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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Funeral jello, personality issues, and blending in.

Ok. I am going to admit some hard-learned things here. Why? Because I have a self-diagnosed illness called "vocal exhibitionism" which means: One who cannot refrain from exposing their thoughts to the world. These new-found truths are:

1)I get so nervous when I have to see old friends or family members I haven't seen in a long time. Scratch that- ANY friends or extended family members, period.

2) My hair gets progressively worse the more I stress about something.

3) I will NEVER be able to get through a song at a funeral of someone I was close to. It's just not gonna happen, no matter HOW experienced a singer I am!

4)Not all jell-o is created equal.

and 5) NEVER wear red to a funeral. Just don't do it!

Ok, number 1: Yes. I get very stressed out when seeing old friends and especially extended family. I don't know why. I think it may stem from the fact that I have always felt I don't "fit in". I'm a dork, let's face it. I may paint myself like a normal person, but the dork is always going to peek through at those inopportune moments and say something stupid or completely ridiculous, revealing the "real" me.

2)I have visions of hair grandeur- it just never translates into real life. Especially when I have something important to be to. Why is it my best hair days happen when I don't have anywhere to go that day???

3)I did better at this funeral than I thought I would, but I still didn't make it completely through my duet with my sister. She was the rock, once again. However, I did make the last note, so that's something!

4) Why is it that well-intentioned relief society women striving to bring comfort to grieving family members coming to partake of a generous repast after the difficult ordeal of burrying a loved one have to do strange things to their jello salads, making them look freakishly disgusting and inedible, leaving the grieving hungered ones to stare in puzzlement at the quivering greyish mass with cottage cheese lumps in it sitting in front of their plate and questioning why?

5)Well, this picture should explain why one should just NEVER wear red to a funeral. Even in Utah where not everyone wears black. (wonder when that inner dork reared its ugly head? Ya... can ya tell?)


The Parkin Family said...

I completley felt the same way about the jello! The one you were talking about seriously looked like molding cheese! And they put them all on lettuce? What is up with that?? I filled up on the rolls, atleast those were good! And I always thought you were one of the "popular" ones at family gatherings! I'm the dork there because no one talks to me, just like in regular life!

Lauren said...

Oh, come on. You are without a doubt the coolest person I know, especially because you did wear red to a funeral. If I had any red I'm sure I would have worn it too. Besides, dorky is the new cool.