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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Germs... Pass it On!

I hate Germs! (informative video about Germs)Let me specify that even further.... I hate sickness, doctors, hospitals, any place sick people or doctors who have germs from sick people on them are, anything related to or pertaining to germs, sickness, bodily functions.... so, yes, I'd have to include bathrooms in this as well..... you get the idea! (disclaimer: I don't dislike doctors as people, I dislike the reasons for needing doctors!)

I've had to spend a lot of time in hospitals and health clinics lately. My poor dad has had a lot of health problems and I've been fortunate enough to accompany him to various hospitals. I also came down with a bout of Strep throat at Christmas time and was blessed to be able to sit in the waiting room of the health clinic surrounded by germs on every surface!

Merritt will attest to my germaphobia. In fact, I've become a bit OCD when it comes to germs. I don't like touching doornobs, I try not to breathe too deeply in public places, I try not to breathe at all in hospitals! (the nurses usually think I'm suffering from a breathing disorder because I turn blue in the face and gasp a lot.) I think I can actually see the little buggers festering and hovering in the air, lurking on the arms of the chairs, stealthily slithering their way up my hands, into my nostrils and mouth..... leering at me from all corners of the room. I actually think I got strep throat from being in the emergency room a few days before.

I love that they put those little hand pumps of antibacterial wash by each room door and elevator in hospitals, though. I use those obsessively! I wish others would. I would put it in my mouth if I could! I wish they had those at every door in every building in every city, in every country!

I also wish they had radar or laser sensors on all bathroom entrances in buildings. I KNOW a lot of people don't wash their hands after they do their business! If they had some loud alarm that went off if people didn't wash their hands, maybe a loud speaker announcing "Unclean! Unclean! Please return to the bathroom and wash thoroughly! Unclean!" They could even have dye packs like banks put in bags of money that are being stolen, so that if a person doesn't wash their hands they would come out looking bright purple or something! And everything they touch would be bright purple, so you'd know someone who hadn't washed their hands had touched that item.

I also think public expulsion of personal gas...... (or farting, as is otherwise known) would be prohibited. Indoor smoking is prohibited, so why not farting? Why can't people discreetly excuse themselves from the room to let out their gaseous buildup? I truly believe there are little "Fart Spores" that are let out in the gas that can hover in the air and are carried into the body through the nasal air passages. Who knows what harm they can do in the long term? Maybe we will find they are linked to cancer! Who knows?!

So, before you go calling the looneybin on me, just check yourself for a minute. Are you feeling a litte creepy-crawly after reading this? Are you wondering just how many germs are waiting on your keyboard, your mouse... just watching and waiting until the moment they can hitch a ride onto your fingers and worm their way into your mouth when you grab that handful of crackers on your desk? I thought so.... maybe I'm not so crazy after all!

I'm thinking of wearing a hazmat suit when I go visit my dad at the hospital today. I may get some weird looks, but who'll be doing the laughing when they get a rare form of skin disease and I don't? Huh? I thought so!!!!


Jen said...

While germs are certainly lurking everywhere, it is nothing to get all crazy about. Our wonderful bodies are amazing! The more germs we come in contact with, the better our bodies become at defending themselves against those germs. I am pretty much the other end of the spectrum - I pick binkis up off the floor and stick them in my kids' mouths - amazingly enough, they rarely get sick! Chock it up to our amazing bodies! Seth about has a hernia every time I attempt to set a crawling child down on a hospital floor though - apparently that is about the dirtiest place in the earth!

Shantell said...

I used to have the same phobia until I started working in a hospital. I used to get sick all the time but now I have built up quite the immune system and never get sick. I have to agree with Seth though. I would NEVER put my kids down on a hospital floor. Maybe because I have seen too much. I think they should put that hand sanitizer in grocery stores and other public places. We started using it on our kids hands everytime we leave the grocery store and we haven't had the stomach flu like we did last season.

Whit said...

Ah! I am the same way! Except for holding my breath in hospitals. That's beyond weird Erin! I always worry that I am passing that down to Sofi! I have to get the paper ready to dry my hands in a public restroom and I always open a pubic restroom door with it! Oh and I don't touch the faucet after I wash my hands. I use the drying paper stuff!