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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

That Explains Everything!

I was thinking about the drama we are going through with Eason's teacher right now. How could I not? She produces new, unimaginable foibles each day for our delight! But, it has caused me to remember a teacher I had back in 2nd grade, who's ineptitude surprisingly surpassed that of Eason's teacher.

Mrs. D..... I will call her that to save myself from any chance of this getting back to her, it would be just my luck to have the impossible happen! Anyway, Mrs. D. was a pittiable person. As I reflect back on the whole situation, I now realize she was, in no way, qualified to be in charge of a classroom of children. I knew this then, as well, and felt bad for her even then, but due to the effect it had on my situation at the time, I couldn't feel badly enough for her to want her to stay!

Mrs. D. had absolutely NO control over our classroom. It didn't help that there were some "special" students in there who were not the best behaved. Back then, they didn't have anywhere else to put the "special" kids, I guess. Either that, or I was "special'' and never knew it! (ok, yes, I left it wide open!) Anyway, these kids would run wild in the classroom.

There were two boys, William and Jesse, who were the ring leaders of the chaos. I actually had enough smarts to befriend these two, as I figured it would be better to be on their good side than on the receiving end of their excess energy. This was very wise, I must say. They sat by the pencil sharpener, and would lift up the dresses of all the girls that came to use it! Ironically, though, they wouldn't do it to the ones they actually liked. They would go around the room and..... yes, it is very cliche, but they'd put tacks on everyone's chairs, including the teacher's. Of course, they wouldn't put them on their own chairs, or the girl's they liked! Inevitably, the teacher would come back from lunch and sit right down on the tacks on her chair. I remember this happening more than once, and you would think she would have learned to look before sitting, but she never did. Once, Jesse hid behind her chair and when she went to sit down, he pulled it out from behind her and she landed flat on her tush. I always felt so bad for her.

There was another kid in our class named Raymond. (I later found out he ended up in Prison for murder, so I doubt he'll read this, and even if he does, what's he going to do about it?) He was a real punk. We were all afraid of him, so if he took our pencil, or a book we were reading, we didn't put up a fight. It was his! One day, he had done something the teacher didn't like, so she tried to get him to go to the principal's office. He wouldn't go, so she ended up chasing him around and around the room! I still remember being mortified that the teacher had absolutely no way of controlling him! Once, she actually caught him, and sat on top of him on the floor with his hands above his head, pinned down. This would never happen in this day and age, for sure!

The funniest thing that happened that year involved Willy and Jesse, again. It was a really rainy day, and we weren't allowed to go outside for recess. We were in a very old school, and there were doors to the bathrooms that led outside onto the playground. Willy and Jesse snuck off to the bathrooms after lunch, and when it was time to go back into the classroom, they were no where to be found. As the teacher was rounding us all up, she suddenly gasped in horror. Outside in the rain, sopping wet, and naked as the day they were born, were Jesse and Willy! They were dancing and jumping out in the rain! They knew she wouldn't go after them in the pouring rain, especially because they were buck naked! I still remember their slick wet, white bodies in the rain! We also got our first anatomy lesson that day!

Although that year was the worst year of schooling in my gradeschool years, I will be forever grateful for Willy and Jesse's comic relief that got us through it all!

Needless to say, that teacher was eventually dismissed, or maybe she quit. I don't even remember how long she lasted, but the next one was very strict! I will never forget that year in school, though.