments
-my fuzzy socks
-my clean, fluffy dog
-clean carpets
-great movies
-new shoes
-a great looking outfit
-early morning after Thanksgiving sales
-being with family
-when your favorite song comes on the radio
-hugs from little kids
-compliments
-hitting the high note just right
-engrossing myself in a good book
-hot chocolate
-snow
I am fed up!
Seriously... I've had it!!!! I'm sick to death of the disgusting fodder thrown in our faces from commercials, billboards, television shows, awards shows, random texts, emails, pop up ads...
There is no escape! I've stopped watching regular television because of this. I can't trust that some awful commercial won't just pop up while my family is watching "Sound of Music". It used to be that you were safe watching television during family time- from 7pm to 9pm, but not anymore.
Case in point, the American Music Awards. I have stopped watching awards shows because of the disgusting humor people think is funny to put on the stage, and the ridiculously unclothed moviestars and supposed musicians parading their annorexic bodies around as though that is the beacon to which we should all clamor. However, I did catch a small moment of the music awards the other night as I was searching for a program about ancient Egypt, and have been regretting it!
I see two lovely blondes walk out on stage: Nicole Kidman wearing a very sparkly long form fitting dress, but what set my jaw agape was her co-host, Kate Hudson and her twins (you know what I mean) falling out of their slings. Even Nicole looked in shock as those puppies nearly made their prime time television debut. Kate had to keep pulling the top over so the inevitable would be postponed, and she looked absolutely ridiculous! Seriously! Didn't she look in the mirror before she went on stage? Didn't she say, I feel a draft?
Luckily, I spared myself from seared eyeballs by flipping the channel quickly, and found out later what I really spared myself from: Adam Lambert evoking the powers of evil onstage for all to see. Now, if this isn't a commentary on how morally skewed our society has become I don't know what is. I read about it this morning- having NO desire to see a clip. I won't even go into detail as the mental images are just as damaging, but it was NOT wholesome. He did it for shock value, plain and simple. He is gay, and felt that he should be able to do what "straight" men and women do on stage. Ya.... if your name happens to be Madonna, or Brittany- not really two role models to rule your actions by, I'd say!
His comment about people's negative reactions: "That's a form of discrimination, and it's bad."
And the sad thing is many others agreed with him!
My gripe is this: do what you will when people are paying to see what they know you are going to present. They want to dirty their minds with it, they know what they are getting. However, do NOT air it on prime time television for innocent channel surfers to stumble upon and suddenly have blaring in their living rooms! What happened to respect for people's sensitivities? What happened to modesty? To civility? To privacy???
If the world is going to scream lasciviousness at me, I am going to speak morality back, very firmly! I will not cower to the spiritually deranged!
I will now step down from my soap box, but I will not diminish into the dark!
I'm back from the cruise!
We had such a nice time! I loved being on the ocean, smelling the salt water, being in the warm sunshine, not having to cook or clean! It was a wonderful week!
Here is a list of things I liked about the cruise:
- kids' adventure ocean (you check em in, then forget about em! Yeah!)
-fish and chips whenever I wanted
-my room attendant Anthony. I've been calling out to him to come help me clean my house, but he is gone.... forever!
- the waiters and waitresses were soooooooo super friendly!
-eating whenever I wanted, or didn't want!
-not having to cook the food when I wanted to eat it!
-playing on the beach in Cabo
-eating super spicy curl-your-toenails tacos in Ensenada
-bartering. Yes, bartering! I loved it!!! I rocked at it, actually! Who knew???
-driving through Ensenada and knowing I don't have to live like that. What a blessing!
-Seeing my son up on the stage doing a juggling act with Wild and James in front of hundreds of people! (more on this later)
-laying on the deck and reading for hours
-waking up at 6 AM and sitting out on my balcony watching the ocean
-standing on the very front of the ship in the dark with only the stars above me! It was freaky, but exhilarating as well!
-laughing at the old women in strapless evening gowns with their wrinkly flabby leathery overly- tanned skin hanging out.
- watching drunk people try to walk down the halls with the boat rocking
-trying to walk down the halls with the boat rocking and knowing I look just as bad as the drunk people!
Well, I'll post some pictures of it all later- after I uncover my camera from the pile of stuff I have to put away.
Oh, what I DIDN'T like was coming home to find my dog had diarrhea and had used our bedroom carpet as his bathroom (5 times), and the couch, and the living room floor, and my son's bedroom floor.... we spent the entire night Saturday scrubbing the carpets and bathing the dog!
Anthony, were are you? I need you????
Alright, powers that be... Why, when I was in high school and big permed hair was in, did I have to go to the salon more often than most people because my hair grew so fast and was so thick it had to be permed frequently to keep its poofy-ness. And why, now that big permed hair is NOT in, do I have seemingly increasing natural curliness causing my hair to become bigger and bigger, making me look like I have permed hair?
I guess my mom was always right after all: Life's not fair!
Ok. I am going to admit some hard-learned things here. Why? Because I have a self-diagnosed illness called "vocal exhibitionism" which means: One who cannot refrain from exposing their thoughts to the world. These new-found truths are:
1)I get so nervous when I have to see old friends or family members I haven't seen in a long time. Scratch that- ANY friends or extended family members, period.
2) My hair gets progressively worse the more I stress about something.
3) I will NEVER be able to get through a song at a funeral of someone I was close to. It's just not gonna happen, no matter HOW experienced a singer I am!
4)Not all jell-o is created equal.
and 5) NEVER wear red to a funeral. Just don't do it!
Ok, number 1: Yes. I get very stressed out when seeing old friends and especially extended family. I don't know why. I think it may stem from the fact that I have always felt I don't "fit in". I'm a dork, let's face it. I may paint myself like a normal person, but the dork is always going to peek through at those inopportune moments and say something stupid or completely ridiculous, revealing the "real" me.
2)I have visions of hair grandeur- it just never translates into real life. Especially when I have something important to be to. Why is it my best hair days happen when I don't have anywhere to go that day???
3)I did better at this funeral than I thought I would, but I still didn't make it completely through my duet with my sister. She was the rock, once again. However, I did make the last note, so that's something!
4) Why is it that well-intentioned relief society women striving to bring comfort to grieving family members coming to partake of a generous repast after the difficult ordeal of burrying a loved one have to do strange things to their jello salads, making them look freakishly disgusting and inedible, leaving the grieving hungered ones to stare in puzzlement at the quivering greyish mass with cottage cheese lumps in it sitting in front of their plate and questioning why?
5)Well, this picture should explain why one should just NEVER wear red to a funeral. Even in Utah where not everyone wears black. (wonder when that inner dork reared its ugly head? Ya... can ya tell?)
I am such a dork!
I went dress shopping yesterday. I had in my mind the exact look I wanted, and I was determined to find it.
I found it. A cute little retro-styled black dress. But, I also found another dress I loved. I didn't want to love in... in fact, it scared me.
You see, it is was a wrap dress. I have NEVER been able to figure out wrap dresses. I have often fallen in love with a dress only to discover it was a wrap dress, and I would leave it longingly behind knowing I would end up trapped in it if I dared try it on. I could see the headlines "Woman trapped in dress... took 5 men to rescue her." Ya, me and wrap dresses.... not a good combination.
Yet, I found myself yesterday staring at that lovely moss green wrap dress with the pretty ruffle down the front. I should have just walked away, but it drew me closer. "Try me on.... try me on...." I already had the dress I came for, what was I thinking??? But, I found myself wandering into the dressing room saying "Yes, I have two items, please," taking my little number two, my two dresses, and venturing into the dressing room.
I put on the first dress- the one I came for originally. Cute. Love it. Just as I thought it would be. I'll get it. I took it off very slowly because I knew what was next. The wrap dress.
I took a deep breath and put my arms through the sleeves- all good, nothing wrong. Then...I held out the two waist straps in complete confusion- what to do with the super long straps??? I found a hole in the waist and figured a strap went through there, but which one, and how? I put the wrong one through. I found myself completely twisted up in the straps as I noticed the sign that said "dressing room are monitored". Great, some security guard is getting his laughs right now. I made a face at a screw hole in the wall... hey, you never know if that's actually a camera! (yes, I actually did this... like you don't???)
Anyway, I was so angered by the whole experience I bought the dang dress just to see if I could figure it out. I mean, heck... every other woman in the world can do this, why can't I??? (Ok, most women can make great buttermilk biscuits, too, but I make hockey pucks.)
In desperation, anger,and a bit of shame, I googled "how to tie a wrap dress" when I got home. This great web site walked me through the steps one by one and I saw immediately where I had gone wrong. I put on the dress and it worked! I had done it! AND, I love it!
So I now have two nice cold weather dresses to wear, and I can hold my head up proudly knowing I, too, know the secret to wearing a wrap dress. Thank you!
I love spontaneous dates with my little guy.
Yesterday I was at Gateway to get some movie tickets as a gift for someone and saw they were having a 10th anniversary special- big popcorn and drink- refillable- for only 2 bucks. Oh, and yummy birthday cake, too!
So, I took my little guy back last night to see "Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs" in 3D. IT was sooo adorable!!! And cool to see the food flying at you! I only bought one $2 deal, but it was more than enough because it was refillable!
So, if you are interested- go to the Gateway tonight!!!! (I think Jordan Commons may be doing it, too, but I'm not certain.) Parking was only a dollar with validation, and you can't beat $2 all you can eat popcorn and drinks!!!! And, of course, I had the cutest date there.
(Did I mention we were the only ones in the whole theater??? I love it when that happens!)
Long title... I know. But I've often felt I was born in the wrong era! Yes, I do love modern conveniences like flushing toilets, instant hot water, microwaves (although mine is in the upstairs kitchen and its such a pain to go up and down the stairs to use it I've resorted to warming things up the old fashioned way), television, and chocolate whenever I want it. (I'm pretty sure a hundred years ago chocolate wasn't as readily available. Women had to fit into those tiny corsettes anyway, so they probably didn't eat much chocolate, which is another good reason why I should have been born back then... but that's a whole other topic.) However, a hundred years ago there WERE flushing toilets... in rich homes. That, among other reasons, is why I've decided I should have been born back then.
Why am I thinking about this now? Well, as it happens, I am going to be taking an ocean voyage to far off lands in a few weeks. (see, I'm already speaking the lingo!) I shall be embarking on a large vessel with my husband and son where we will be enjoying a week of peaceful respite and enjoying the many offerings of other cultures. As I think about what this would have entailed a hundred years ago by way of preparations, I can't help but think about my wardrobe.
A woman of the "ton" would not simply throw her old things into her trunk and head off without a thought. No. She would make sure she had new things to adorn herself with so as not to offend the eyes of those she was fortunate to travel with. The latest styles would be carefully selected, fitted, and gently placed between paper to minimize creasing on the voyage. She would also bring along her ladies' maid to help her with dressing and doing her hair for all the gay parties she would attend.
Alas, I have not been able to find my ladies' maid anywhere! I will also not be buying new things. There will be no placing of paper between my cotton/poly blend Old Navy off-the-rack dresses, shorts, and t-shirts. I will be doing my own hair- forever more- and the word "ton" in this day and age is a weight measurement, not a class distinction, and I certainly hope there won't be any gay parties on the cruise ship. This is supposed to be a family friendly ship!
Still, I am freaking excited to go. (Ok, I never would have gotten away with saying "freaking" 100 years ago. Strike one.) I'm also excited to have a whole week to just relax, sun bathe, swim, read, do whatever. I'm really looking forward to just hanging out on the ship. (Although hanging out was probably NOT a good thing 100years ago. Strike two.) And, you can be sure I will not be wearing a corsette, so that's strike three. So much for belonging in the early 1900's.
*Still, I think I would have done well with a ladies maid.
My wise, sweet, gentle, loving, generous, kind, funny, goofy, strong, spiritual, intelligent, perfectly white-haired grandpa died this morning.
He has been living with my mom for several months now. Its been so great to be able to see him when I'd go visit her. Although his body was failing him, he still had witty comments to throw out. He kept me on my toes while I was growing up, and still did near the end of his life!
I had the privelege of growing up just a few blocks from my grandparent's house. He would come and take me and my brother and sister on early Sunday morning walks. We'd eat dinner at their house often, and he would ALWAYS quiz us about things as we sat around the table. I dreaded that part because I wanted him to think I was smart, and I didn't always know the answer to his questions. I think that's where I learned to have a witty retort back... at least I could make him laugh if I didn't know the answer!
He did things in ways only grandpa could. He'd open the carton of ice cream and slice it, placing large rectangle shaped pieces in each ice cream cone. Who else does that?! His favorite ice cream was always maple nut. When he'd immitate a dog barking, he wouldn't say "ruff... ruff..." He'd say, "Booo Woooo Woooo". He was always quoting poetry he'd learned in school growing up. I don't know how he could keep so many words in his brain! I sure couldn't! He didn't even whistle like other people. His whistle was more a tuneful whisper, but he was ALWAYS doing it while working in the yard or fixing a broken part. I will forever hear that in my head.
One Christmas Eve he and grandma stayed at our house. As we hung up our stockings we laughed at his and grandma's- they were REAL socks. Long ones! And grandpa's had a big hole in the toe, under which he'd placed a large bowl. "Grandpa! Your stocking has a hole in the toe!" I'd exclaimed. He responded, "Yes. You see, when Santa fills it up, he will just keep filling and filling and filling it because it will never get full!" Always so clever!
I never EVER heard him raise his voice in anger. He loved singing "The Bluebird" and "Ring, Ring Happy Bells". He was an accomplished jeweler, and patiently helped me learn how to change a watch battery. He was always helping people in need- bring "strays" home for dinner often. My grandpa was such a good example of how a Christlike person should live.
I will miss him so much. His favorite game was "touched ya last." He'd try to touch us just as we walked out the door and say "touched ya last", then get away so we couldn't touch him last. What a wonderful grandpa I had. I will miss you, Grandpa. I love you! Say hi to Grandma for me- I miss her so much, too. And remember, pick out a good one for us, K?
Touched ya last!!!!
