Wow, is that my Peanut Butter Sandwich in there?

In homage to my previous posting , I must bring something to light, and it isn't pretty, I'm going to come right out and admit it...., My name is Erin, (hi, erin) and I had BIG hair in high school,! Boy, was my hair big! And the worst part was I didn't have to do much to make it big, it was natural! Now in my defense, big hair, as you probably know, was really... well, BIG in the late 80's, early 90's. I remember stores sold special hairspray to make it stay big so it didn't deflate on you during history class. Girls would stand in front of the mirrors after gym with big brushes- spraying and teasing and ratting their hair so it would be big again. I have permanantly hairspray coated lungs from that! My hairspray of choice was "Bold Hold'... I wish they still made it. You could spray your hair, and go the whole day without doing anything to it, and even sometimes I'd wake up the next morning and not really have to do much to my big hair! Now all you can find in the stores are products to "tame the frizzies" and smooth the hair. Why would you want to do that~!
Each school had a different big hair trend. Some schools had girls with walls of bangs 6 inches high, like a big tsunami threatening to overtake their heads. At some schools, the trend was more for the "Oompa Loompa" look- wall of bangs curled back at the top, and two flares on the sides by the ears, making a sort of triangle look, with the back of the hair being flat. My school, West High, had a sort of combination look. Big bangs, flared sides, and teased back- an all-over kind of Big, and mine was about the biggest! But, when I moved to another school, all that changed....
Bingham high was a change for me. I was a junior, and pretty settled in my group of friends and social status at West High, but everything was new and different at Bingham. The worst part, there was a girl there with even bigger hair than mine! She was the queen of big hair. I was in awe of the depths her hair had... there seemed to be no end! True, at the end of a long day at school I would find a few pencils lost in my tresses, but SHE would find whole sandwiches, and small children! AND, to top it all off, it was a beautiful red color. Mine only had some hints of red. She was also a senior, so that earned her some automatic awe points as well. I quicly learned I had to do more than just poof my hair at this school to be noticed!
Sometime in college I surrendered to the changing fashions and started to tame the beast. It hasn't been easy. My one-time status symbol has been quashed and beaten down, my identity stripped and flattened. Now, instead of fluffing with my fingers and letting the real me shine, I am forced to come and paste to conform to societies standards. Sometimes I get ready in a hurry and just blow dry my hair. Those times I have- without fail- been told, "Wow. Looking back at the 80's are we?" or "Guns and Roses called, they want their hair back". Ya, I've heard it all. Now that my hair is shorter, it isn't so bad.
Now, I try to bring out my inner hair beast in other ways, such as coloring my hair in different colors quite frequently. It works for now, but someday it's just gonna bust out like a bad 80's movie, and say, "I've had enough! I will NOT be trampled upon any longer! I will NOT be molded into something I am NOT! I protest!!!!" So, when that day comes, and it WILL come my friends, it WILL come....... just remember that it's really the hair that makes the person, not the other way around!

Calling all Prom stories.....

Prom! (big sigh........) A friend of mine posted a blog in which she asks the question "Why does one event when you are 17 stay with you for so long?" I think it is a very good question. Many people have nightmarish stories of their proms, some have very "Pretty in Pink" stories, and I challenge all of you to post your prom stories on your blog for all to laugh at, cry at, sigh at.... etc! I think the memories stay with you because life was on a much smaller scale back then, and your friends and events were your whole life. They molded who you are today!

Although I did go to many dances during high school, prom is, of course, the one I remember most. (I actually wrote another blog, but it was waaaay too long, and not interesting at all. So I am pretty much limiting it to prom.)

Senior Prom: This was a magical night of all nights! My best friend and I had switched our crushes from one guy to another all year, and had finally settled on these two cute guys. (I won't disclose their names for their own protection.) We devised a plan to convince each other's crushes that they HAD to take our friend to the dance. We worked on this for weeks and weeks.! I mean, if we didn't get asked to the dance.... well, we might as well just cease to exist! Ok, there was one guy we didn't want to ask us, everyone has one of those in their school. He was really nice, and really "special" but not enough to want to spend hours on end in an uncomfortably expensive formal on a crowded dance floor with nothing to talk about, trying to avoid having to hold his terribly sweaty and sticky hand for longer than it takes to snap the proverbial prom picture. We would try to avoid him at all costs around dance time. However, we also managed to feel snubbed if he didn't ask us. Go figure! Ok, well, back to the story.

All of our efforts to land the right prom date actually worked! "Rick" (name has been changed) kidnapped me to ask me to the dance, and pretended to be mafia.... I actually thought it was real, but that's another story! You know, no one can actually come out and say, "Hey, you wanna go to the dance with me?" I mean, come on! It just isn't done! You have to plan weeks and weeks ahead and be ultra creative and original, and spend more than it cost to go to the freaking dance to ask someone. (Incidentally, I answered him with a vat of green jello and a thousand tiny little pieces of paper wrapped in foil, and he had to sift through it all in the middle of the lunchroom!)

Anyway, "Rick" picked me up in a big van, with a few other couples, and we drove downtown to a hotel where the dance was. He was the Senior Class president, so we had to help take tickets, and see that things were running smoothly. I was sooo nervous! I had designed my dress, and my mom had made it for me, but the lace was incredibly itchy, and taffeta is NOT breathable, by any means! (I don't know what I was thinking about putting gathers in front.... it isn't really flattering!) He was pretty reserved, didn't hold my hand or anything. I began to wonder if he was going to until we sang the school song where we all have to hold hands, and then he never let go! (Ya, I know...... don't roll your eyes!) I found out later he was just really nervous, too!

That night we were all going to go spend the night at a cabin (we were in a group of 4 couples), but the teacher that owned it got sick, so we got a hotel room at Little America and all hung out there all night. He and I fell asleep on the bed..... (no, no funny business, remember we were in a room full of people, and I was on seminary council!) He took me home the next morning, and it was a magical night... although he was too chicken to kiss me! We continued to date for several months after that, and yes, he finally did kiss me eventually! I'd have to say my senior prom story is pretty good, it still makes me sigh! (Now, Merritt, don't get jealous! You know your proposal story will always be my favorite!) All in all, a pretty magical night. I will always remember my prom!

Now, if you want to do a post on your blog, please link back to Loraleesluneytunes since it was her idea!
below are some pictures from other dances.


Christmas Dance

Valentine's Dance



Senior Dinner Dance, or Prom

Fall Dance in college:

Christmas Dance in college:

Saucy Frocks at Etsy.com is opened for business!

Yes...... it is official!!! Saucy Frocks aprons are now available for purchase on Etsy.com!!!!! Thank you......... really.... thank you.......... No, really....... that's enough.......... thank you!!!!!

(see the image to left linking to my Etsy.com shop. Etsy is a place where you can purchase and sell handmade goods. It's really cool!)

So, if you would please let all your family and friends know about it, I could certainly use the word of mouth...or power of the keyboard, whatever works!

Of course, you can always go to my Saucy Frocks blog and let me know if you want something. Hand delivered is always cheaper!

Anyway, thanks for your wondrous applause!!!!!

This life is a test..... it is only a test!

Yesterday was another testiment to the truth that this life is a test! A total test of my patience and sanity!!!

We now have church at 1 pm, and lately I've noticed Eason having a hard time during church. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he stays up later on Saturday nights, (I try to get him to bed early, honestly!) and is tired by the time church starts. This past week was a little wacked out, too. He was up late on Wednesday night because of a dinner we had to go to. He was up late again on Thursday, and again on Saturday night. Sunday was the breaking point.

I thought all was going well when we arrived at church. He seemed in good spirits, and we sat down on our usual row... (the second row. My mom always made us sit on the second row growing up because she was the organist and needed to keep an eye on us from up on the stand. She'd give us the evil mother eye whenever we were being too noisy. I guess I've always been afraid to sit on any other row the rest of my life, including college! I am sure my mother knows if I sit on any other row than the 2nd!) and we listened to the speakers. It was a cute family that just moved in. Their kids are around Eason's age, and I thought he'd want to hear them speak, but when I looked down at him, he was crying!

"What's wrong, sweetie?"
"I'm just having a hard day...(sniff)"
"Why? I thought you'd be happy to see your friends speaking."
"Mom.... sometimes kids just have a hard day for no reason!"
"What can I do?"
"......(sniff....) Mom, I know you think I don't want to go to primary, but that's not true. I really do, but I am soooo tired, I really need a nap."
(I've used that ploy myself. "Mom, I really have to go to school today, I want to go to school today, but I guess I shouldn't if I'm sick." but for him to actually ask for a nap is a miracle! He would rather take out a thousand garbages than take a nap, so I figured he was really tired!)

I tried to convince him to lie down on my lap and get a few Z's, but he just got more and more upset. Pretty soon, huge tears were streaming down his face, and his nose was officially gushing! It was the last hymn, so I picked up all our stuff.... both Merritt's and My scriptures, both our binders, Eason's sunday pack, EASON, our coats..... you get the picture, and walked up the long isle to the back door, with the whole congregation watching. (Mostly old people... and they always make a point to tell me that I shouldn't get upset with my little boy since these years fly by so quickly... and blah, blah, blah! Like they didn't get upset with their kids when they were little!)

I couldn't find Merritt who was on parking lot security. It was pouring rain! I was in really high heels, with both Merritt's and My scriptures, both our binders, Eason's sunday pack, EASON, our coats..... we walked all the way around the church to the other side. I finally found Merritt, and grabbed the car keys and left. Yes, I left Merritt at church.... but I had taken all his stuff! I got Eason home and in bed, then Merritt called me from church. I was supposed to do part of the lesson in Young Women's, and asked him if he could come home and trade me, but he had no way of getting home, and I couldn't leave Eason, we were both trapped. I asked Merritt to tell the person giving the lesson that I had to go home with Eason, and he said he would. But, he forgot! I was mortified when he got home (after hitching a ride) and told me he had completely forgotten to tell her!!! Sorry, Jutta, I am really not a flake!!!! I promise!!!!

So, I know this posting is really rather boring..... Anyway, we hurried and ate dinner after Eason woke up from a 3 hour nap, then packed him off and we went to choir until 10:00 pm! I only hope he doesn't have a total melt down in school. If he does, I'm telling them to deal with it, it's their job!!! I'm going to the gym to work off my frustration!!!!

My "Africa" pants!

I used to be a fashion snob. It's true. In high school, I would not blink at spending $100 for a cute pair of pants, or $60 for a nice shirt. Of course, it wasn't MY money, it was my parents'! I would buy ONLY those name brands deemed worthy by my fellow peers... Guess, Girbaud, Gap, Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, etc. I even had to wear Victoria's Secret undies! Like who's gonna see my undies?! (Actually, I really miss how they fit and felt....and all the cute colors and patterns......) My tops usually always matched my socks... I mean exactly! I never left the house without full makeup and hair. I don't like to say I have let myself go to pot, but now that I am spending my own money on clothes, things are very different!

I think in College is when I realized all those name brands don't matter. In college, it's kind of cool to look, well.... like a starving college student! I think people actually turned their noses up at me on my first day in college. I remember wearing a cute printed button down shirt from the Gap, and my tights matched the print of my shirt exactly! (looking back, it was pretty nerdy in a "Some Kind of Wonderful" - "Amanda Jones" kind of way. I had on a pair of really expensive alligator shoes, and really big hair. (Yes, it was reeeeeaaallly big!) I quickly learned that I was waaaay to overdressed for the real world. Granted, when I got an office job, I had to look the part, but none of my friends or classmates wanted me to look like I was at work when they were with me. So, I donned a pair of well-worn jeans, and comfy sweater, and began my life as someone who doesn't care what brand my clothes are, or how much they cost.

With that said, I just plunked down $45 dollars for a pair of jeans. Yes, they were on sale, (originally $60.... gulp!) and I happened to be using my Macy's gift card my sweet husband gave me for Christmas, so it wasn't really my money, but I still feel like I am yanking food out of starving children's mouths somewhere in Africa. Yes, I really like how they feel, and they may make my butt look a little smaller... (like a Rhino's as opposed to an Elephant's), but even as I wear them, I am filled with guilt. (I tried to get a picture of the jeans actually ON me, but do have any idea how hard it is to take a flattering picture of your own behind?!)

I am a "What Not To Wear"- aholic. It's a show that takes really badly dressed frumpy people and teaches them how to dress to flatter their figures, and show their bodies off in the best way. Sometimes I cry when I see the change in some people. (The model-looking girl who wore safety pins all the way up the inside of her dress pant leg, who had no self-esteem made me bawl like a baby.... of course, it was that time of the month!) I try to take ideas from that show and work them into my own little life. It's hard, though. I am a stay-at-home mom with nowhere to go, and nothing to do but clean and do laundry and shop. It's not like I'm going to wear dress pants and a nice blazer every day. Besides, I have this uncanny ability to spill all over whatever I just put on within 5 minutes of putting it on. So, it's usually Old Navy T's and jeans for me!

Which brings me back to the jeans. I own one pair of jeans.... (well, up til now it was only one.) I usually wear them every day for about a week, take them off to hurry and throw them in the washing machine, wait and wait to leave the house until they are done drying so I can wear them again for another week. Sure, I can afford to buy more, but I really like these jeans, and I don't think I can find any others that make me feel so cozy, and I'd much rather dress my husband and son cute! But, taking a good hard look at my sorry jeans, I had to admit that I really should go get more. I got these from Old Navy.... on sale for $4! Where am I going to find another deal like that again? But, I had this gift card burning a hole in my pocket, and Merritt said "Go buy yourself something nice" so what do I get? Jeans. I got some other killer deals more up my price alley, like $80 dress pants for $9.99, Cute $70 jacket for.... yep, $9.99, so I guess splurging on $45 jeans isn't so bad when you average it out. It would be like I spent $21 per item, which is not bad at all. I guess I'll look at it that way. Then I won't feel horribly guilty every time I wear them. Then again, maybe I'll just call them my "Africa" pants to remind me of how unimportant expensive clothing really is in the big picture.

Germs... Pass it On!

I hate Germs! (informative video about Germs)Let me specify that even further.... I hate sickness, doctors, hospitals, any place sick people or doctors who have germs from sick people on them are, anything related to or pertaining to germs, sickness, bodily functions.... so, yes, I'd have to include bathrooms in this as well..... you get the idea! (disclaimer: I don't dislike doctors as people, I dislike the reasons for needing doctors!)

I've had to spend a lot of time in hospitals and health clinics lately. My poor dad has had a lot of health problems and I've been fortunate enough to accompany him to various hospitals. I also came down with a bout of Strep throat at Christmas time and was blessed to be able to sit in the waiting room of the health clinic surrounded by germs on every surface!

Merritt will attest to my germaphobia. In fact, I've become a bit OCD when it comes to germs. I don't like touching doornobs, I try not to breathe too deeply in public places, I try not to breathe at all in hospitals! (the nurses usually think I'm suffering from a breathing disorder because I turn blue in the face and gasp a lot.) I think I can actually see the little buggers festering and hovering in the air, lurking on the arms of the chairs, stealthily slithering their way up my hands, into my nostrils and mouth..... leering at me from all corners of the room. I actually think I got strep throat from being in the emergency room a few days before.

I love that they put those little hand pumps of antibacterial wash by each room door and elevator in hospitals, though. I use those obsessively! I wish others would. I would put it in my mouth if I could! I wish they had those at every door in every building in every city, in every country!

I also wish they had radar or laser sensors on all bathroom entrances in buildings. I KNOW a lot of people don't wash their hands after they do their business! If they had some loud alarm that went off if people didn't wash their hands, maybe a loud speaker announcing "Unclean! Unclean! Please return to the bathroom and wash thoroughly! Unclean!" They could even have dye packs like banks put in bags of money that are being stolen, so that if a person doesn't wash their hands they would come out looking bright purple or something! And everything they touch would be bright purple, so you'd know someone who hadn't washed their hands had touched that item.

I also think public expulsion of personal gas...... (or farting, as is otherwise known) would be prohibited. Indoor smoking is prohibited, so why not farting? Why can't people discreetly excuse themselves from the room to let out their gaseous buildup? I truly believe there are little "Fart Spores" that are let out in the gas that can hover in the air and are carried into the body through the nasal air passages. Who knows what harm they can do in the long term? Maybe we will find they are linked to cancer! Who knows?!

So, before you go calling the looneybin on me, just check yourself for a minute. Are you feeling a litte creepy-crawly after reading this? Are you wondering just how many germs are waiting on your keyboard, your mouse... just watching and waiting until the moment they can hitch a ride onto your fingers and worm their way into your mouth when you grab that handful of crackers on your desk? I thought so.... maybe I'm not so crazy after all!

I'm thinking of wearing a hazmat suit when I go visit my dad at the hospital today. I may get some weird looks, but who'll be doing the laughing when they get a rare form of skin disease and I don't? Huh? I thought so!!!!

The Unveiling.......

I can't wait any longer!!!! I wasn't going to reveal my new home business until I got the web site totally up and running, but since I got my new display bust in the mail, I just can't wait. So....... here it goes........... (drumroll, please...............................................)

The name is Saucy Frocks! I will be making cute and sassy little aprons! I am still working on some of the styles, but this one is for sure, so I thought I'd post a picture of it for you. (I know, it's not the best picture, but I will get some really nice ones taken as soon as I get the different styles done.) I'm going to make them in 2 sizes, so everyone can look cute in them!

You could go to http://www.saucyfrocks.com/, but there's nothing much there. (I haven't got a clue as to how to set up a web site!) I'll probably just sell them on Ebay for a while, anyway. At any rate, I will definitely keep you posted as it progresses..... hopefully very quickly.
So, world.... meet my new baby! Isn't she cute?

Friday Night Cooking Club!

I have a wacky idea! Why don't we friends get together for a cooking club? Maybe one night a month, or twice a month? Maybe each couple takes a turn at hosting the dinner, getting the menu together, and we could even do it over at the church where there's room for everyone? We could either sample dishes the host has prepared, or we could all cook it together and learn new meals? We could each contribute like $5 per person for the dinner, or something? It would be a cheap date! The dinners wouldn't have to be super gourmet, but if you like cooking, I'm sure there would be plenty of stuff to come up with!

I'm interested in your feedback, so comment!

Fun for All!

Yesterday we went sledding with some people from church. I have never been much for sledding, myself. I love being out in the snow, I love watching other people soar down the long hill, and I love the hot chocolate when it gets cold. But, I have to say, I don't love getting wet and cold snow down the back of my pants, or the way my tail bone feels after a day of sledding. Therefore, I usually decline to go down the hill myself.

Merritt made me go down yesterday. Yes, he has a way of making me feel guilty enough that I will do something I would never normally do. For example, he made me go on the "Rocket" ride at Lagoon. It pulls you up, feet dangling into nothingness, about 4000 miles high, then you hover there peeing your pants as you can see all the way to Egypt.... then suddenly just drops you to your death! Yeah, that sounds like loads of fun, doesn't it? And I'm deathly afraid of heights!!!!

So, when Merritt prodded me to go down the hill..... the smallest one mind you, I wasn't terribly excited about it. But, I felt guilty.... and like an absolute fool in front of the people from my ward. (Some of which, are probably reading this.) So, I went. The feeling of being entirely out of control as you go careening down a mountain on a piece of rubber, backwards, is just not my cup of tea. But, I did it, and lost my favorite glove in the process. There, are you happy, Merritt?

However, Eason had a total blast!!! He has no fear! As his mother, I fear for his no fear! I am glad he has a dad who loves to do things like that, too. They make a great pair. After digging snow out of my underwear, I guess I had fun, too. Next time, though, I think I'll continue to have fun watching and cheering..... sans snow in the pants!

Table for 3, please....

Dinner at Le Erin last night .....

The Table:

The table was laden with a red satin brocade cloth, White bass-relief Noritake china delicately positioned at each place, tall crystal goblets lingered near the soft white candles illuminated with a gentle glow.

The Food:

Broiled parmesan basil salmon with a creamy garlic dipping sauce, lemon asparagus, couscous with olive oil and garlic , butterflied jumbo shrimp (all homemade, of course)

The Dessert:

A light chocolate mousse topped with creme fraiche and a hazlenut creme de Pirouline perched alongside

Best comment of the evening:

"Mommy....... I hope I get a wife just like daddy has someday!"

My Valentine's couldn't have been any better!!!!

Update on Meeting with Teacher

For an update on the meeting with Eason's teacher, click here. I think it's worth the effort, if only for a quick step back in time!

Valentines Questionaire

1. How long have you been together? Married for 8 years, 3 months, 23 days, together for 9 years, 1 month
3. How old are you? 34, Merritt is 31... almost 32!
4. Who eats more? Merritt eats a little more, usually. But he can eat me under the table when it comes to sweets.

5. Who said “I love you” first? I did, but he agreed

6. Who is taller? Merritt
7. Who sings better? Merritt says I do, but his voice always melts my heart!

8. Who is smarter? Merritt, by far!!!! But I surprise him sometimes

9. Who does the laundry? Most always, me.

10. Who does the dishes? Me, me me

11. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I sleep on the right if you are looking at it, but Merritt sleeps on the "good" side, mine is the dark side.

12. Who pays the bills? I pay them with the money Merritt makes

13. Who mows the lawn? I used to do it more than Merritt, but we've started doing it together, he mows, I weed wack, he re-does what I messed up!
14. Who cooks dinner? I always cook dinner

15. Who is more stubborn? I think Merritt is!
16. Who kissed whom first? Merritt kissed me first because I let him

17. Who asked whom out? We never went out on a date before we were married. But, Merritt initiated the relationship

18. Who proposed? Merritt, he was commanded to, otherwise he wouldn't have!

19. Who is more sensitive? It depends on the time of the month!

20. Who has more friends? Merritt

21. Who has more siblings? Merritt

22. Who wears the pants in the relationship? Merritt does, I like skirts usually, but I think he secretly wishes he could wear them, too!

Getting Nowhere.... Fast!

You probably sat in your nice cozy home last night during the snow storm watching all the stupid people venture out into the bleakness to play chicken with fate, right? We were those stupid people!

We had a choir rehearsal last night, and since we get money toward our Europe trip if we attend all rehearsals, we felt we had to go. We got into our car at 6:00 pm and slowly ventured out into the fray, heading toward 7500 South. (we are on 2800 S.) I suggested we take State Street there instead of the freeway because at 6pm I knew the freeway would be bumper-to-bumper. Merritt said we should take the freeway, and since he's "always" right, we took the freeway. Of course, it was bumper-to-bumper! We got off at 33rd south and headed toward State Street. By 6:30 we had made it to State Street. By 6:45 we were already at 39th south! At a little after 7, we had made it to 45th south. By 7:15, we were near 6200 S, but Eason had to go Potty. We pulled over at a Christian book store- (which, incidentally had no Sherri Dew books!) and when we got back on the road, it was almost 7:30. About 15 minutes later we finally pulled into the parking lot of the church we were rehearsing at.

So, at trip that normally takes us 10 minutes took us an hour and 40 minutes!!!! It was a great night. Today, I get to meet with Eason's teacher. After last night, I'm in a GREAT mood!

post script to below posting:

read Braveheart…. the Sequel from my other blog if you haven't yet filled your quota for mindless ramblings today.

That Explains Everything!

I was thinking about the drama we are going through with Eason's teacher right now. How could I not? She produces new, unimaginable foibles each day for our delight! But, it has caused me to remember a teacher I had back in 2nd grade, who's ineptitude surprisingly surpassed that of Eason's teacher.

Mrs. D..... I will call her that to save myself from any chance of this getting back to her, it would be just my luck to have the impossible happen! Anyway, Mrs. D. was a pittiable person. As I reflect back on the whole situation, I now realize she was, in no way, qualified to be in charge of a classroom of children. I knew this then, as well, and felt bad for her even then, but due to the effect it had on my situation at the time, I couldn't feel badly enough for her to want her to stay!

Mrs. D. had absolutely NO control over our classroom. It didn't help that there were some "special" students in there who were not the best behaved. Back then, they didn't have anywhere else to put the "special" kids, I guess. Either that, or I was "special'' and never knew it! (ok, yes, I left it wide open!) Anyway, these kids would run wild in the classroom.

There were two boys, William and Jesse, who were the ring leaders of the chaos. I actually had enough smarts to befriend these two, as I figured it would be better to be on their good side than on the receiving end of their excess energy. This was very wise, I must say. They sat by the pencil sharpener, and would lift up the dresses of all the girls that came to use it! Ironically, though, they wouldn't do it to the ones they actually liked. They would go around the room and..... yes, it is very cliche, but they'd put tacks on everyone's chairs, including the teacher's. Of course, they wouldn't put them on their own chairs, or the girl's they liked! Inevitably, the teacher would come back from lunch and sit right down on the tacks on her chair. I remember this happening more than once, and you would think she would have learned to look before sitting, but she never did. Once, Jesse hid behind her chair and when she went to sit down, he pulled it out from behind her and she landed flat on her tush. I always felt so bad for her.

There was another kid in our class named Raymond. (I later found out he ended up in Prison for murder, so I doubt he'll read this, and even if he does, what's he going to do about it?) He was a real punk. We were all afraid of him, so if he took our pencil, or a book we were reading, we didn't put up a fight. It was his! One day, he had done something the teacher didn't like, so she tried to get him to go to the principal's office. He wouldn't go, so she ended up chasing him around and around the room! I still remember being mortified that the teacher had absolutely no way of controlling him! Once, she actually caught him, and sat on top of him on the floor with his hands above his head, pinned down. This would never happen in this day and age, for sure!

The funniest thing that happened that year involved Willy and Jesse, again. It was a really rainy day, and we weren't allowed to go outside for recess. We were in a very old school, and there were doors to the bathrooms that led outside onto the playground. Willy and Jesse snuck off to the bathrooms after lunch, and when it was time to go back into the classroom, they were no where to be found. As the teacher was rounding us all up, she suddenly gasped in horror. Outside in the rain, sopping wet, and naked as the day they were born, were Jesse and Willy! They were dancing and jumping out in the rain! They knew she wouldn't go after them in the pouring rain, especially because they were buck naked! I still remember their slick wet, white bodies in the rain! We also got our first anatomy lesson that day!

Although that year was the worst year of schooling in my gradeschool years, I will be forever grateful for Willy and Jesse's comic relief that got us through it all!

Needless to say, that teacher was eventually dismissed, or maybe she quit. I don't even remember how long she lasted, but the next one was very strict! I will never forget that year in school, though.

Warping Young Minds!

Ok. Most of you know my twisted little mind. If you don't, you're about to! If you wish to remain ignorant of my true colors, please stop here. If you are no longer surprised, by all means, continue.

I must start this little story off with a jump back in time. I have a little sister, 3 years younger, who I loved to psychologically torture. She was feistier than me, so I had to get back the only way I could. For example, I tried to make her believe she was a boy, and she was gay. My case was pretty strong, she had short hair, had smelly feet like a boy (sorry Laur!) and was pretty impressionable. She would whine and complain that she wasn't, but over time, I was able to convince her..."Well, you're gay because you like boys. And you are a boy". Yes, I know it was mean, but she's prettier than I am now, and has a great husband and 3 gorgeous kids, so no lasting damage.

I loved to pretend to drop dead on her, all the time! I'd run home from school ahead of her and pour ketchup on myself and lay on the kitchen floor for her to find me. She'd freak out, I'd laugh, then feel bad. (Yes, I would feel bad.) We'd be watching t.v. and I'd suddenly gasp, grab my chest and fall to the floor. She'd freak out, I'd laugh, then feel bad.

You get the idea, right? Well, now I have another young mind to warp. Isn't that what kids are for? Now, don't go calling Family Services on me. I'm not nearly as bad as I was. I mean, it is my own sweet child, not my little sister. But, sometimes it's too good to resist! Like, I've convinced him I know everything there is to know in the whole world.... harmless, right?

Last night, we were flipping channels in a rare moment when we are all watching t.v. together. We happened upon a Justin Timberlake concert. We watched it for a minute, and Eason asked who Justin Timberlake was. Merritt immediately said, "That's me up there!" Yes, it was Merritt who said it first, so I'm not entirely to blaim. Eason started lauging and said it could be him. I said of course it is, look at his clothes. He was wearing something similar to what Merritt was wearing. We continued to try to convince him daddy really IS Justin Timberlake. He even go up and danced. It looked surprisingly like Justin! Eason was becoming convinced, so we told him to get up and dance for us and maybe daddy would put him in the show. So, after some coaxing, he did. It was soooooo cute! When he finished he asked, "So, do I get to be in the show?" I know he didn't really believe it was true, but I also know he wasn't certain it wasn't true!

I love my little buddy! I promise I will NEVER pour ketchup on myself and play dead! That would probably cost me years of counseling fees for him. But I will still try to carry on the facade that I really do know everything in the world.

PMS and Taxes

This is it, tax time is definitely here. I can tell because my pulse quickens, and becomes irregular. My hair tends to be unmanageable during tax time, as well. My eyes seem to become shiftier, my sentences more clipped, and my mood agitated. Ok, it could be PMS, as my symptoms are identical, but I am certain it is tax time because Merritt gets a twinkle in his eye. Yes, anything finance related and Merritt gets absolutely giddy..... something that doesn't happen when I'm PMS'ing. I, on the other hand, absolutely HATE discussing, mentioning, thinking about, smelling, looking at, anything related to money! Ok, I do like to spend it, but that's the only thing I like about money! So, when this time of year comes around, I just want to get a heating pad, a pint of Ben and Jerry's "Everything but the...." and crawl into bed watching "Pride and Prejudice". (I do the same when PMS'ing, if you must know! )

Incidentally, when the two come simultaneously....... watch out world! Put a sign on our door that says:

Beware! Proceed with great caution! Enter at your own risk! We are not responsible for loss of life or limb in the event things should go badly while inside. If Erin starts to twitch, even a little, and her breathing becomes shallow and quick, run for your life! (and please take Merritt and Eason with you!)

or perhaps a simpler one would just read:

Watch for flying objects!

I am a Yoga Goddess!!!

"Breathe....... deeply, slowly.......... feel the strength flow through your body as you slowy and smoothly rise off your mat while exhaling........"

NO, this is not a dream, it was my morning yoga instructor. No, I don't go to a public place to humiliate myself in front of a class full of skinny, freakily limber yoga maniacs, I watch it in the privacy of my livingroom on a DVD. (where my son laughs at me and tells me I'm not doing it like the lady on the screen...... Ya, I know!!!)

I have issues with Yoga, but I am forcing myself to do it anyway. In the end, I really do feel more "centered".... whatever that means, and I am at least stretched out. I can bend more easily throughout the day to pick up countless socks and crayons. And I guess I am a little more patient and calm, so I continue to force myself into this routine almost every morning.

"Gently place your yoga brick underneath your bottom as you sit straight and reach for the sky..."

Ok, gently? I have to roll totally off the mat to get the yoga brick where I'm supposed to sit on it, then try not to fall off it as it wobbles underneath me. Am I doing it right? I look at the tv and she is perfectly still and calm. I must be doing it wrong, but how many sides to a brick are there? I try it the long way, the tall way.... Owe! That can't be right! Besides, it's made of foam... It's not like it's the sturdiest thing around. Although, before I had the brick I was using soup cans. Believe me, sitting on the brick is MUCH better than the soup can!!!!


"Reach your hands outward and breathe." (Yes, I have to constantly be reminded to breathe. It's true. I have no problem every other minute of my life, but when doing yoga I tend to stop breathing altogether. ) "Breathe...... and as your reach your hands out, feel yourself widening, reaching, becoming freer....."

Ok, I definitely feel the widening part. But, I thought I was supposed to fix that with yoga! The free part? Well, I feel shaky and wobbly, and a little faint? Are you supposed to see spots in front of your eyes doing this?

"While placing your hands on your brick, gently lift your bottom into the air. Lengthen your legs and feet......... equally distribute the weight between your hands and feet........... feel calm.... relaxed....... be present....."

Present? Where else would I be, trying not to fall over sideways onto the dog who seems to think I look strange for some reason! How does one "gently" lift ones bottom into the air while feeling calm and relaxed, anyway? It isn't a natural position. Do you ever see people in the grocery store doing that? "Oh ya, I do it when I get stressed out a the meat department! It helps me feel calm and relaxed."

Merritt comes in the room. I hurry and try to look relaxed, calm, present. I'm trying to lay on the mat with my feel "firmly" on the ground while lifting my abdomen high into the air. I try as hard as I can to look like I know what I'm doing..... to look like the lady on tv. He looks at me for a minute, then says..."are you sure you're doing that right?" One look from me sends him scurrying from the room.

My routine is finally over. However, I refuse to say "Namas-te" at the end like the lady does. It feels strange..... are Mormon's supposed to say that? (tee hee) Boy, do I feel "present", though. I can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to do that every day!

Tomorrow I think I'll make Merritt do it with me!

It's Not Too Late To Save Yourselves... if you're under 6!

"A 6 year old should be able to discipline himself. He should be self-motivated. He should be able to do his work without being reminded."

(These are the words my son's teacher said to me this morning when I went to his class to see for myself why he hasn't been able to get his work done in class. )

I'm sorry, but if any of you have had a 6 year old, you probably laughed at that statement. I mean, Really!!! I would be very worried if I had a child that WAS self motivated, and didn't have to be reminded to do things! Yes, it would be heaven, but part of our punishment on this earth for having tormented our parents is that we have children just like us, who have to be constantly reminded to do things- it's the part of the "trial" phase of this earth life that is supposed to "afflict and torment" us! So, when my child's 1st grade teacher tells me that she expects all her children to manage their own time and be self-motivated, I have to wonder, what planet did you get your degree on?!

I sat in that classroom today during what is supposed to be reading time. Every child in there was talking and laughing with eachother, their stack of books left untouched on their desks. (with the exception to the 2 or 3 who were actually reading, there's always the quiet introverted ones.) The teacher sat at her desk making phone calls, or writing, never once telling the class to be quiet. In my day.... oh, here I go, sounding old. I guess it can't be helped, to my son I AM old! Anyway, in MY day talking was NOT allowed in class! Remember how your teacher would make you all be perfectly quiet, and there'd always be that one kid who'd make a vulgar noise and the whole class would laugh, and the teacher would look up and demand to know who it was! Anyway, this teacher just expects the kids to get their work done while they talk! First Graders!!!

Now, I don't have a teaching degree, but I did go to college for 6 years. It seems to me, first grade is where the teacher actually teaches the children. (College is where they teach themselves. At least in my case!) Is it too much for me to expect that when I pay taxes for my son's education, that he might actually be educated? That includes teaching a child how to focus during class, and how to stay on task, doesn't it? According to her, school is different now then it was when I was in school. (Ya, they show DVD's in stead of videos, have computer lab where each kid gets their own computer whereas my day the whole class crammed around one brand spankin new computer and no one know how to use it, and text messaging is banned instead of passing creatively folded paper notes.) Other than that, it's pretty much the same- first graders are still 6 and 7, boys still think girls are no different, (cooties comes next year, I think), kids talk until told to be quite.... or else, and self motivation is in the far distant future!

I recall becoming somewhat self-motivated and self-disciplined somewhere during my Junior year, I think it was a monday, and I was motivated to get out of bed early for school, but that was probably because there was actually a cute boy in my first period who I wanted to sit by, now that I think about it.

So, I guess all this ranting and rambling isn't going to solve the problem- my son is not self-motivated, or self-disciplined. Yes, he is 6, but that's no excuse. I guess I'd better stop telling him to clean his room, do his homework, pick up after himself, stop teasing the dog, be nice to his friends, don't sneak toys to school in his backpack, wear his coat, don't wipe his face on his shirt, eat all his green beans, and don't wipe boogers on your bed sheets. I mean, if he doesn't do it by now, he's never going to, right? So, when should it be taught? I think those of you with 9-15 months olds, you'd better start drilling self-discipline into those babies right away, when they turn 6 it's just too late! We'll be filling out our papers for the State Penn next week. I hear they may be making breakthroughs in teaching self-discipline to people over 6, but we'll see.

Snow- Driven to Madness....

(a Haiku in 3 parts, by Erin Taylor)

Ehhhh....... Hem.........

Part the First: Little Devils

Oh, little snowflakes,
Why do you torture me so?
I have had enough!

Part the Second: Retribution

I will take revenge!
Choppping, Throwing, Violently
ending little lives...

part the Third Inner Peace

Warmed by hot chocolate
I laugh at their muffled cries
for here comes the snow plow!

Going to Paris!!!!

I think it's time I start getting excited. Merritt and I are going to Paris, Wales, and England in June! (Thus the french music you are now listening to~) We are going with our choir, and we'll be there for 14 days!

First, we will be stopping in Wales to have a druid ceremony in cloaks and hoods at Stonehenge. (Ok, well maybe I'll bring my druid cloak, if I can find it!)

Then it's on to the birthplace of William Shakespeare, and then to Cantebury, where we get to stay in an awesome castle-looking thing! I am just soooo excited~ After the awesome castle-looking thing, we go to Paris! I am going to make Merritt buy me a rose and wear tight pants and dance around the streets with a tight butt and sing to me like Gene Kelly in "An American in Paris".

I hope we get a chance to go see the "Palace of Versailles"

I am totally obsessed with all things castle and palace! We will be singing in the Cathedral of Notre Dame! Merritt is pretty excited about that!

So, it should be a totally awesome trip! I'd better watch "French Kiss" a few times to brush up on my French!

If You Didn't Laugh, You'd Run Screeming From the Room!

Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the greatest thing in my life. With that said, I must comment that some of the people in my church aren't always what you would consider "normal". Let me just recount some of the interesting people I have attended church with over my 34 years on this earth, who have certainly made life interesting....

1)
In my ward growing up, there was a funny little man who was just a little "off". He got up one Sunday for testimony meeting and as he walked to the front of the chapel it became blaringly obvious he was wearing a wig. He bore his testimony, and at the end he said, "and I just want you all to know that sometimes things are not as they seem...." at which time he then quickly pulled off the wig in a dramatic fashion and walked off the stand. We were all stunned! Of course, being children, my brother and I had no hessitation whatsoever at bursting into laughter!

2)
Our ward had a talent show one night. A young woman was going to play the accordian, and walked up onto the stand. The accompanist started, and she began her song. Shortly into it, though, something must have gone horribly wrong, although it wasn't aparent to any of us, because she suddenly started sinking down. She just kept sinking and sinking until she was completely out of sight behind the 3 foot wooden wall on the stand! I wondered how long she was going to lay down there before she had the courage to get up again! She eventually slunk off the stage. We never found out what went wrong.

3)
We had backwards day in our Sunday School one day when I was little. Everyone was to come dressed backwards. When my brother and I arrived at the church, we were mortified at what we saw. My brother's Sunday School teacher was wearing not only her clothes backwards, but her bra and undies outside her clothes. She was, well..... very well endowed, to say the least, and there's nothing like having your teacher's 48 triple-E's staring you in your 10 year old face!!!! I think it messed my poor brother up for life!

and the last one:
4)
In my current ward, there are several people who make me giggle, but one stands out in particular. She is the salt of the earth, don't get me wrong! I actually admire her ability to speak her mind and not care what anybody else things. But, it makes me laugh because in Sunday School she is in charge of getting the role around the room. She takes this job seriously! She announces at the beginning of class which way the roll is supposed to travel around the room, and then throughout the class she keeps a constant eye to make sure no one strays from the outlined way. If it somehow finds itself going across the row when it should go back, or vice-versa, she will stand up and in her loud voice direct those committing the crime to do it right! There is no thought to how this disrupts the lesson, or if it interrupts the teacher's very spiritual moment.... the roll must go on!!!!! It makes everyone laugh!

Afraid of the Blog!

When I started this blog, I received a strange reaction from more than one person who will remain unnamed (for my protection)! It seems some people may be threatened by blogging. I guess it's just ignorance about what a blog really is, but when I mentioned the word "Blog" it sent a certain green- eyed monster sniffing the air in hungry desperation. Maybe some people feel threatened of the possibility I could spend all my time blogging, which might cause me to neglect other duties, or maybe it's the possibility I might write something incriminating? The following conversation took place regarding my blog:

"So, you're blogging now?" (like it's a bad thing)

"Yeah. I really like it. It's fun."

"Can anyone read your blog?" (note the focus on the word anyone)

"Well, yes, I suppose so."

"It's like you live in this whole other world that we know anything about, now!"

"It's just me keeping in touch with people I know. It's not like I have an alter-identity or anything. " (which, as you know, is tempting )


"I feel like I don't know you anymore!!!"

"Well....... you can always read my blog! :)"

Blonde roots, or Multiple Personality?

Yes, I admit it, I have two blogs. This one, and one on Wordpress- http://iuverin.wordpress.com/ . Ok, the real reason: you know how in high school when you’d get back from Christmas vacation you would forget your locker combination? No? This never happened to you? Well, I would forget my locker combination after the weekend! I started carrying ALL my books in my bag so I didn’t have to face the humiliation of standing and staring at my locker with a blank look while everyone passed by saying, “Hey Erin, do you have blonde roots?” ( I started coloring my hair blonde so people would stop asking me that question.)

Anyway, I figured if I have two blogs, the chance of me forgetting one are pretty high, but with two, I’d be pretty certain I’d at least always be able to find one! At any rate, I have two, and maybe I’ll just keep them and put different things on each….. who knows? Maybe I’ll create a whole alter- identity (I already change my haircolor about as often as that chick on “Alias”) and live in a fantasy world on one one blog, where I make up exciting things that happen to me ….. hmmmm……… tempting!

The Principal is a Vampire!

conversation with Eason this morning:

"Mom, I'm having a hard time today."

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"My principal is a vampire."

(me, trying not to laugh......)

"What makes you think that?"

(Eason trying not to cry.... lip quivering)

"I had a dream he turned into a vampire and chased me at school."

"Well, sweetie, it was just a dream. You know Mr McClellan would never do anything like that. Besides, he looks just like Santa Clause." (only he's really thin!)

"No, Mom. I looked out the window this morning and the school looked just like it did in my dream, and the street lights were on just like in my dream, and the neighbor's house looks like it did in my dream!"

"Well, maybe you'd better not go to school today, then. If you really think your principal is a vampire! Maybe we should call the police! Go get me the phone right now before any other kids get to school, hurry!"

(short pause......)

"Mom, you know that couldn't happen! Mr McClellan looks just like Santa Clause!"

"Ok, then go get ready for school".

* reverse psychology has never failed with him yet!!!!!!